What Happened to Being Human?
by waiting4thefairytale
Summary: Bella moves back to Forks at the age of 19. There, she meets the Pack and the Cullens, uncovering secrets about herself and her friends. Will she take the opportunity to move away? or will she embrace it? What happens when Bella has a secret of her own?
1. Chapter 1

I returned to my old life on a Wednesday evening. It was around 6pm when a taxi pulled up to a place I once called home.

"Thank you," I said paying the driver.

"No problem!" he nodded and helped me get my stuff out of the car. Taking my duffle bags, throwing one over my shoulder and holding the other in my hand, I slowly made my way to the house.

It was easy to tell someone was home by the way the light shined in the darkness outside. Closing my eyes, I imagined Charlie sitting in the living room, the football game on while holding a beer in hand. Turning the doorknob, I took in a deep breath and walked inside.

I swept my eyes over everything around me. The staircase was in front of me, off to the side a bit; the living room was to my left and the kitchen and hallway to the right. Everything was just the same as it was when I was 9.

Heading to my left, I stared at the crowded room. There were nine large men sitting all around while my dad sat on his recliner chair.

Dropping my bags, I bit my lip and opened my mouth. "Hey dad," I said softly.

All eyes turned on me as I stared at Charlie.

"Bella," he breathed getting out of his seat. He looked exactly the same. Sure he was a bit older and taller, but he was just as I remembered.

He came over, hugging me tightly. "I was supposed to come get you wasn't I?" he said shutting his eyes frustrated with himself.

"Nah, you were fine. I got a cab. The airport was kind of crazy anyways," I smiled. Relief washed over me as I saw no rejection or disappointment on his face when he opened his eyes back up. There was no awkwardness in his body language either. His eyes carried love and affection and his stance seemed relaxed and at ease.

"I'm so sorry Bells. It just slipped my mind. I wasn't thinking at all- I must have not wrote it down, or maybe I forgot it somewhere I just-"

"Dad," I laughed, "its fine. I'm okay and I made it here safe."

He gave me a small nod and smile but I could tell he was still mad at himself. "Your little girl's all grown up now," I smirked with lightness in my tone.

This time he let out a real laugh and leaned forward again to give me another hug and a kiss to the top of my head.

A throat cleared and I pulled away from Charlie. Looking around for the source of the noise, I turned my head and found a familiar face sitting on the couch.

"Jake?" I asked. My eyes went wide as I realized it really was him.

"Jake!" I yelled in happiness as he came over and gave me a hug.

"Chica," he said coming over to hug me. I was stunned. This was my Jake? The boy who was once this scrawny kid and play with me in the mud?

"Look at you!" I said pulling away. He was about 5'8" or 5'9" with toned muscles in places I never knew could look so good.

"Well look at you," he smiled. I looked down at me and didn't see what he was seeing. I was fair skinned, maybe a bit thinner than the average person, around 5'"5 and had brown curlyish hair.

"Jake, you look amazing," I said still getting this all together. He blushed a bit and I let out a laugh. Hugging him again, I noticed how warm he was.

"And you are super warm," I said touching my hand to his bare chest. "Why are you half naked in my dad's house?" I asked, as he stayed silent.

He let out a laugh along with everyone else in the room, including my dad.

"Long story," he said.

"Must be a very long one since…everyone is half naked here," I said quickly scanning the room.

Everyone laughed again and Jake hugged me to his side.

"So what are you doing here?" he wondered, gazing down at me.

I went a bit stiff and looked over to Charlie. He didn't tell anyone?

Giving me a blank expression I turned back to Jake with a feeble smile. "Long story."

Jake gave me a suspicious look and dropped it as I looked at anything but him. The thing about Jake was he could read me better than anyone. It was like we had this connection between us. I swear at times we could read each other's minds.

"So…introductions?" Charlie prompted us.

"Oh, right!" Jake exclaimed. Turning us to face the couch, he introduced me to the farthest person sitting from us. "Bella, this is Embry Call; Embry this is Bella."

"Nice to meet you Bella," he said sweetly. "You too," I smiled.

"This is Quil Aterra," Jake said next. I said hello and gave him another friendly smile. After that, I met Paul, Brady, Seth, Collin, Sam, and Jared. They all seemed really nice. Each gave me a friendly smile and shook my hand. There was something about Sam though. I couldn't explain it, but I just felt excited and happier than a few seconds ago when he smiled at me and shook my hand.

After the introductions were done, I let out an embarrassed laugh. "Wow, these are a lot of names."

"You'll get the hang of it," Jake said positively.

I smiled up at him and laughed a bit. Still the same old Jake- had all the confidence in the world for me.

"Did you eat Bells? We had dinner a while ago but im sure I can still order you a pizza," Charlie asked me.

I smiled and shook my head. "No im okay. I can whip up something later. Do you mind if I go unpack?" I asked him.

"Sure honey," he said as Jake's arm fell from my back.

"Thanks," I told him.

"Need any help?" Jake asked me.

"Nah," I smiled, "Stay with your gang." Kissing his cheek real quick I headed for my bags. Picking up my stuff, I made my way upstairs and to my old room. The door was shut and admittedly, I felt a bit nervous to open it.

Turning the handle, I braced myself for what I would see. I was shocked once again. It was almost just the same as I left it when I was 10. The bulletin board full of my drawings and colorings were all still hanging up; some pictures of Jake and I when we were little were still framed on my nightstand. I noticed my twin size bed was now replaced with a queen sized one, and the border of Scooby Doo that once went around my turquoise walls was now gone. My bedspread was now a dark purple rather than the once animated one I had for my 'big girl bed'.

Setting my stuff down on the floor, I strolled over to my bed and sat on it. How had everything changed so fast? The little girl that once lived in this room was no longer me. What had happened? Where had the time gone?

I noticed the moon's light shining down on me. Turing to look over my shoulder, I glanced at the beauty of the night. The moon looked full and bright; the stars were all shining showing what a clear night it was.

Moving over to the window, I let out a heavy breath and laid my head on the wall beside it. It all seemed so calm and peaceful. It was almost perfect. Staring out at the night, my thoughts began to wander over everything that happened. I wasn't here to visit like I wished for in my dreams I was here to stay. Finding Renee's body hanging in the doorway of our exercise room, as we called it, had me move right away. How could I possibly stay in that house after finding my mother dead after hanging herself? My mother's suicide took a part of me that made my heart and head feel so worn down. I needed to try and get that back, whether it was going to be here or at Aunt Betty's farm. Focusing my eyes back onto the beautiful night, I took in a breath, pulling up my hair into a pony and got down to business.

First, I trotted down the stairs and into the kitchen. Glancing in the kitchen, I couldn't find much. There were some bottles of beer, a jar of pickles, and some bottles of water, but other than that, not much to eat except for condiments.

Sighing, I looked through the cupboards and pantries and found a box of noodles. Gathering my bearings, I found that Charlie hadn't even changed the places of his dishes, cups and pots. Everything was literally the same from when my mom and I had left. Putting on a pot of water, I turned on the stove and waited for it to boil.

"You did what?" I heard what sounded Jake yell.

"Jake," someone warned to him.

"How could you imprint on her? She just got here for God's sakes!" he continued to yell.

Walking into the living room to investigate, I found Jake standing up looking furiously at Sam.

"Everything okay here?" I asked the men.

No one spoke; Jake just continued to glare at Sam, huffing out harsh puffs of air. I noticed he was staring to tremble a bit.

"Jake, you okay?" I asked a bit nervous. The air was thick with tension.

"I need to get out of here," he muttered walking past everyone, including me.

"Jake?" I asked again ready to follow him. Not only did he not meet my eyes as he past me, but he was also trembling even worse.

"Bella don't." Charlie said stopping me from going after him. I looked up at him with a confused look, clearly puzzled on why he was stopping me. Jared and the guy Paul, I think it was, brushed past us and slipped outside to Jake.

A toilet flushed and a few seconds later Seth came out of the bathroom with a bewildered look on his face.

"What did I miss?" he asked.

No one answered, not until Seth continued to walk into the living room and Embry whispered something to him.

"Sam imprinted on Bella."

"Huh?" I asked as I heard my name. What was imprinting? I wondered.

All heads snapped up to me, Sam looking like a deer in headlights at me.

My eyes snapped back to Charlie as he let out a sigh and shook his head. What was happening?

I continued to feel uneasy. I didn't like this. Shifting from foot to foot, I couldn't stand it anymore. "My water is probably boiling," I said pointing back over to the kitchen. Charlie nodded, letting go of my arm.

I turned back into the kitchen and was beyond lost. I couldn't understand what was going on between Jake, and then Sam and then the phrase I heard Embry tell Seth.

Pouring the box of noodles into the pot, I watched as they all sunk to the bottom.

"Find something to eat?" a voice asked. Jumping a bit, I turned my head and found Sam in the kitchen doorway.

"Yea," I said softly. "Noodles," I told him holding up the empty box.

Silence passed between us and I felt awkward again. What could I possibly do? My noodles wouldn't be ready for a few minutes and this interaction I had going on between this guy named Sam was not going too well.

I walked over to the fridge, pulling out the container of shredded parmesan I saw in the fridge earlier. Going back over to the counter, I pulled out a bowl from the cupboard and waited some more.

God this was excruciating, I thought in my head. I could feel Sam's presence behind me. I was guessing he was still leaning against the doorway watching me. Why? I asked myself. No idea.

"I'm sorry for what you heard back there," he finally said. Moving to face him, I observed how his eyebrows were furrowed and he was looking down at the floor.

"It's fine. I'm guessing im not going to be getting any explanation soon though," I assumed.

He shrugged his shoulders. "There are going to be a lot of things that you are going to hear around here that won't make sense to you. But im asking you to trust me and be patient."

"Be patient for how long?" I asked.

"I don't know," he said.

This time my eyebrows furrowed. "Your asking me to trust you, a guy who I have just met, so you can not hide whatever you guys are hiding, and not tell me?" I asked. Was he seriously thinking straight?

"And," I continued, "You want me to be patient for…who knows how long so you can..."

Reading his face I nodded. "Right, can't tell me."

I went back to my noodles, finding them ready. Turning off the stove and straining the water from the pot, I poured them into the bowl and sprinkled parmesan over it.

"Bella, im sorry," he said to me. Shivers ran up and down my arms. His voice and apology seemed so strong and true.

"Not a big deal," I told him with a small smile as I grabbed a fork from the drawer.

I went to walk out of the kitchen and my head snapped up when the front door opened back up.

"You okay?" I asked Jake as he came walking back in with Jared and Paul in tow. Sam's presence was right behind me. I could feel his heat radiating off of him.

He nodded but I could tell he seemed a bit sullen. Walking over to face him, I stood on my tiptoes. Laying a soft kiss on his cheek, I gave him a small smile and then walked upstairs to my room.

I had no idea what was going on. I wanted to know, yet at the same time I knew I wouldn't get to know until they were ready to share whatever they were hiding with me.

Plugging in my ipod, I debated unpacking. Its not like brought many things. I only two bags to be exact. The rest was supposed to be airmailed to Charlie's house, hopefully arriving in a few days.

Sitting back on my bed, I ate my bowl of pasta and checked my school email. This year I was going to be taking all online classes since I was now living in Forks and couldn't be at the campus to attend the lectures and exams.

"Knock knock," Jake said coming into my room.

"Hey," I said logging off and shutting my computer.

"Hey, I wasn't interrupting anything was I?" he asked looking at my laptop.

"No, I was just checking some emails and such. Nothing too exciting," I said. He nodded and came to sit next to me on my bed.

"I'm sorry for my actions earlier," he told me.

"Its okay," I told him.

"It shouldn't have happened." He said punishing himself.

Shifting my body, I put a hand on his shoulder and leaned my chin on him too. "Things happen Jake. I'm not mad at you. I'm just sorry I couldn't have been any help."

"Don't be sorry, it was none of your doing," he said looking over at me. "But it was about me right?" I asked him.

He seemed to be a bit shocked and worried at the same time. "Its fine, no need to share anything with me." I said looking at his face.

"I'm sorry, I want to, its just, I cant-"

"Jake, just don't," I told him. I hated hearing that. For once in my life, after knowing I say it myself, I hated that phrase. Maybe it was because I had a low patience today. With all this bullshit going on right now and the secrets, maybe that was it. But hearing 'I can't' coming out of Jake's mouth was something I really didn't want to hear at the moment.

"Bells," he said trying to come up with something to make me feel better. Sighing, I leaned off of him and got up from my bed. The pasta was now gone and I felt empty just like the bowl as I set it down on my desk. Moving my laptop to my desk also, I plopped on the bed, lying back to stare at the ceiling.

"I want to tell you Bella, but I cant be the one to tell you. I mean-" he said finding it didn't come out right.

"Can we just drop it?" I asked looking at him. Hearing he couldn't be the one to tell me something squeezed something inside of me. I wasn't sure what he meant or was trying to say, but it wasn't making me feel any better.

"Bells, I need you to understand that I want you to know everything I just-"

"Jake," I said exasperated. "Just drop it okay? I know you aren't going to tell me whatever secret you are hiding and talking about it isn't going to make it any better when you cant say anything about it. So just shut up about it, please." I asked with my hands to my forehead.

"But I don't want you to be mad. I really do want to tell you everything its just so complicated Bells and-"

"Jake!" I reprimanded now sitting up frustrated. He huffed and I could tell he was hurt by my actions but I really couldn't take any more. What was the point of talking to me about something he was hiding when he wasn't even going to tell me? It was like dangling a piece of meat in front of a hungry dog.

"Come on," he grunted to me, taking me by the wrist.

"Jake, what-"

He led me downstairs and back into the living room. Great, I thought to myself.

"You need to tell her," Jake said to Sam.

"Jake," Charlie said in a cautious voice.

"I can't keep such a big part of my life hidden from my best friend- especially since she is now apart of this." He told my dad. I looked at the two men confused. What was I apart of?

"Sam tell her," Jake said, sounding like he was almost pleading with him.

"Dad?" I asked confused by everything. Sam was still over by the fireplace sighing and Jake was staring at him waiting for him to make a move.

"Bella, do you remember the stories we used to tell you and Jake?" Charlie asked me. I tried to think back to everything but I wasn't drawing up much.

"Vaguely. I remember always sitting around a fire and Uncle Billy always used to tell them. A few times you would pitch in or tell them too, but it's all kind of foggy from there."

"You don't remember the tale of the Chosen One, the Legend of the Man, the Cold Ones, The White Wolf…" he asked.

I put a hand to my forehead and tried again to bring the memories back. Still, I didn't come up with much. "Dad, that was a long time ago. Almost 10 years," I reminded him. He sighed.

"There was a legend we always used to tell you- the story between the Cold Ones and the Tribal Men."

"Okay," I said remembering bits and pieces. "The Cold Ones were bad- they resembled vampires or something right?" I asked.

He nodded, "Do you remember anything about the Tribal Men?"

"Umm," I said thinking over what I could remember. "They were protectors right? They protected their land and people. Dad I don't remember much of it all."

He sighed again. "In the legend, as you remember, the Tribal Men were protectors- guarding the land and the people. But they were also shape shifters. They turned into werewolves remember?" he asked me carefully.

"Yea…" I said finding bit and pieces were becoming more familiar now. "They fought against the Cold Ones with their razor sharp teeth and claws. They also had really good agility or some shit like that."

"Bella, what if those legends were true?" Charlie challenged my thinking.

"Dad, they are just stories- or legends as you call them. They have been past down from generations to generations. Please don't tell me you actually believe in that." I asked him.

"They aren't just stories Bella. They are real Bella," he said.

"Dad," I huffed. How was it that I always fell into the parental role?

"Boys," he said pointing over to Quil and Embry.

"Just watch," Jake whispered to me as they stepped outside. Moving to the window, I watched as the two men turned into wolves.

"Holy shit," I cussed out. I couldn't believe my eyes. This was not real. This was the stuff they carried in movies, and I, was unfortunately not in a movie.

I wiggled my way through the tense crowd and went to open the front door. There was just no way they were real. This had to be a prank. It was the only logical explanation.

"No way in hell," I said aloud as I stood in the doorway with two large horse sized wolves standing in the front yard. "You're telling me this is real?" I asked still watching them.

"Yes," Charlie said.

"Right," I breathed, pulling my hair out of its ponytail and running a hand through it.

"So tell them to change back," I said.

"You might want to turn around," Seth stated. I looked at him puzzled.

"They are naked when they phase back," Sam said to me while throwing the guys some shorts.

"Right" I said blushing a bit as I turned around. I waited for a few seconds till Sam gave me a nod and I turned back around. Jared and Paul were human again. It was scary.

"So?" Jake asked me.

"This is some scary shit," I told him.

"I'm sure you have questions," Sam asked me.

"Umm…no. Not at this moment. My head is kind of fuzzy or well…empty. I'm just- taking it in." I said in the nicest way possible.

Charlie nodded and then brought me to his side, kissing my head. It reminded me of how Jake does that. Jake…my best friend. Who is now a werewolf. Or was a werewolf, or I guess _**is**_ a werewolf.

"Holy shit, my best friend is a werewolf." I said. Putting a hand over my mouth I internally hit myself. I didn't mean to say that out loud.

"Come on," my dad said, guiding me back to the living room. They all gave me a few minutes to process this all. It was like this loop of swirling jumbledness. From what I saw to what I think is logic, it was like a never-ending battle in my head. When I gathered somewhat of a mental capacity to understand and listen, they went over everything. Sam was the alpha of that they call 'a pack'. It was rightfully Jake's but he didn't want to take it, so since Sam was the first to change, it was his position. From there, they talked about why they changed (because of the vampires in town) and what they do. They also went over what the trembling was and why they had such hot skin.

"Wow," I breathed running a hand through my hair again. I found myself doing that when I was stressed. "Anything else I should know?" I asked weakly, a bit of jokingness in my voice. There possibly couldn't be anymore…could there?

Everyone's eyes darted from side to side or each other. "Oh dear lord, there is more," I said as I watched all of the men. "Just spit it out," I said trying to deal with this as best I could. Not only was I antsy, but I also had a pit in my stomach that I didn't like. I looked at Charlie waiting for him to say something but he just glanced over at Sam.

"What you heard earlier- what we were telling Seth," Sam said, "Involves you…and me."

"You and me how?" I asked not liking where this was headed. Charlie seemed to be a bit shifty and Jake wasn't looking at me- as a matter of fact, nobody was.

"See, imprinting is when a wolf find his mate. The wolf instantly feels this connection to the significant other and is tied to them."

"In laymen's terms, its love at first sight."

"Right," he told me. "Both the wolf and the imprint find themselves now devoted to each other, spending the rest of their lives together as mates."

"So then what does this have to do with you and…- oh god," I said pulling it all together.

The breath in my lungs had suddenly disappeared and I put a hand to my mouth. Sam imprinted on me. That means…oh fuck. I was tied to Sam, or well, he was tied to me. Forever. His life… my life. Holy shit, he is the guy I am supposed to be with for the rest of my life!

I swallowed hard and continued to analyze this. This is my life now, he is the one. I'm done dating and trying to find Mr. Perfect. Shit, how did this happen? Where has my life gone? I'm supposedly in love with him now? Or going to be… or am or…wait. I'm supposed to fall in love with a werewolf! My Mr. Perfect is a freakin' werewolf. Fuck!

"This-…this-…" I repeated now moving my hands to my head. My head wasn't forming words as I struggled to make out a sentence. I was supposed to fall in love with a man…this man who just happens to be a werewolf and the Alpha of the so-called 'Pack'- A man that I just met about an hour and a half ago. Why don't I get a say in this?

"I don't get a choice in this?" I asked looking up at him.

"Bells, it's not like that," Jake said softly.

"Not like that…then what is it like Jake?" I asked a bit mad. "Cause right now, I was just told that I am expected to fall in love with a man…who I just met not even two hours ago. Who is a werewolf and the alpha of his pack, which by the way, you are in…and you are seriously sitting next to me saying its not like im _**not**_ getting a choice?"

"No, I just meant, your feelings will change," he said. After he spoke those words, I flipped even more shit. My feelings will change? What the hell did I do to the world to get this thrown on me?

"I need to get some air," I told everyone.

"Bella," Sam said standing up.

"Please don't," I said staggering back from him a bit. I didn't want to be near him right now. I wasn't sure how I felt about this. "Its all a lot to handle right now. I mean, jeez, you all just freakin' told me you were werewolves just a second ago. And now im supposedly destined to fall in love with the alpha of the pack. Great, I have to go digest this."

Walking unsteadily out of the house, I threw my head back and looked out at the stars. This was some seriously messed up shit. Sighing, I took in some breaths and tried to pull myself together. I'm sure Sam was just as antsy and upset about this as I was. I ran off and pushed him away. Imprint or not, he didn't deserve that.

Walking around a bit, I leaned against a tree, the police cruiser and even kicked some stones on the driveway. My brain had to organize this. I accepted I could no longer understand it, but I had to cope with this some how.

One step at a time Bella, I told myself. Analyzing everything about werewolves seemed like pie compared to this whole thing between Sam and I. God, why was this so difficult. Pepping myself up for what was to come turned and moved to walk back into the house. When the door opened, the silence seemed deafening.

"So, I think I am getting a handle on this better," I smiled weakly. Jake let out a relieved smile and came to hug me.

"Did you want to take to us about anything honey? You can ask us anything, don't be afraid," my dad said.

"I'm just trying to piece this all together. It's just so illogical. I mean, vampires and werewolves? What's next? Are you going to tell me the tooth fairy was real and she's floating around here somewhere too?"

There were a few laughs around the room and it made me feel a bit better. Charlie rolled his eyes and chuckled a bit, "no, sorry, that was still your mother."

As he mentioned Renee, I oddly felt something. Of course, those images of finding her immediately popped into my head and made me feel sick, but I actually felt… a twinge of heartbreak.

Charlie gave me an apologetic look and I just brushed it off into this weird emotional night.

"You think we can talk?" Sam asked me.

"Sure," I breathed out, a hand running through my hair. I got up, nodding for him to follow me out back.


	2. Chapter 2

When we got out back, I sat on the steps with him beside me. I wasn't sure what to say, so I waited for him to say something first.

"I know this must not be ideal for you," he started.

I let out a little chuckle. His beginning seemed a bit uptight, nothing like how I thought he would start.

"What?" he asked curiously.

"Sorry," I said apologetically, "you just seemed really cautious or something. I know I flipped shit back there, which I didn't mean to do and am very sorry for, but you don't have to try so hard. Its just me, nothing that special."

"You're special, beyond special," he emphasized, "trust me." Clearing his voice, he continued, "I just…am not sure how you feel about all of this. And im not trying to push you into anything and I didn't mean to lay all of this on you at once. You have nothing to be sorry for, to me, you reacted really well to all of this. I'm just surprised you didn't run off when you had the chance."

"No point in running when all my stuff is here," I joked bumping my shoulder with his. I was dying to clear the tension and awkwardness that lingered in the air. Sensing this, Sam laughed along with me. From there the conversation seemed to flow. We talked about how he was alpha and what he was doing at my dad's house.

"It's a big responsibility and there's a lot of weight on my shoulder, but I love it." He told me. I nodded, not quite understanding how he could love being a wolf and the alpha along side that.

"How about you? What's brought you back?" he asked looking at me. Glancing at my hands I shrugged my shoulders.

"It's been a long time since I've seen my dad. A lot has changed- more than I would have liked, and it was good to see him. I guess I never really knew how much I missed him."

Sam nodded but continued to curiously stare at me. It was like he could tell there was more to my answer. What I was saying was the truth, I couldn't believe how much time had passed, and I really did miss him, I just didn't really want to add any more to that statement. After a while, things became easier. He had me laughing at a few things he would say and we bumped shoulders a few times. But as we became a little more comfortable with each other, Sam tested out the waters again by talking about the imprint. I stayed quiet mostly. Its not that I didn't want to talk about the imprint, I just wasn't sure if I really wanted to bring it up.

"So, you think its that bad?" he asked seriously.

I shrugged and bit my lip. I wasn't even sure how I felt about it yet, all I knew that this whole imprinting was kind of unfair. I mean why didn't I get to have no choice in the matter?

I was about to open my mouth and tell him how I felt and everything I was thinking, but before I could do that, some girl had interrupted us along with Jared who was now standing at the back door, with an apologetic look on his face. The woman stood on the back porch slightly glaring at the two of us.

"Emily!" he said shocked. I looked at him and then back at her. She was a petite girl with sandy blond hair and a sundress on. Her hair was a little shorter than shoulder length and a bit wavy. She seemed very different than what I could ever be.

"Sam it's been almost an hour since the game ended. I was getting worried when you didn't call to tell me when you would be home," She said. "What are you doing out here anyways? Who is this?"

Did she just say home? I thought to myself, as I felt sick. Snapping out of my thought, I brushed my pants off and stood up.

"Bella Swan," I said offering a hand out to shake. She gave me a look over, which showed me she was not sure if she approved of me or not.

"Charlie's daughter," she stated. "I'm Emily Young, Sam's girlfriend."

I luckily held back a choke and put on my best acting face. "Its nice to finally meet you. I heard a lot about you," I said lying like no tomorrow.

"Really?" she beamed staring at Sam. I didn't dare turn back to see what his face looked like. Not only was I mad at him for fooling me, but I was mad at myself. How could I be so stupid?

"Yea, he seems to really like you," I told her a bit hurt. I cleared my throat, pushing away my own emotions. "But anyways, Sam was just out here giving me the low down on what there is to need to know about Forks and La Push. I didn't know you guys had so many rules and laws."

She nodded looking at me a bit oddly. "I'm from Florida so it's a very different atmosphere," I supplied.

"Okay," she said, almost seeming like she didn't really care. There was an awkward pause and I clenched my fists in my back pockets. "Well, I will let you guys talk. Sorry for holding Sam up."

"Not a problem. He should know to call me by now."

"Right," I whispered as I passed her. Brushing past Jared, I didn't stop until I got into my room.

"Get out," I told Jake as he was sitting on my bed waiting for me.

"Bella," he said sadly.

"Jake, get the hell out of my room right now." I commanded staring at my feet.

"Hey," he said coming to hug me as tears gathered in my eyes.

"No," I said trying to push his arms away. "I did this to myself. Don't!" I yelled to Jake pulling away. "Just get out."

He looked at me brokenly. Leaning down to kiss my cheek, I moved away, and he kissed the side of my head. "I will be downstairs if you need me." He said rejectedly.

He shut the door softly behind him and I bit my lip to hold back a sob. Of course this would happen. I actually decided to see how this was supposed to go- I took a chance, I foolishly trusted him and it came right back at me.

I scooted of my bed and closed the window, covering it with my drapes. The backyard was right below me. Flying back to my bed, I let out the sob I could no longer contain in my chest. I always do this. I continuously trust the people, thinking each time it would be different. I take a chance/risk and always lose out.

Feeling exhausted, I snuggled up with my pillow and fell into a dark sleep.

* * *

><p>When I got up the next morning, well, it wasn't fun. The events of yesterday hit me like a brick, and I wished the horrible things away. Faintly, I heard a knock at the front door, but I didn't bother getting it. Instead, I just went back to sleep, hoping it would last forever.<p>

Around 6pm, I got up from bed. I took a shower, got dressed, debated on unpacking some clothes, and then went downstairs. My stuff still laid in the duffle bags. From what happened yesterday, I just wondered if it was better I lived with Aunt Betty instead of my dad.

In the kitchen there was a note from Charlie saying he wouldn't be home till late. Sighing, I stuck the note back on the fridge and grabbed the money he left for me on the counter. We needed groceries… bad. Finding some car keys, I went outside and found an old pick up truck.

'Jake fixed it up for you' the note read, tucked under the windshield wiper, in Charlie's handwriting. 'Thank him'.

Rolling my eyes, I tucked the note in my pocket and was off to get us some food. I found my way around pretty easily. No one was kidding when they said Forks was a small town. I stuck out like a sore thumb and hated it. I got stares all the way through the grocery store and in the parking lot. I wanted to yell at everyone, asking them if they just wanted a picture of me instead so it would last longer.

I made it back to the house around 7pm. Charlie's police cruiser was in the driveway, along with a car I didn't know. Feeling the familiar pit in my stomach again, I grudgingly walked into the house with a bag of groceries.

"Bells," Charlie said staring at me. In front of him stood Sam, who was now turned to look at me too.

"You have got to be kidding me," I muttered walking further into the house.

"I need to explain," Sam said watching me as I passed him full handed.

"No, you don't," I said setting the bags on the counter.

"Bella," Charlie said softly.

"Don't dad," I said brushing past the two men. Sam reached out to grab me, but I luckily pulled my arm away the last second. That was the last thing I needed- to be cornered against him.

"Go away Sam," I said to him as he came out to help me with the bags.

"We need to talk," he said following my actions.

"What part of 'no' do you not get? I don't want to see you I don't want to talk and I sure as hell do not want you here." I snapped.

"Look, I know you are mad," he said as we made it into the kitchen with the groceries. I let out a frustrated cry and turned to look at him. "Stop! Just please stop!"

I hustled back outside to get the last bag we both missed but he persistently followed me again.

"Just give me a chance," he pleaded.

"What makes you even think you deserve one?" I asked.

Bella," he said speechless. Shoving the last grocery bag in his hand I shook my head.

"Tell Charlie I went to Jake's. I'll be home later," I said pulling my hand away from Sam's desperate grasp. I slid inside the car, starting the engine, double punching the clutch and drove away.

* * *

><p>When I got to Jake's I let out a breath. The day would have been fine if Sam didn't come by. I didn't want to talk yet at the same time I knew something down inside me felt happy he wasn't giving up on me. I wanted him with me. Pushing that away I walked up to the Black's house knocking on the door.<p>

"Bella?" Billy questioned in surprise.

"Uncle Billy," I said hugging him. "Come in!" he said.

"Thanks," I smiled at him.

"What are you doing here? You're old man okay?"

"Yea, he's good. I was actually looking for Jake. He dropped off a pick up truck for me today? And I just wanted to thank him."

"He's in the garage," Billy said.

"Thanks," I smiled. "It was good to see you Uncle Billy," I told the man as I made my way to the back door knowing the short cut.

"You too kiddo, you look surprisingly good for what went down…" he said trailing off with sympathetic eyes.

I pulled a small smile and nodded to him one last time. I walked down the dirt trail and found myself face to face with a small garage off to the side of the Black's property.

"Knock knock" I said popping my head inside.

"Bells?" Jake asked rolling out from under a car.

"Hey," I said smiling at him. He had a bit of grease on his cheek making him look at loveable as ever.

"What's up?" he asked with his full attention on me.

"Well, someone dropped off a car for me today? And I just thought I should thank him."

"It was my pleasure," he said with a smile. "So do you like it?"

"Like it? Damn Jake, I love it. I owe you one."

"I'm holding you to that," he winked. Letting out a laugh, I plopped myself down on the couch that was across from him.

"So whatcha working on?" I asked. We continued to talk for a while. Jake worked under the car while we bantered about things and went over old times.

"Hey Bella!" Quil and Embry said coming into the garage.

"Hey Guys," I smiled sweetly at them. They joined me on the couch, talking along with Jake and I.

"You guys seriously do that for fun?" I asked.

"Yea, its such a rush." Embry explained.

"Cliff diving is the most amazing thing ever," Quil said.

"Well," I laughed, "until today, I have never heard of that being something 'fun' to do."

Jake brought us all some food and drinks and we all hung out for a while.

"So who's the car for?" I wondered to Jake as the night started to settle. The radio was playing softly in the background as I was lying on the couch with my legs over Embry's lap, Quil still right next to us.

"Me," he said rolling out from under it to get some weird looking shiny tool.

"Well that is a really nice car. Am I getting a ride in that?" I questioned.

"Maybe if you are extra nice to me," he teased getting out from under the car again to lean close by me.

"I'm always extra nice to you," I said pushing my index finder into his forehead.

"And that classifies as extra nice?" Jake asked chuckling. I raised an eyebrow, shrugging my shoulders a bit as I chuckled along with him.

"Nice party boys," a voice interrupted us.

My head snapped over to where Sam was standing and I groaned. Was I ever going to get away from this man?

"Why?" I complained to the ceiling as I flipped my head back.

"We should get going," Embry and Quil said getting up.

"But!...Ugh, okay," I said looking into their eyes. They shouldn't have to suffer the pain of Sam's presence with me. I said goodbye to the two boys and took over the whole couch to myself.

"Why are you here?" I asked Sam, my head still tilted back to the ceiling.

"Charlie wants you home in about an hour."

"And he couldn't have called me himself to say that?" I snapped.

"Bella," Jake said giving me a look before going back under his car. I rolled my eyes, so I was being tad bit mean, but I was frustrated beyond reason.

"He did. Called the house a few times till he remembered Billy was at Sue's. So he asked me to stop by and tell you."

"Because you were still at my house," I added.

Sam didn't say anything and I just covered my hands on top of my face. Life was just too unfair sometimes.

"Well, I should go then." I told Jake, getting up from the sofa. "Don't want to be late, so might as well be early."

Jake rolled out from under the car and nodded. "Call me if you need me okay?"

"Will do pretty boy," I told him with a wink and stood up from the ground. Sam was still waiting in the doorway watching me. I wasn't sure if I hated that or not yet.

As I walked out of the garage, I found Sam trailing behind. "Go away Sam" I called out behind me.

"Not until we talk," he said. I spun around after a few more seconds of him trailing me. "Won't your girlfriend be mad at you for not being home on time or something? You know, the girl that goes by Emily Young. The girl who is your **girlfriend**."

"It's not like that," he said catching up to me.

"Oh yes it is," I said rolling my eyes and moving away from him.

"Bella," he said trying to get me to understand.

"Look," I said huffing out whatever I could. I had this sudden super strength or super irritation, I don't know, but it helped me get out what I wanted to say.

"I get that you did this whole imprint mojo thing on me. And I know we aren't supposed to fight fate because we are destined to grow old together and fall in love or some crap like that. But listen here, and listen close. I will not, I repeat, will not, fall for a guy, especially you, who is unavailable. Magically binding us or not. You have a girlfriend. Also known as a girl who you are with and are supposed to be dedicated to. You and I can't spend time around each other because we are not going to happen."

I turned to walk away but Sam grabbed my arm and turned me back to him.

"I imprinted on you. And I don't know if you know what that fully means but-"

"I know what it means," I said cutting him off. "Jake explained it all out to me. I understand how this is supposed to play out, but its not going to happen. I know pain is going to come. But the longer I stay away from you and the longer you hopefully stay away from me, we can push through it and call it a day."

"I'm not going to spend the rest of my life with a girl I don't even love anymore. Especially when I know the girl of my dreams…the one that I am destined to be with, is right in front of my face."

"Then let me get out in front of you," I said backing away and walking again. He grabbed me again, pulling me to a stop.

"Sam!" I yelled out frustrated. "I don't understand how you can _**not**_ understand this. Its simple. We are not a we. _**We**_ are nothing. You are with Emily and I am free for the taking. Screw this whole imprinting crap because it's a load of shit. Just…get over it!"

"Get over it?" he said just as frustrated. "Bella, all I can do is think of you! I can barely look at Emily when I know _**you**_ are just a short distance away! And I stare at you and all I can think is how beautiful you are and how much I want to be with you! All I want to do is spend time with you and get to know you! Why is that so hard for you to understand?"

"Because this is all a fake! If I didn't come here- if my mom didn't commit suicide- if I didn't find her fucking dead body then I wouldn't be standing in front of you right now! I wouldn't have been imprinted on or have come here, and you would still be happily in love with Emily!" I yelled out. I immediately regretted everything I yelled out as I realized what I had said. I had finally told someone what happened to Renee.

"I have to go," I said hurrily turning away and rushing off. I did not just say that. I did _**not**_ just say that.

"Bella," he said rushing up to me. I pulled my arm out of his grip, keeping my head down.

"Go away Sam, Go home to Emily."

Practically running to my truck, I got in and drove off. The whole ride home I couldn't breathe. I had admitted that out loud. Not only did I admit what I was truly holding back, but I also let it out all out loud.

* * *

><p>I got home in record time, slipping inside the house. Charlie waiting on the hall steps for me with a beer bottle in hand.<p>

"I don't want to hear it dad," I said shrugging off my jacket and going to the kitchen.

"Bella, he just needs a chance to talk to you," he said.

"Dad," I sighed exasperated. I was tired of everyone being on his side. If this were any different, I would be doing the right thing. "He has a girlfriend. A girlfriend. I don't care if destiny says I will die tomorrow, I'm not going to accept the imprint with Sam because it's not the right thing to do. I am not going to be some backstabbing bitch taking away someone _**else's**_ love of their lives because I am supposedly destined to be with him. Maybe it's my code of ethics or just my morals speaking, either way, I will not and cannot have that on my conscious."

Charlie was quiet and then he nodded letting it go. I took the carry out he ordered from the fridge and heated some of it up for me.

Taking my food upstairs with me, I plopped on my bed, belly first, with my laptop in front of me. I spent a lot of the night figuring out my online classes and compiling a list of everything I was going to need. When it was getting late, Charlie already having said goodnight to me, I put everything away, cleaned up my food mess and got ready for bed. I was literally praying for tomorrow to be better.

Slipping into bed, I pulled the covers up to my chin and went to sleep. Flashes of finding Renee hanging in the doorway had me paralyzed. I felt all of the emotions I once felt when I first found her there hanging. Bella, a voice chanted in my head. Oh Bella. It called.

I woke up with a start shaking and gasping for breath. It was like all the air had been sucked out of my lungs. I still couldn't get what happened out of my head. Tossing the covers back, I got out of bed and went downstairs. I wasn't sure what I was doing down here. All I knew was that I would not be going back to sleep for a while. Sticking my head in the kitchen, I found I wasn't hungry or thirsty, so I slipped out the back door.

I took a seat on the back porch step, where I once sat with Sam, and looked up. A black wolf was sitting in the yard staring at me.

"Don't you ever give up?" I asked him.

His big wolfy head shook from side to side and I nodded putting a hand to my forehead, "right." I was too tired to put up a fight. Whether he stayed or left, I didn't really care.

He inched closer to me as lost myself in my own thoughts. Everything that happened with Renee, coming home and finding her hanging there, it scared the shit out of me.

"Sam," I warned as I caught him out of the corner of my inching closer than I felt comfortable with. His head bowed in sadness and he sat a few feet in front of me, just sitting there.

My hands shook as I looked up to the sky, trying to get myself under control. My mind was racing; my body was so on edge. I felt like at any moment, my mothers dead body would be walking out of the house haunting me. It played in my head like a scary movie, which was literally petrifying, and happened almost every night.

I ran my hands through my long hair again and looked down at my knees. Why couldn't I get over this? Why couldn't I be strong enough to handle this? My breath came out shaky and I felt like I was unsafe once again.

Sam's wolfy head came brushing my against me, softly giving me some comfort. He swept the side of his face over mine and looked at me with concerned eyes. Something about him told me he knew I was scared. He seemed worried. Truly worried. Pulling my hands out of my hair, I stretched an arm out to touch the wolf. My hands were shaking hard as I made contact with his soft jet-black fur. It was so unreal.

My body felt comfort in the odd feeling my hands felt. It was like I found some peace in the scary madness in my dreams. Running my hand back and forth in a slow stroking like pattern, I found myself calming down a bit.

Sam let out soft purrs of content and shut his eyes in happiness. He nuzzled further into my hand but I didn't seem to care as I unconsciously continued my actions. My mind was silencing and my breath was starting to be a little less shaky. It was weird how this calmed me.

'Thank you," I muttered softly to the big wolf. It was like a cloud lifted from the haze of horror and I could breathe a bit. My body wasn't shaking as hard and I wasn't so scared.

Sam's eyes opened again and I could see concern. I stared into them for a second, till I remembered what I was doing. This was Sam, whether it was wolf Sam or human Sam he still belonged to someone else.

I retracted my hand, setting it back down in my lap. I shouldn't be seeking comfort in him. He didn't seem to like that as he bowed his head and pushed his nuzzle against my arm.

"I can't Sam," I told him softly. He looked into my eyes and knew what I was trying to say. I wasn't going to be with him, not now anyways. Inching a little closer to me, he rubbed this face against the side of my head. I closed my eyes, feeling his soft fur against me.

Before I knew it, I felt something warm and wet against my cheek. My eyes shot open and I lifted my hand to my cheek.

"Eww Sam!" I giggled feeling his sticky saliva. He just licked me. His tongue lolled out the side of his open dog like mouth. "That's gross," I told him.

He continued to give me a happy smile and I just rolled my eyes trying to hold back a smirk. He nuzzled himself against my face again but I pulled back with a laugh. I didn't need anymore doggy kisses from him.

A gust of wind blew around us and the smile quickly wiped off my face. Flashes of when I ran outside screaming for help hit me. Every feeling that slowly faded away came rushing back to me. Sam sat in front of the porch steps and lightly brought a paw up, tapping me on the leg.

"Sorry," I whispered out looking down at my lap. I felt it all again, I felt everything and I was scared. He let out a whimper and tried to get close to me again. I could tell he felt the need to comfort me.

"We shouldn't be doing this," I told him leaning forward with my hands in his fur. He let out another soft whimper and I looked away.

"I should go get some sleep." I whispered. With one last comforting touch, I pulled my hands away and stood up. The tree far away in the yard caught my eye and it made me once again think of my panic I had felt when I was outside. There was a tree like that outside somewhere when I was back home.

I felt a tug on my pajama tank top and I glanced down to see Sam staring at me worriedly.

"Goodnight Sam," I whispered a bit shaky. I was scared. I didn't want to go back in the house. I was terrified of what I would encounter-seeing my nightmares come true.

"I'll see you around," I said with one last glimpse to him. I snuck back into the house, my heart pounding against my chest. I kept telling myself nothing would happen and I was safe, but I could barely believe what I was chanting in my head. Sliding back into bed, I slowly let my mind rest as I thought of Sam.

* * *

><p>I woke up at 6am after a night of tossing and turning. It was like my brain didn't want me to get any sleep. Shoving the covers of myself, I got out of bed and went downstairs to start breakfast.<p>

Eggs, Bacon, waffles and toast were on the menu today as I went around the kitchen making food.

"Wow Bells, this looks good," Charlie said coming into the room.

"Thanks," I smiled as I finished making his plate.

"Why are you up so early?" he asked.

"Couldn't sleep."

He paused for a moment. "Anything you want to talk about?"

I bit my lip and shook my head. "Nah, im okay. I think its just being in a new place that's all," I said telling a little white lie.

"Alright," he grunted as he dug into his food. We sat at the kitchen table together eating breakfast until around 7:30 hit.

"I should get going," he told me.

"Alright," I said sliding my chair out from under me and picking up our plates.

"You going to be okay today?" he asked.

"Yea, I think I am going to do some errands and stuff. Nothing big."

"Okay, well I will be home around dinner time," he told me with a kiss to my cheek.

"I'll have dinner ready." I smiled. He nodded and gave me an appreciative look. The door shut behind him and I heard the police cruiser take off. Putting away the dishes I walked upstairs and got ready to start the day.

I had some skinny jeans on, along with a black long sleeve shirt with a red tank top underneath. My black chucks were sitting by the door waiting for me to put on. When I was done, I brushed my hair and was off to get some things for my room.

My first stop was a cheap home store, which sold things like sheets, lamps, tables, etc. I needed to pick up a floor lamp and maybe a desk lamp too. After that, I stopped to pick up some thing we needed around the house and a cell phone. I decided to just buy one here since I go rid of the one I had back home. When I was done, I decided to go home and relax.

Pulling into the driveway, I glanced at the clock and saw it was around 1pm. Taking everything from the car, I quickly put it away and went back upstairs. My room was still pretty empty, and my bags were still sitting on the floor packed.

Unboxing the floor lamp, I quickly put it together and turned it on. It made the room a bit brighter and maybe a little bit more like me.

I called Charlie from my new phone, explaining my purchase and telling him I was going over to Jakes.

When I got to the Blacks, I headed straight to the garage, finding the person I was looking for.

"Hey you," I said kicking his foot from under the car.

"Hey!" he said rolling out from under the car.

"Hows the car coming along?" I asked sitting on the couch.

"Slowly," he said rubbing his hands on a towel. Getting up, he came to sit next to me, placing an arm behind me.

"So what brings you here?" he asked.

"Nothing, just wanted some company. Charlie's not coming home till dinner time so I have some time to spare."

"What have you done all day?"

"Went and got some things for the house, my room and picked me up a cell phone."

"Oh a cell phone lets see." He said with his hand out waiting. I slapped my razor phone in his hand and he observed it.

"Pretty nice phone," he said putting his number in my phone and then handing it back to me.

"Yea, it will do," I smiled up at him.

"So what have you been up to?" I asked.

"not much," he shrugged. "its Friday," he said with a smile.

"And?" I asked.

"It's the weekend." He said with a certain tone.

"Yes…"

"Which means no school."

"Right," I said with a laugh. I forgot he was still at La Push High. "So how was school?" I asked.

"So boring," he said with a groan.

I let out another laugh. High school was so much different than college. I mean, I know he was a senior, but still.

"So there is a bonfire on Sunday, you coming?" he asked.

"Sure, no one told me," I said.

"Everyone is still putting it together. Your dad probably doesn't even know yet," he said.

"Everyone?" I asked confused.

"The Elders- my dad, Quil Sr. and, Harry" Jake said. "They usually put these things together, kind of like a nice get together. It reminds us we are part of a family."

"Oh, okay," I said not sure what to say. I was about to ask more about, like who would be coming and what we would do, but before I could open my mouth my cell phone rang.

"Hello?" I asked pulling it out of my back pocket.

"Hey Bells," Charlie's voice rang out, "I know I said I would be home around 6 but I am running a bit late and so I might not be home till 7."

"Its okay, im still at Jakes." I told him. A thought popped into my head and I rolled with it. "Hey dad, did you just want to eat at the Black's? I'm sure Uncle Billy and Jake wont mind me cooking for them."

"That okay with them?" Charlie asked. I looked over to Jake and saw him nod his head vigorously. I let out a laugh and turned back to the phone.

"Yea dad, they are all for it."

"Okay, well then I will see you there around 7." He said. We said our goodbyes and hung up and Jake slapped me a high five.

"Nice! I get a homemade dinner by Bella Swan." I continued to giggle as I stood up from the couch.

"Alright, well since I am cooking, I am going to head inside your house. You coming?" I asked.

He nodded, getting up and leading the way.

"You're like a kid at Christmas," I said laughing.

"Because your cooking is like Christmas," he spoke. My laughter continued, especially when I wasn't walking fast enough for Jake's liking. He swooped me up, pulling me onto his back for a piggyback ride and ran to the house.

"You're crazy," I breathed when he put me down in the front of the house.

"Crazy for your food," he smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

I ended up making some breaded chicken, a salad, a bowl of fruit, and some rice.

"This is amazing," Jake moaned out as he ate his food. I giggled at him and then found Uncle Billy and Charlie nodding in confirmation.

"Thank you for cooking Bells," Uncle Billy said.

"My pleasure," I smiled. We all talked about our days. Jake's was boring and 'pointless' as he claimed, while Billy's was 'the usual' and Charlie's was busy.

Jake helped me clean up while our dads went to watch some TV. I was on washing duty while he was rinsing and drying. Silence passed over us for a while and so I decided to scoop up some bubbles. Placing them on Jake's cheek, I let out a laugh. Wiping them off, he let out a laugh and then flicked water at me. I giggled and squealed at the cold water as we lightly shoved each other. When we were done, Jake and I headed for his room. Plopping on the bed, I smelled the sheets- it smelled exactly like Jake.

"Your guitar!" I said seeing it was leaning against the wall behind his door.

"Oh yea," he said forgetting about the thing.

"You still play?" I asked before strumming the instrument. "I guess not," I said after hearing how out of tune it was.

"I haven't had much time to play it. It's been a while," he said as he watched me try and tune the thing. Within a few minutes, I strummed all the strings again and found it to be close to perfect. I played a few simple chords and smiled. I missed the guitar.

"I see you still remember how to play," he said.

"Not really," I said trying it out again. It felt awkward as my fingers held down some strings.

"Play something for me," he said closing his eyes as he lay on his bed with me.

"I really don't remember much. We learned a long time ago." I said softly. Strumming a few notes, it started to come back little by little. I ended up playing a few notes that sounded good together and found Jake egging me on by giving hums of appreciation. After a while, my fingers started to cramp up and I stopped.

"You're starting to remember," he said pulling himself up to look at me.

"Kind of," I said moving to lie on his stomach. Charlie called me out a few minutes after we just started talking again.

"Coming dad!" I yelled from the room.

"I'll see you later," I said to Jake giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Tomorrow?" he asked before I could leave his room.

"Tomorrow," I smiled in conformation.

Charlie and I drove home in separate cars, both parking in the driveway.

"So your day was good kiddo?" he asked.

"Very," I smiled as he hugged me to his side. When we got in the house, we pretty much went out separate ways. I went upstairs taking a shower, while he went back to the TV.

When I was dressed in my pajamas, I sat on my bed and called Aunt Betty.

"Hello?" her sweet voice rang out.

"Hey Aunt Betty, its me, Bella."

"Oh Bella honey!" she said excited.

"How are you?" I asked.

"Very well now that you called. How have you been? Are you ready to come out here?" she asked me.

"Well no, not yet. I am still at my dads. I'm not sure what my plan. I just wanted to call and check in- see how everything was and making sure you were okay."

"Oh sweetie, I am great. And there is no rush for you to come stay with me. Just take your time with you father and call me within the week when you want to come home."

"Thanks Aunt Betty," I said softly. After that we talked about her ranch and her plans for the weekend. When we hung up, I felt a little better. It was good to know she was happily willing to take me in. When Renee died, all I could think of was how I was alone. Phil was out of the picture; I didn't really have anyone in Florida since I was in college. There was Charlie but I was scared to be a bother. But then everything miraculously turned around. Aunt Betty extended an offer to me. She said she wanted to get to know me and would be pleased to have me on her ranch, and then Charlie even wanted me to come stay with him when he heard the news of Renee.

So, I went to the Dean's office at my college and asked what I should do. He allowed me to finish out my years of school with online classes while I was away, and from there, I packed up all my stuff and went to Charlie's.

"I'm going to bed Bells," Charlie said popping a head in my room.

"Okay dad," I said looking at him. "I think im about to too."

"Okay" he said giving me a kiss. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Yup, see you in the morning." I told him as I slipped into bed. I debated on shutting off my lamp on my nightstand. Maybe if I kept it on, I would sleep better. Shaking my head, I turned it off and slipped into a dream state.

I woke up gasping for breath in cold sweat around 4:45am. Well at least I slept through the whole night, I thought to myself. I continued to shake and shiver at the repeated dream I had. Why couldn't I just get over it?

Getting out of my sticky clothes, I put some new pajamas on and headed downstairs. Going back outside again, I sat on the step and watched the sun rise. It was beautiful- just starting to come up, barely showing itself.

There was a rustling in the forest and I looked up waiting for whatever it was to come out. A black furred wolf head popped out, staring at me. I gave Sam a small nod before looking away. I needed to be left alone. What happened the night before could not happen again. He must have gotten my message because he just laid at the edge of the forest watching me.

My phone rang a few minutes later and both our heads snapped to look over for the noise. Getting up, I took a quick glance back at Sam before going back inside the house.

"Hello?" I asked in a soft voice. It was only around 5am.

"Bella, its Aunt Betty," she said. "I just wanted to call and- oh I didn't wake you did I? I forgot how early it was."

"No you are fine, I was up. Couldn't sleep."

"Oh okay," she said relieved. "Well I was up feeding the horses and I couldn't help but remember that I have a wedding next weekend and I know you aren't coming here that soon, I just wanted to give you a heads up just in case. I don't want you to think im pushing you or anything," she said gently.

"Oh no, don't worry you aren't. And please, go to the wedding. I want to work around your schedule as much as possible when I do decide."

"Okay, you're sure?" she asked.

"Positive," I said. We talked a little while more till around 5:45 we hung up. Walking back down the hall, I peeked back outside and saw Sam no longer at the edge of the forest. My heart fell a bit, but I shook my head determined to push the feelings away.

I cooked breakfast early again; only this time it was pancakes, hash browns and fresh orange juice.

"I'm getting spoiled," Charlie said stepping into the kitchen. "Still not sleeping well?" he asked.

"Its getting better," I said, trying to justify with myself that it was.

"Alright kiddo, well I wont be home till late tonight. Probably 8 at the earliest." He told me as he wiped his mouth and to up to kiss me goodbye.

"Okay," I said wishing him a good day. When he left, I once again cleaned up and went to get dressed. My heart was aching, and I knew just the reason why. I haven't talked to Sam since that night at Jake's and the only time I saw him now was when he was in wolf form early in the morning. It was weird how this imprinting thing worked. Was I really going to be hurting like this for a while?

Shaking away the thoughts, I pulled a shirt over my head and huffed. It still doesn't change my mind- I will not be seeing Sam. Nothing should change because I am here. I can't be responsible for breaking up Sam and Emily because of some supernatural thing.

From there, I realized I had a whole 'nother day to myself. Finishing getting dressed, I headed down the stairs, when a knock on the door sounded through the house. Rushing to see who it was, I quickly opened it and found the deliveryman with a bunch of boxes on the porch, holding out a clipboard to sign.

I did as I was told and went to grab the mystery items.

"Have a nice day," he said behind him as he walked down the front steps of the house.

"You too!" I called as I pulled the boxes into the house. My stuff.

Taking multiple trips up and down the stairs, I quickly got them all out of the foyer. It was weird to have my stuff here now. Unpacking everything actually took a while. I wasn't sure where I wanted to put everything or if I really wanted to unpack.

By the time I was done, it was around 2:30. Skipping down the steps and turning off all the lights, I headed out the door and to Jakes.

* * *

><p>"Hello!" I called as I turned the corner into the garage.<p>

"Hey Bells!" Jake and Embry said.

"Hey guys," I smiled plopping down on the couch near Embry. "Where's Quil?" I asked, finding them to be like the three musketeers.

"Kitchen." Jake said rolling under his car.

"Where else?" Embry joked. I let out a laugh and enjoyed the company in the room. Quil got back a little while later with a sandwich in hand.

"You almost ready dude?" he asked Jake.

"Yea, all done here," Jake said getting out from under his car while wiping his hands.

"What are you going?" I asked a bit sad. I didn't want to go home to an empty house.

"I have patrol till 6:30. You're welcome to stay here though," he said obviously feeling guilty.

"I can keep you company if you want." Embry said speaking up, "I have patrol right after them so they can just come back here when I have to go."

I looked over at Jake for approval. Embry's plan was great.

"As long as you are okay with it," Jake said to me not finding a problem with it.

"It's perfect," I said beaming. Being alone was not something I was fond of, especially with the crazy nightmares that have been going on. With a kiss to my cheek and an exchange between Quil, Embry and Jake, the two men were off for patrol and I sat with the tall Quileute in the garage.

* * *

><p>It was amazing how at ease I felt with Embry. He was really easy going and fun to be around. Nothing was awkward with him and we found something to do right away.<p>

"Slap jack," I said with a daring tone as I grabbed the cards off the top of the mini fridge Jake kept in here.

"You're on," he told me as I passed him a soda. Making my way back to the sofa, I opened the worn out deck and began to shuffle the cards. We split our hands evenly waiting for the game to begin.

"Go!" I shouted furiously flipping and watching for a Jack. I screamed and jumped up crazily as our game progressed. Both Embry and I seemed really competitive and very into the perks of bragging rights we had set.

"I won!" I exclaimed as Embry ran out of cards. Smirking I let out a happy squeal and began my torment. Rules were rules- we set that whoever was to win could brag all they want, to whomever they wanted and they needed to make sure the other person was to agree with them.

From the game of cards, we moved outside and played football. It was really just getting the ball past the lines where we had set, but we liked to try and be like the pros.

Embry had about 3 touchdowns on me already and I was cursing out at him about his werewolf skills. Because he was now a giant fur ball, he not only had really good agility, but also enhanced speed, mental processes and reflexes.

I ran with the football tucked at my side. I wanted to score at least one touchdown before we called it quits. Running at full speed, I tried to push my way through him and past the boundaries we made. Embry caught me with ease around my waist, spinning the both of us around. We laughed hysterically and gasped for breath as we let our circles stop.

We played a few more rounds of cards after that. Rummy, Old maid and goldfish were our games- each turning out to be more loads of fun since from when we were kids.

"Hey Embry, your shift," Quil said interrupting our games.

"You're early, we still have 10 minutes." Embry said a bit confused.

"I was let out early to come and get you- so you can be on time and everything." Quil said with a small smirk.

Embry let out a huff and he showed me his hand. Shoot, I had almost been rummied.

"Maybe next time," Embry said giving me a wink as he noticed my shocked face. We had only been playing the new hand of the game for about 5 minutes now and he had almost his whole hand complete.

"You're ridiculous," I said to him as he got up from the couch.

"Or just amazing at rummy," he smirked. Rolling my eyes, I held back a laugh and began cleaning up.

"He cheats," Quil said coming further into the garage.

"Do not!" Embry exclaimed.

"That's what I thought too! But hell, I even shuffled the deck and he still beat me." I told Quil. Maybe Embry did something when I wasn't looking.

Quil narrowed his eyes at Embry.

"I do not cheat!" Embry said.

"Sure," I said skeptically, teasing him with my tone of voice. He rolled his eyes and smiled at me.

"I should get going but Bella- it was fun. I liked whooping your ass in football and rummy."

"Stupid werewolf gifts," I muttered. Both the boys laughed and I smiled a bit. "And you didn't necessarily win in rummy yet. Our game was interrupted and called off."

"I beat you in the five sets we just played a few minutes ago, you really don't think I get bragging right to that yet?" he asked slightly joking.

"It was four games, and no. I could have still made a comeback. Hell, this right here could have been my game," I told him as the deck sat in front of me on the sofa cushion.

"Okay Bells," he laughed.

"And I believe I won in slapjack and building a card tower," I reminded him teasingly. He let out a groan and my smirk grew. That was right, I still had bragging rights over that. Embry and I teased each other a bit more before he really had to go. He could see Jake coming out of the forest from his shift and he knew he was going to be late.

"So cards and football huh?" Quil asked me referring to my afternoon with Embry. "And snacking on some food from the kitchen. We had a pretty successful day if I do say so myself," I smiled proudly. He let out a laugh at my words as Jake came in.

"What did I miss?" my best friend wondered.

"Just that I am amazing. Super reflexes in slap jack and I have some mad skills when it comes to making card towers- that's right, you have an amazing friends" I joked talking about myself.

Jake let out a chuckle and rolled his eyes. "What great talents there Bells."

"They are amazing aren't they?" I said, fake swooning over myself to make them laugh. Their chuckles filled the air again and my heart felt uplifted even more. I loved making them laugh- in fact, I loved making everyone laugh. It was good to see smiles spread across their face.

It was around eleven when I finally walked in the front door. Charlie had kept the living room light on, but other than that, the house was silent.

"Hey kiddo," a voice said.

I gasped in surprise and looked up. Charlie was leaning against the banister looking down at me.

"Hey," I said relieved it was just him.

"Have fun?" he asked.

"A lot," I said smiling.

"I see you got your stuff in," he said watching me as I came up the steps.

"I did," I said a bit more cautiously. If he saw that, then he knew I wasn't fully unpacked.

"You still thinking about going to stay Aunt Betty?" he asked reading my facial expression.

Shrugging my shoulders, I felt slightly guilty. I was, but I wasn't sure I should tell him that. I mean, its not like I was sure anyways, so why get his hopes down?

"Bells, I know it has been a bit hard here since you came, with Sam imprinting on you and all, but-"

"Dad, its not about that," I sighed. It wasn't right? "I just want to keep my options open. I'm not even sure about anything yet."

"You don't have to hide things from me Bells," Charlie said.

"I know," I said in a short tone. He gave me a look but I couldn't seem to meet it. Giving me a kiss on the head, he said his goodnights and went to bed.

I exhaled loudly, now slumping my shoulders a bit. I didn't want Charlie to think I was ungrateful- that wasn't it at all. I was beyond happy when he said he would take me in. I just wasn't sure if this place was for me. All of this supernatural stuff- all I wanted to do was live a normal life.

Changing and brushing my teeth, I took one last look at myself in the mirror and shut off the light. Crawling into bed, I stared up at the ceiling wondering what I was supposed to do next.

I woke up late the next day, shooting up from bed with a hand on my neck. The dream was different this time. Instead of seeing my mom hanging from a ripped up sheet on the pull up pole, it was me. It felt so real- it was like I could feel the cloth around my neck.

"Bella?" A voice called behind the door. Slowly it opened and I was faced with Charlie.

"You okay?" he asked concerned as he looked at me.

"Yea," I said shakily, letting my hand go from my neck.

"I thought I heard you crying," he said.

"No, im okay," I said weakly. My dreams were getting worse. Not only was I waking up with a start, but now I was feeling things and letting out cries.

"Alright, well its almost 2 o'clock. I was going to take you over to Clearwater's house a little early to introduce you to some people before the bon fire," he said still analyzing me.

"Okay," I rasped out.

"You wanna get ready, maybe eat something, and then we can leave here around 4?" he asked.

"Sure," I said nodding, not looking at him.

"Okay," he said awkwardly. After a few seconds of silence, he gave me a small smile and left my room, shutting the door behind him.

When he was finally gone, I pulled my hair away from my face and caught my breath. What was going on? My eyes slowly shut and I let out a sharp breath. Flashes of my dreams were still haunting my mind. Why was everything getting worse? What was with this? Sliding a hand over my chest, almost near my heart, I felt this weird aching sensation. It was like I had heartburn, but I could tell it was nothing like that.

I rubbed my chest and sat there thinking. It felt uncomfortable and I couldn't shake it. Was I on the verge of a heart attack or something?

Sticking my hands out in front of me, I watched them shake like they had a mind of their own. I squeezed them together tight, trying to get control over my own body. I hated when these tremors happened. Glancing to the left, my eyes caught the window that my drapes hid. The sun had been shinning through the cracks of the drapes and I wondered what it looked like outside today.

It clicked in my head right then. I knew why I was having these pains in my heart. It was the imprint. I was feeling the repercussions of it. They were bound to get worse in due time.

"Bells?" Charlie called.

"Yea!" I yelled back getting out of bed. It was Charlie's warning call. To make sure I was up and not passed out or anything. I guess I would need to think everything over another time.

Grabbing some clothes, I quickly pulled my toiletries together and padded down the hall to the bathroom.

Turning the silver handle, I let the water get hot before getting in the shower. Why was everything getting so complicated?

Stripping off my clothes, I grabbed my shampoo and body wash and got in the shower. The water poured against my skin, burning it with pleasure. Letting out a content sigh, I stood under the water for a few minutes. As I closed my eyes to stick my head under the fall, flashes hit my mind again. I staggered back and spit out some water. What had me so freaked out? Why was I still haunted by it all?

The shower seemed no longer pleasing after that. I was all tense and no longer relaxed. Taking the bottle of shampoo in my hand, I squeezed out the liquid and rubbed it into my hair. I couldn't close my eyes, I decided. If I didn't want to keep freaking myself out, I would no longer shut them.

After rinsing the soap out of my hair, I quickly washed my body. When I was done, I grabbed my fluffy towel, wrapping it around myself and stepped out of the shower. The bathroom was small- that was for sure. Sidestepping the toilet, I noticed my hair dripping down my shoulders onto the floor. Squeezing it onto the shower floor, I rung it out and let it air dry. My way back to my room was uneventful. I could hear Charlie in the kitchen reading the paper, with a beer probably in hand.

Not watching where I was going, I walked into my room and hit one of the unopened boxes I had yet to unpack. My drumsticks fell to the floor with a small bang. Kneeling down, I picked them up and smiled. I forgot I packed these up to bring. Setting them on the bed, I quickly put on a bra and some underwear to stand at my closet. What was I supposed to wear to a bonfire?

I pulled out some dark blue skinny jeans; my black tank top and flip-flops, and a plaid grey, burgundy and white three quarter length button up shirt to go over it. Slipping everything on, I sat back on my bed and held my drumsticks. Too bad I couldn't have brought my drum set.

Twirling them around in my fingers, I smiled at the feel. It was recognizable and felt good.

"Bella!" Charlie called. "You almost ready?"

"Yea!" I called down to him, dropping the wooden sticks. I still needed to put on some makeup and fix my hair. Quickly getting up from the bed, I stood at my dresser mirror and applied the little bit of makeup I knew how to do. From there, I grabbed the towel that sat on my bed and ran it through my hair.

Dry enough, I thought to myself. I put on my shoes and shut off my bedroom light.

"Let go," I told Charlie as I pranced down the stairs. We got into my car, him driving, and we left for the Clearwater's. Truthfully, I was a bit nervous to be going to this bon fire thing. I was going to be meeting more people, and personally, I sucked at names. I had just finally gotten the boys names right, and now I was going to learn more?

"Ready?" Charlie asked before getting out of the car.

"Yea," I said unsure.

"It will be fine," he said patting my leg and getting out.

"Right," I breathed to myself as I got out off the car too.

We walked around the house and to the back gate. There was a small white picket fence that surrounded the huge backyard. Trees were grown, big and tall, with lights strung all around. The yard was really pretty.

"Charlie!" a woman's voice called out in happy endearment.

"Hey Sue," he smiled coming to hug her. Watching there interaction, I thought I noticed something. Before I could bring it up, the woman turned to me and smiled brightly.

"You must be Bella," she said leaning over to hug me.

"Yes, hi," I said trying to be warm and friendly like her.

"I'm Sue, Sure Clearwater," she said clarifying.

"Seth's mom," I said putting the connection together.

"Yes, Seth and Leah."

"Leah…" I asked confused.

"My daughter," she said with another smile.

"Right," I said with a blush. I didn't know her other kid, nice Bella.

"Its okay," she said guessing what I was thinking. "She has yet to show her face to you. You probably haven't seen Seth enough to even know about her. No hard feelings."

"Thanks," I said with an embarrassed laugh. It still wasn't a very good excuse. I felt bad, "She sounds great."

"She has her moments," Sue joked with a laugh. Charlie and I chuckled before being ushered further into the backyard.

So far, it was just Harry, Quil Sr., who were both standing near the back door talking with each other, Sue, who went back in the house, Seth, who was still stringing up decorations, and my dad and I who were walking in the yard to meet people.

"Bella, this is Harry," Charlie said with a hand on my back. I stuck my hand out for him to shake, "Seth and Leah's dad," he added.

"Nice to meet you sir," I said with a smile.

"Very nice to meet you too Bella. I heard a lot about you. You seem like a great girl."

"Thank you," I said with another blush. God, what was happening today?

"This is Quil Sr.," Charlie introduced again. The man actually looked a lot like Quil, except older of course. He stood with a red cup of beer in his hand, a jolly expression on his face.

"Bella," he said with a friendly smile. We shook hands, and stood there.

"So how are you liking Forks Bella?" Harry asked.

"Really good," I said trying my best to push my funk away. I plastered on a smile and tucked some hair away around my ear. "Its a lot different than Florida, but just as nice as I remember it."

"Well you are lucky, we have had pretty decent weather this year," Quil Sr. smiled.

"Yea, can you believe the sun has been actually out today?" Charlie asked the men. They all laughed, alongside me, who was forcing out a little laugh. The men mostly continued to talk on from there. Sticking my hands in my back pockets, I found Seth a few yards away.

"Excuse me," I said with a hand on my dad's upper arm. I nodded over to Seth and they all smiled.

"Hey," I called out to Seth who was up in a tree.

"Hey Bella," he said.

"Need any help?" I questioned.

"Nah, my mom just wants these all strung up on both trees. She thought everything should look nice for you- like a welcome or something."

"Oh, well it looks…good." I said holding back a laugh as he was struggling a bit.

"Trust me, this isn't happening every bon fire." He said now getting himself tangled in the lights.

"Here Seth," I said laughing. "Drop the lights," I commanded.

Doing as I wish, he dropped the long string of white lights. Rolling them up in a nice long oval, I guided him along as he wrapped them around the tree.

"Nice work," I said as he jumped down.

"That went a lot faster than the last one," he said. I let out a giggle and shook my head. Men.

"So who's supposed to come to this whole shin-dig?" I asked. No one really told me anything, other than that I had to go.

"Everyone," he said.

"Everyone?" I asked. He wasn't going to clarify that.

"Yup, pretty much. All of the elders, their spouses and children, then there's us, the wolves, and their imprints," he murmured.

"So why is this such a big thing?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Its not I guess, but we hold these things just to remind us of family. It's a nice get together. There's food, fun, and we enjoy each others company."

"Wow, I've never been to one of these before," I said bluntly.

He looked over at me. "You've never been to a bonfire?"

I rolled my eyes and shoved him a bit. He was giving me a look like I was weird.

"No," I laughed, "I have. But the bon fires I have been to were more like red cups scattered all over the beach, tons of kegs and people drinking, and then the part where the object of the night is to get totally drunk off your ass and then go home with someone else to get laid."

"Oh," he said with a laugh. "Well that's interesting."

I nodded and looked all around. Their backyard was just so pretty.

"So have you actually… you know…gone home with someone else?" he pushed out.

Bumping my arm with his I winked at him and spoke, "wouldn't you like to know," before walking off.

I went into the house finding my way to the kitchen. The Clearwater's house had somewhat of a similar layout to Charlie's place.

"Need any help?" I questioned to the woman.

"Bella!" she said in her cheery tone again. "Would you just mind setting some of these bowls out onto the snack table?" she asked.

"Sure," I smiled walking in to grab some. With my hands full I lightly kicked the backdoor open and walked down the steps. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Sam and Emily walking through the white picket fence gate opening. My body tensed and I quickly set the food down on the table. It slipped my mind I would be seeing them.

"Hey Harry," Sam greeted to the man who was now standing at the other side of the house. I could feel Sam's eyes on me and tried my hardest to pull myself away from the table. It was only a matter of time before I had to face the two of them again.

Sam and Emily continued to greet the adults, as I stood stiff at the long table.

"Yo Bella!" Seth shouted. I turned my head around and looked at Seth in another tree. He held up the tangled lights and I let out a small laugh. Backing away from the table, I stood under the big mass of wood and waited for him to drop the long sting.

"Thanks," I said softly. I knew he would be able to hear me. A wolf perk, Embry would call it.

"No biggy. It looked like you needed it."

"Seth," a woman called, walking towards us.

"Mom wants you to start the grill," she said.

"Dad can't do it?" he asked."

"I don't know," she snapped. "You aren't done with those yet?" she asked with hands on her hips. She watched him go from branch to branch swinging the lights.

"Not yet," he said with an eye roll as he continued. She huffed and rolled her eyes too.

"You must be Bella," she said now noticing me.

"Leah," she said shaking my hand.

"Nice to meet you," I said with a smile. She reciprocated with a nod and then looked back up at Seth.

"Are you almost done?" she asked.

"Yea, give me a few minutes."

"Fine," she said in annoyance. "I'll get dad to start the grill."

Seth let out a grunt as she walked off. "And hey, Seth?" she called.

"What?" he said frustrated.

"That tree looks like crap." She said pointing over to the one he did before I got here. I looked up and bit back a smile. My eye caught Sam's before as I turned to look back at Leah and my face fell. He should be paying attention to Emily, not me.

"We can redo it," I told Seth as I turned my back to Sam.

"Easy for you to say," he huffed as he jumped down from the tree. We walked over to the one he did solo; ready to redo his awful looking work. As he climbed up to the top of it, I followed the cord of lights to the plug.

"Here, I got it," a voice called out handing me the end of the string.

"Thanks," I murmured softly looking away. I grabbed the plug as quick as I could from his hands.

"Ho-how have you been?" Sam asked following me back to the tree.

"Fine, you?" I asked not looking back at him.

"Could be better," he spoke. I let out a sigh and tried to ignore his words. I knew what he was trying to say.

"Bella-" he started.

"Go ahead!" I yelled to Seth, cutting off Sam to tell Seth he could start unraveling the lights.

"I'm sorry I brought her," he said to me.

I let out a breath and tried to ignore him.

"She found out and wanted to go. And I couldn't just-"

Glancing up at Seth, I saw him looking at me, silently telling me it was okay if I left him. Nodding, I quickly took off away from the tree.

"Go away Sam," I said as he followed me again.

"We really need to talk," he said.

"You keep saying that," I gritted out, snapping my head back to look at him as I went up the back stairs. Our eyes met, and I felt my body starting to mellow out.

"But its not going to happen," I pushed out before the effects of the imprint could do anything else. I rushed into the house, going straight to the kitchen hoping there were some more food bowls I could set out.

"You need to understand," he said standing right next to me.

"I don't need to do anything," I said shoving two big colored bowls of munchies in his chest.

"Why wont you just stop and listen?" he pleaded with a bit of an edge to his voice.

"Because there is nothing to listen to. I told how everything has to play out. Don't keep making this worse," I warned to him as I led us back to the backyard.


	4. Chapter 4

When I came back out to the snack table, Jake and Billy had arrived.

"Jake," I said with relief. Practically running away from Sam, I headed for him and Billy.

"You okay?" Jake whispered in my ear.

"All good." I told him burying my face in his shoulder. I pulled myself back together within a few seconds of hugging my best friend and went to Billy.

"Bella," the old man smiled.

The three of us talked for a little while before they had to go say hi to everyone else. On that note, I went back to check on Seth and found him with a string full of lights raveled into a rope around his arm.

"Learning the tricks of the trade huh?" I questioned to the tree climber.

"Starting to," he smirked down at me.

"Need me to do anything?" I asked now just standing there.

"You're welcome to watch," he said teasingly flirting with me. I let out a laugh with him and rolled my eyes.

"You wish wolf boy."

* * *

><p>"And look what the cat dragged in," I said aloud as the mystery person covered my eyes with his warm hands.<p>

"I'm stronger than a cat," Embry justified.

"Not a really big one," I told him, turning around with a smile.

"Pshh, I could kick the cats ass in a second." He said with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes. "Alright, next time I'll say dinosaur instead of cat."

"Who says I couldn't beat up a dino?" he joked.

"Keep dreaming," I said patting his shoulder before he hugged me.

After Embry's grand entrance, Paul came with his mom Charlotte, Quil arrived with a little girl named Clair, Jared came with his imprint Kim, and Collin and Brady showed up.

"So you are Ms. Bella Swan," a woman said coming up to me with a drink in her hand. Extending my own hand she quickly shook it.

"I'm Charlotte, Paul's mom, but please call me Letty."

"Very nice to meet you Letty," I said with a smile as I stood by Embry and Quil.

"Boys," Letty said with a small acknowledgement.

"So what's it like being here? Enjoying yourself?" she asked.

"Very much so. It's different than Florida, but I'm becoming accustom to it."

"I heard your Sam's imprint. Must be hard since he brought another girl and all," she said with a small, barely detectable slur in her words. She took a huge gulp of her drink.

I let my mouth gape open a bit. How was I supposed to respond to that? Embry and Quil were both open mouthed along side me so I looked over to anyone behind Letty to help me out. Sam was looking at me again, but had a bit of the deer in the headlights expression on him.

Emily quickly turned his attention back to her and then looked to see who had captured it. When she saw me, she glared a bit and went back to her own conversation. Charlie was talking with Sue and Leah, and Jake and the rest of the boys were out getting firewood.

"How did you wind up here anyways? You have a mother don't you? Did she send you off here or something? How is Florida as good as this place? I mean come on…"

"Mom!" Paul said rushing over to us. He shot me an apologetic look and then guided her away by the shoulders.

Everyone was looking at me, which made me feel flush. From Jake, to Charlie, Emily to Sam; all eyes seemed to be on me. Murmurs started to fill the air again and I let out a breath.

"Well that was wonderful," I said sarcastically while taking a sip of my drink.

"Could have been worse," Quil said giving me a pointed look.

"Very true," I breathed. I should definitely be counting my blessings right about now. As I stood around, my thoughts of Paul's mom made me think. She asked the questions everyone was probably wondering too. Drunk or not, she definitely said what was on peoples mind.

"I'm sorry about that Bella," Paul said coming back into the yard after dropping his mom home.

"Its okay, not a big deal."

"I know, but it is. I should have been watching her more carefully and-"

"Paul its okay. I see the signs," I whispered to him.

He stared at me and I bit my lip. Letty was an alcoholic, just like my mom once was. "I've went through it too. So it's no sweat. She didn't do anything bad or cause any damage. She spoke her mind, which was probably the same thing that was on everyone else's. So please, don't feel bad."

"I thought she would be better today. She said she would try," he whispered sadly.

"It happens," I said with a shrug. I took a deep breath. "I think deep down inside they really do want to change, it's just so hard because the opportunity is right there, sitting in front of their face."

"It will get better," I said with a hand on his shoulder. "I'll even help you out- give you some tricks of the trade," I winked.

"Your mom?" he asked cautiously. I bit my lip and slowly nodded my head. I knew Embry and Quil were standing right by me listening to our conversation.

"It went on for a few years, but it got better when I was older. As I learned more and picked up some more, the ideas of finding her help increased."

"And it worked?" he asked with hope.

"For the most part," I told him putting my head down. Before anyone could say anything else, Harry called all of the boys over. I didn't know why or what they were doing, but they all made their exit to whatever they were doing and went over to Harry.

"Its an elder thing," Charlie said coming to stand next to me. We looked over at the boys together and I nodded.

"He is telling them how fortunate they should be- to have family and friends surround them- and also a small thank you for keeping us all safe."

"They do this every time?" I asked.

"Almost," he said looking back at me. "You okay?" he asked me when I was silent.

"Yea," I whispered, staring into my drink.

"Paul really tries to bring her around- get her out of the house. Most of the time he doesn't even bring her," Charlie said referring to Letty. "He really means it when he is sorry Bells," he said softly.

"I know," I said matching his tone," I told him it wasn't a big deal but he still feels guilty."

"His hope is crushed." Charlie explained. "Look Bells, Letty is an…"

"I know," I told him cutting him off. "Mom was too. I saw the signs when she was talking to me. They were faint, but still there."

"Renee was…" Charlie said shocked.

"Yea, a few months after we left here. She was pretty bad."

"How long did it last?" he questioned.

"A few years," I said still ashamed. If I had got her help sooner, she would have been better earlier.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

"You didn't need to know that dad," I said glancing up at him.

"Bella, of course I did! I-"

"She hid it well." I said cutting in. "There were only a few times it got bad, and I knew what to do. Dad, I may have been a kid when it happened, but I could still figure out what to do and point out the signs."

He had this look on his face, like he failed me.

"And you didn't fail me, so don't think that." I said practically reading his mind. He looked at me surprised. "You're not that hard to read. I know how you feel."

"I just wish-"

"It happened," I said laying it all down. "She did what she did and what's done is done."

He brought me in his arms and kissed my head. I enjoyed my dad's comfort, after having not received it today. Closing my eyes for a quick second, I jumped a bit when I felt Renee's dead body coming to life in my eyes.

"You okay?" he asked worried as he pulled me out of his arms.

"Yea," I said shakily. The boys came back from their little group session, and Jake came walking up to us.

"You okay?" he asked reading my face.

"Yea," I said softly putting up my walls. He nodded and then began talking about everything that went on.

"Come on, bon fire time," he said as everyone started to gather at the pit of the fire.

"So what now?" I asked wondering if we do anything special.

"We roast marshmallows," he said putting one on a stick with a smirk. I let out a laugh and looked for the bag. I saw that Emily had it, who was sitting on the log across from us with Sam at her side.

"Here," she said almost shoving the bag at me.

"Thanks," I said softly. I sat back down with Jake and put my white blob on the stick. I didn't dare look at Sam the rest of the time around the fire. It was hard not too, but I knew at the same time, pawning over the guy I told to stay away from me would not help.

"You need anything?" Jake asked getting up to get more firewood with most of the guys.

"No, im good," I said with a smile. He nodded to me and I turned back to the fire. The flames dance around and warmed my face.

"I'll be back," Emily smiled patting Sam's leg. She gave him a long kiss on the lips and I pulled my eyes away. It was just Sam and I sitting across from each other now, the fire slowly dying between us.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," Sam told me.

"You shouldn't be ashamed of it." I replied.

"But you know I am," he said. I kept my mouth shut after that. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say. I know? It doesn't matter? I know it hurts?

"So Bella," Emily said coming back from the bathroom. She sat down in Sam's lap, wiggling in his lap with a mischievous smile. Feeling the need to barf, I stared down at the burning wood. "Having a good time?"

"Very," I said briefly looking up at her.

"What Paul's mom said to you must have hit home huh?" she asked. Sam gave her a look and squeezed her in warning.

"It was okay. She was just curious."

"Yet Paul whisked her away real quick." She said with a daring look.

"Emily," Sam said silently telling her to stop.

"That was his choice. He thought she was overstepping her boundaries."

"Was she?"

"Emily," Sam said more forcefully.

"What?" she asked in a loving tone to him. "I am just asking her questions sweetheart. Nothing to get you all twisted up about."

He gave me a sorry look but I just shook it away.

"So did it bother you?" she asked bluntly.

"Why is it any of your business?" I snapped.

"Oh, well I guess it did," she said with a laugh. I gave her and Sam a look and got up.

"Well there goes being friendly," Emily said a bit loudly.

I balled my hands into fists and clenched my jaw together. It took all of my will power to not turn back around and yell in her face.

Making my feet move, I walked to where Jake left to find firewood.

"Hey," I said as he appeared out of the woods with a load of branches. "I think I am going to go home."

"Party just started," he said. "You haven't even heard the stories yet."

"I know, im just…not feeling too well." I told him.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "You're lying."

"No im not," I said with my hands in my back pockets. He went over to the bon fire, which was the last place where I wanted to be, and put the wood in the flaming fire.

"Don't go home yet," he pleaded.

"Jake, it's getting late. I have things to do and…its just time for me to go home."

"Well what about your dad? How are you going to get home? I know Sue wont let him leave."

"I'll walk," I said weakly. I really didn't feel like having this conversation in front of Emily and Sam.

"Bella," Jake sighed.

"Its my fault Jake," Emily cut in, giving Sam's cheek a kiss. "I brought up her home town. It must be a sore subject for her."

My jaw set once again. I was right here.

"Jake, im leaving," I told him. He gave me those puppy dog eyes and I sighed.

"Jake if the girl wants to go, she can. I mean, she is a bit of an outcast here anyways," Emily muttered towards the last part.

Jakes head snapped to hers and he went stiff. Sam reprimanded her girlfriend but she just brushed it off with an eye roll.

"Did you want me to walk you home?" Jake asked.

"No, im okay," I said with a small forced smile.

"Bella, it's dark out. It can be dangerous," Sam said to me. Emily tugged on his arm.

"Sam, this is their conversation, don't butt in."

"How about both of you butt out of my conversation?" I snapped to the couple. Getting fed up, I just walked away not even caring.

"Well that was rude," I heard Emily say to the men as I walked away.

"Tell my dad I left," I told Embry as I passed him at the entrance of the backyard.

* * *

><p>I was about 20 minutes past the La Push line when I hear twigs snap. Freezing, I looked over to my right and wondered what it was. As the noise continued, my heart thudded harder against my chest.<p>

"Crap," a voice said.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hello?" the voice called.

A man came out of the woods and I stepped back surprised. He had gold eyes and was buff. He gave me a friendly smile and rubbed the back of his neck.

"You haven't seen a little black puppy dog around here have you?" he questioned.

"No," I said looking at him oddly.

"Great," he huffed.

"May I ask why you are looking for a dog out here this late?"

"Potty training," he said. "I was trying to surprise my wife with a dog for her birthday so I am secretly potty training him, and well, I sort of lost him."

I let out a laugh. "Oh, I see."

"I found him!" a voice rang. Out came a shorter girl with golden eyes too. She was dressed real nice; a lot of jewelry to match too and looked like she had her hair done by a professional.

"Hi, im Alice," she said sticking her hand out. "This is Emmett," she said referring to the big guy.

"Bella," I said shaking both their hands. They were ice cold.

"Here you go," She said passing the pup to Emmett. "Next time, don't leave the dog outside while you check the score of the game," she scolded.

"It was only for a second!" he exclaimed.

Alice shook her head and then turned to me with a smile. "So Bella, what are you doing out here?"

"Walking home," I said nodding over to my path.

"Oh, you don't have a car?"

"Nope, just my feet." I laughed.

"Well, our house is just up the road if you ever wanted to come visit."

"Cool, thanks," I said. They seemed really nice.

"Alice, Emmett!" someone called.

"Here Edward!" Alice rang. He came out from the woods just like they did.

"Rose is wondering where you guys are."

"Oh!" Alice said.

"Hi," the guy said now looking at me.

"Hi, Bella Swan."

"Oh! You're the chief's daughter!" Alice said happily.

"That's me," I said with a small smile. Was she always this excited?

"Edward," the copper head guy said shaking my hand. Like the other two, he also had golden eyes and cold skin.

"Aww shit," I said pulling the puzzle pieces together. His eyebrows furrowed and Alice and Emmett looked to him.

"What?"

"Ummm nothing, I should get going," I said rushed. If they were vampires, that meant I was in trouble. But why haven't they killed me when they had the chance?

"Are you okay?" Emmett said to me with the puppy in his hands.

"I know what you guys are," I said backing away. "Stay away from me." I warned.

They looked at me stunned. "How do you know?" Alice called out to me as I continued to back away.

"We wont hurt you," Edward said. "We aren't like that."

"Yes you are," I said sure of it.

"You're thinking of the red eyed people," Emmett said. I stopped and furrowed my eyebrows. Was I? Was that how the legends went? It was such a long time ago I couldn't remember everything.

"You're a Swan. So your dad knows everything right? He's friends with Billy Black," Edward guessed.

"Way to be creepy Edward," Alice scolded. Edward rolled his eyes. "We have a treaty with them. We don't go over La Push border and all of that stuff. I'm surprised you didn't know this." He continued.

"I've only been here a few days and I was pretty young when the legends were first told to me."

Edward nodded accepting the answer. "We wont hurt you," he said stepping closer to me. "You have my word on that."

I let out a breath. After Edward explained a bit more about the treaty and themselves, I oddly didn't feel in danger with them. "Okay."

"So, red eyes is bad, gold eyes are…"

"Not as dangerous," Edward supplied. "We eat animals."

"Please don't tell me you are going to eat that puppy," I said referring to what Emmett was holding

"No," he said laughing a bit. "Just a gift." After that, we talked a little more and they introduced me to their house. Now everyone reading this must think im crazy, but I swear im not. For some reason, I did trust these people. They showed me no harm. We walked up to their house, which was huge and very beautiful I might add, and they took me around.

"Edward, Alice, who is this?" a man questioned.

"Carlisle, this is Bella Swan." He said introducing me.

"Bella, wow this is a shock. I always assumed you were…La Push property. No offense," he added at the end. I looked at him strangely.

"You are affiliated with the wolves of La Push, yes?" he asked.

"Yea, I know them but I wouldn't consider myself property of them," I told him. Before he could try and fix what he said, a woman came up to us alongside Carlisle.

"Bella Swan," I said introducing myself before she could ask.

"Bella?" she said just as shocked. Carlisle whispered a hushed scolding, "Esme."

"Why is everyone so surprised by my company?" I asked towards Edward.

"Because you are human and hang out with those pack of mutts in La Push," a woman said at the top of the stairs. I looked up and gaped at her. She was gorgeous- like drop dead gorgeous.

"Rose," Edward said warningly.

"Just stating it how it is," she said.

"If im a bother to you, I can leave," I said not wanting to over step my boundaries.

"No, not at all dear, we are just surprised," Esme said. The girl, Rose, rolled here eyes and made her way down the stairs.

"Come on, I will show you around," Edward said looking back at me. We got to the main platform of the house and it took my breath away. Everything was decorated like it was out of a magazine.

"Esme has talent." He said watching my reaction.

"Damn straight," I whispered. He let out a chuckle as I circled myself taking it all in. From there, he showed me upstairs, everyone's bedroom, the study, and the kitchen.

"You have a piano?" I said peering through the doorway. "And the drums?"

"We do," Edward said. I went back into the main room, finding I must have missed both of them when I was looking at everything.

"Anyone in the house play?" I asked.

"The piano or drums?" he asked.

"Either or," I said walking to the piano.

"I do," he said casually as I sat down.

"Play for me?" I asked. Rose came by, sounding disgusted as she went down the hall.

"Another time," he told me.

"She doesn't like me does she?" I asked Edward, looking where Rose once was.

"She likes you, she's just jealous."

"Jealous?" I asked like he was crazy. "She's the most beautiful walking, human looking, person on this earth and she is jealous of me?" I asked astounded.

Edward laughed again. "She's jealous of you because you are human. Her humanity was stolen."

"Oh," I said shutting up. I guess she would have a reason to be jealous.

"Give her some time- she comes around."

"Right," I said skeptically. I turned back to the piano and ran my hands over the keys.

"You play?" he asked.

"Used to," I said pressing down a key. "Mind if I give it a shot?"

"Not at all," he said holding out his hand to go ahead. I played a few keys and started smiling. I remembered. Playing a tune, I beamed at how fast it was coming back to me.

"You pick up quick," Edward said as I ended my song.

"I guess so," I smiled up at him. "Well, I should probably get home."

"You need a ride?" he asked.

"No, im good," I said sticking my hands in my back pockets. He led me back downstairs and opened the door for me. "It was nice meeting you Bella."

"You too Edward. Tell your family I said thank you for the nice hospitality. And…tell Rosalie im sorry."

"You're sorry?" he repeated confused.

I nodded. "Yea, im sure it was hard for her to withstand me when I am in your house and all. I didn't want to offend her in any way."

He let out a breath and looked at me amazed.

"Night," I smiled walking off the porch. The door shut a few seconds later and within 10 minutes, I was home. Charlie was still out, so I headed upstairs and got ready for bed.

* * *

><p>The next morning, I woke up in a less startled wake. Sure I still shot up in bed and was shaking like a leaf, but it was back to the usual nightmares and I was thankful for that.<p>

Charlie left me a note saying he went to work on the table. So instead of wasting my day grumbling, I ate some breakfast and took a shower.

_Hope your coming over today_ my phone rang with a text. It was Alice. I let out a laugh and texted her back.

_Sure, as long as I can try out those drums I saw yesterday._

_You're on, but then we need some girl time_ she replied.

_Deal._ I texted and shut my phone. I drove my truck to the Cullen's house and was beyond excited.

Getting out of my car, I saw a guy sitting outside already waiting for me.

"Jasper, we didn't meet earlier," he said holding his hand out. "Nice to meet you," I said smiling.

"Alice had me waiting out here for you. She was putting something together for you."

"Any clue what it is?" I asked.

"Knowing my wife? It could be anything." He chuckled. Smiling at his words, my head leaned to the side.

"You guys are married?"

"Going on our 65th anniversary," he said proudly. I let out a giggle. That sounded really strange.

"So who else is?" I asked him.

"Emmett, the really big guy, and Rosalie are," he said. "And of course Esme and Carlisle. They are like our parental figures even though we are over a hundred some years old."

"Well, parents are always good to have," I smiled.

"How about you?" he asked.

"Me? Married. No. I'm a little too young don't you think?" I joked.

He laughed. "I meant are you seeing anyone? Have any parents?"

"I have Charlie, but other than that everything else gets kind of complicated," I said biting my lip.

"Acceptable," he said not pushing me. We made it to the drum set and I grinned.

"Go for it," he said.

I sat down and picked up the sticks. The rush I felt was exhilarating. Hitting the drums a bit, I began gathering a beat. Words were popping into my head and now my smile went to a full-blown grin.

"I have never seen anyone that happy to play the drums before," Emmett said now standing next to Jasper. "And I own them," he joked.

"Hey, do you guys have any paper?" I asked the two.

"Sure," Jasper said quickly blurring off to get some. He came back with a rush and I pulled back a bit. Wow they were fast.

I took the paper and pencil from him and began writing. The beat still played in my head a bit. From there, I bit the pencil in my mouth and picked up the sticks again. I came up with more and more till I was starting to get a full song.

"What's going on here?" Esme asked popping in.

"Bella's writing a song," Jasper said to her.

"Lets here it Bella bean!" Emmett cheered on. I gave a laugh at his nickname for me and blushed.

"Its not really…"

"Oh please," Alice chimed as she danced into the room. "The drums sounded awesome. And im sure you have talent. Lets hear it!"

"I can't sing," I said. "I really can't sing to save my life."

"Doubtful," Alice smiled out.

"But even if you don't think you cant, we won't judge." Esme said scolding Alice a bit with a look.

I let out an embarrassed laugh and nodded. I set the pencil on the floor and picked up the sticks while the paper stayed in my lap.

"It's like watching an artist at work," Emmett said.

Everyone laughed a bit, including me. As I hit the loud instrument, I began thinking of what the song would sound like.

**_("So Yesterday" by Hilary Duff)_**

_You can change your life - if you wanna_  
><em>You can change your clothes - if you wanna<em>  
><em>If you change your mind<em>  
><em>Well, that's the way it goes<em>

_But I'm gonna keep your jeans_  
><em>And your old black hat - cause I wanna<em>  
><em>They look good on me<em>  
><em>You're never gonna get them back<em>

_At least not today, not today, not today_  
><em>'cause<em>

_[Chorus:]_  
><em>If it's over, let it go and<em>  
><em>Come tomorrow it will seem<em>  
><em>So yesterday, so yesterday<em>  
><em>I'm just a bird that's already flown away<em>

_Laugh it off let it go and_  
><em>When you wake up it will seem<em>  
><em>So yesterday, so yesterday<em>  
><em>Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay<em>

_You can say you're bored - if you wanna_  
><em>You can act real tough - if you wanna<em>  
><em>You can say you're torn<em>  
><em>But I've heard enough<em>

_Thank you... you made my mind up for me_  
><em>When you started to ignore me<em>  
><em>Do you see a single tear<em>  
><em>It isn't gonna happen here<em>  
><em>At least not today, not today, not today<em>  
><em>'cause<em>

_[Chorus]_

_If you're over me, I'm already over you_  
><em>If it's all been done, what is left to do<em>  
><em>How can you hang up if the line is dead<em>  
><em>If you wanna walk, I'm a step ahead<em>  
><em>If you're moving on, I'm already gone<em>  
><em>If the light is off then it isn't on<em>  
><em>At least not today, not today, not today<em>  
><em>'cause<em>

_[Chorus 2X]_

My heart pounded in my chest as I waited for their reaction not only was I pouring my heart and thoughts out into the song, from what happened yesterday night with Sam, but pretty much everything else since I came here.

"That was amazing Bella," Jasper spoke.

"I told you you would be amazing," Alice said grabbing my hands.

"Thanks," I smiled, wondering where we were going.

"You are free to come here anytime Bella. You have an amazing gift." Esme said watching Alice drag me somewhere.

"Thank you Esme," I told her. She was fit to be a mom. I could already tell I was starting to look up to her as one.

"I think we should get an exclusive from Bella every time she comes here," Emmett shrugged. I let out a laugh, taking that as a compliment.

"Come on Bella!" Alice whined taking me upstairs.

"Where are we going?" I asked her as she dragged me along.

"To have a makeover," she chirped. My eyes went wide and my body protested.

"You're not getting out of this. Come on, we made a deal. Girl time remember? I have been waiting to do this all day. Please?" she asked with her bottom lip prodding out.

I let out a groan and gave in. She dragged me to her room and showed me her closet. It was huge! Not only was it a walk in, but it was like it had a life of its own. I had never seen so many clothes and accessories before.

She sat me down on her vanity in her room and walked into the place I now called the dungeon. She came out with piles of clothes for me to try on, and I went green.

"Hop to it!" she commqnded as she went back in to find some more.

Starting the torture, I began trying things on. She gave her voice of approval and disapproval. Finally after what seemed like hours, we finally agreed on something- a nice dark purple silky feeling short sleeve shirt, which was a little big (but I guess that was the style) and some black dark wash skinny jeans. From there, she put me into some short black high-heeled boots and a long silver chained necklace.

"Makeup time!" she called.

"Alice I don't really-"

"Don't worry, it will look natural," she said calming my fears. Letting her do her magic, she applied everything possible. Eyeliner, lip-gloss, blush, and a bunch of other things I didn't know.

"Now your hair," she said as I looked at the stranger in the mirror. Damn she was good.

She kept my hair naturally curly, which I was thankful for. Getting all of this off was not going to be fun tonight. Bringing out a big curling iron, she seemed to bring my hair to life- putting more bounce in my curls and color to my hair.

"How do you do it?" I questioned like it was magic.

"Years of practice, and I have some talent mixed in there somewhere," she said with a wink. "You look absolutely beautiful Bella," she gushed. Her comment reminded me of Rose, oh no!

"Oh no! Rose! I should leave," I told Alice standing up.

"She's fine," Alice said sitting me back down. "She heard what you said last night Bella and she felt really bad. So she went out hunting with Edward to clear her head."

"Oh, okay." I said. I didn't want her to feel bad. What I was said last night was all true.

"Bella!" Esme called. "You hungry?"

"Sure," I said walking out of Alice's room. I practically to the kitchen making sure I was far enough away from her room so she couldn't drag me back in there to do something else.

"Bella, you look stunning," Esme said smiling at me.

"Thanks," I smiled as she put a plate of macaroni and cheese in front of me.

"It's my first time cooking- but I heard it was an American favorite."

"It is," I said calming her fears. Taking a bite, I found it to be really good. "This is awesome Esme. Really nice job."

She grinned from ear to ear and put all of her pots and pans away as I ate. After that, I went back to the piano and played some chords.

"You making another song?" Alice asked. Esme gave her a confused look.

"What?" I questioned.

"I can see the future- it's my power, if you call it that." Alice said bluntly.

"Oh," I said stunned.

"For some reason, I can't see yours though." She huffed.

"…Do I not have one?" I asked a bit nervous. Why didn't I have a future?

She shook her head. "Oh no, its nothing like that. The future changes with every decision you make, so it's not definite or anything. Don't worry Bella. Yours is just different. It's actually blank. I mean, its there- I just cant see it for some reason."

"Oh good," I said with relief.

"Actually Edward cant read your mind either," she said thinking about it.

"Read my mind?" I asked with my eyes almost popping out of my head.

"Yea, he can do that. Weird right?" Emmett said coming into the room.

"I can read her emotions," Jasper said speaking to Alice.

"You can do what?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm what you call an empath," he explained. I let out another 'oh' and thought about all of that. So vampires had powers and wolves had abilities…how was all of this real again?

"Do you all have…powers?" I asked, finding the sentence somewhat funny.

"No, just me, Jasper and Edward," Alice said.

"Alrighty," I said turning back to the piano. Alice sat on the sofa still thinking of everything as I played.

Paper and a pencil whooshed in front of me and stopped to smile. "Thanks Emmett."

"Anything for Bella bean," he smirked, making me roll my eyes at the nickname. I stayed there a while longer till Carlisle came home. It was then that I realized it was dinnertime.

Quickly I said my goodbyes to all of them and looked to Alice, wondering where she hid my clothes so I could change out of her expensive ones.

"Keep them Bella," she kept telling me. "They look amazing on you. Please."

"Alice, I feel to bad. These are yours."

"Which are now yours," she said kindly. Giving up, I thanked her again and again and then went on my way back home to Charlie.

I walked into the door finding him on the phone.

"She's here, thanks Jake," he said.

"Hey dad," I said coming in.

"What are you wearing?" he asked. He looked up to see my face and was shocked.

"Like them?" I asked. I didn't bother taking off my shoes. They were too hard to take off and then put back on.

"Why on earth do you smell like vampire?" he questioned angrily as I passed by him.

"I was over at the Cullen's."

"Excuse me?" he asked following me into the kitchen. "Bella they are vampires!" he yelled.

"I know," I said putting a pan on the stove.

"You know and you went to their house?" he growled.

"Dad, they have golden eyes. They wouldn't hurt me," I told him. Why was he acting like this? Has he never seen them before?

"I don't care if they have purple eyes! Bella, you are not aloud to go over there ever again! How could you be so stupid?" he yelled.

"What? Dad, you are being unfair! I was fine. They are nice people!" I argued.

"Isabella Marie Swan don't you dare argue with me. Do you know what they eat? What they do to humans?" he asked. "You are lucky to be alive!"

"Dad! They don't eat humans!"

"And you don't think they have slipped up before?"

I went silent. "Who are you to judge?" I questioned softly.

"Bella," he huffed out. "I was a wolf, I know what those things are capable of."

"Whatever," I said walking out of the kitchen.

"We aren't done!" he said.

"Yes we are!" I yelled from the stairs. "You don't get to control who I see and who I don't dad. I am 19 years old. Do you really think I don't know how to take of myself by now?"

"Don't you dare walk away Isabella!" Charlie called to me again.

"Stop trying to act like mom!" I yelled out in anger. "Just because you call yourself my dad does not mean you get to dictate my life. You were gone for 10 years! I can figure out who is good and who is bad."

My eyes softened at my harsh words. They hit him deep, I could tell. "I like the Cullen's dad. They are nice people who have been nothing but nice to me. They offer me food and give me a place to hang around. And until they give me a reason otherwise, I will keep hanging out with them because they are my friends."

He just stared at me and I felt bad. I didn't want this to turn into something big. What was the problem with liking the Cullen's? He sauntered off back into the kitchen and I climbed up the rest of the stairs.

Sitting on my bed, I held back a scream. Today was the first day I was really having fun. I didn't need to depend on Jake or anyone else from the pack. This time, it was just me. I was content.

Checking my email, I found that my night class had been canceled for the night- now starting tomorrow instead of today. Sighing, I went back downstairs. Charlie had a pizza sitting on the table, already sitting in the living room.

A knock on the door stopped me from grabbing a slice. Walking over to answer it, I found a mad looking Jake.

"Please don't tell me it was actually true. You were with bloodsuckers?" he asked.

"Jake," I huffed rolling my eyes.

"Jeez Bella, you stink!" he said coming in.

"Thanks!" I said throwing my hands up. What a nice think to say to a girl.

"Come on Bella! Did you listen to anything we said last week? You were with a coven of fucking vampires!"

"Its not that bad!" I yelled at him while standing in the kitchen.

"Not that bad?" he questioned with furry in his eyes. "Bella, they could have had you for a snack! You wouldn't have lasted a second. And what do you think that would have done to us- to me?" he asked.

"Jake, you are over exaggerating," I said with a sigh.

"No im not!" he said now again frustrated. He put his hands on his head and pulled at his hair in anger.

"They don't eat people!" I said desperate for him to understand.

"They used to!" he said. "Why can't you see that! They used to eat people and it would not be hard for them to go back."

"They are nice people Jake," I told him sadly. I could see how disapproving he looked at me.

"So are we Bells," he said.

"I like them- I like getting to know them and spending time with them."

"Don't say that," Jake gritted out. "They are inhuman little fuckers," he spat.

"And you're a fucking dog!" I yelled back at him.

"I can't believe you are sticking up for them!" he yelled.

"I'm not!" I cried. "I'm sticking up for me! You don't get to tell me what to do! I get to make decisions for myself!"

"Fine Bella, then pick a side," he told me and then walked out of the house. Throwing my hands up in the air, I held back stomping my foot. What was with everyone?

Not feeling hungry anymore, I trudged up the stairs and back into my room. How could they be so narrow-minded? Why couldn't anyone see where I was coming from?

Glancing up at my wall above my desk, I found my bulletin board still held all of my drawings as a kid. Getting up, I began to take them all down. That was the past. I was no longer that person. I was older-smarter-more experienced with life.

Stuffing them all into a box, I piled them in there, taking everything from around my room from when I last came here, all fit inside.

A throat cleared at my doorway and I spun around to look at who it was.

"Great, not you too," I groaned to Sam.

"I'm probably the last person you want to hear anything from," He told me.

"You got that right," I said still angry from my dad and Jake.

He stepped into my room and sat on my bed.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Cleaning," I said closing the box.

"Looks more like stuffing things away," Sam said.

I turned around and looked at the dark haired man. "Did you need something?"

"Yes, your dad and Jake called me over," he said.

"Of course," I said aloud to myself.

"They are worried Bella. Vampires are a-"

"Don't even finish that sentence," I warned him. He immediately shut up. I ran a hand through my hair. Sam didn't deserve being snapped at- yet anyways. "I get that they are dangerous, and it was a risky thing to do, but they are nice people. They don't eat humans and haven't proven to be anything other than that. I understand that they can slip up, but I enjoy their company. And things can happen. I'm not one to judge."

"What if they were to slip up on you?" he questioned softly to me. I stayed quiet, not sure how to answer that. "You mean a lot to us Bella. Your father, Jake, Embry, Me" he said, saying the last part a bit shaky.

I held back an eye roll and picked up the box. Walking over to my closet, I went on my tiptoes to stash the box above me. Sam came over seeing I needed help, and pushed the box in its place.

"They are all just trying to show you how much they care- they are concerned about what you just did," he told me, standing only a few inches from me.

"I like them Sam," I said just as soft. "And I don't want to give that up just because you all say it is the right thing to do."

He sighed heavily and I shut my eyes, feeling his warm breath fan across the side of my face.

"I enjoy Alice's spunk and energetic ways." I told him with a smile. "I like how she makes me feel beautiful by just putting on nice clothes and some makeup. I find Emmett to be like a teddy bear and find him funny when he calls me by that silly nickname he made up for me. I like hanging around Edward because he enjoys talking to me and showing me new things. Esme is such a great person to be around because she is like the mother I never had- always concerned about my well being and making sure I am comfortable around them. Carlisle is great because he is so hospitable and kind. Jasper is so sweet and easy to talk to. He makes sure not to push his boundaries too far but isn't afraid to ask me a question. Hell, even Rosalie is comforting to be around. She seems to find _**me**_ to be the perfect one, when all I see is her and her unflawless personality and canning looks."

I ran a hand through my hair and went to sit on the edge of the bed. "Can't you see it Sam? They were all human once, just like us. They all have personality traits and have fallen in love. The only difference in them is that they are dead. They don't need to sleep and they have some awesome abilities. They drink blood and sparkle in the sunlight- but they still care. They still hear things and see things. They have compassion and can understand."

Sam walked over to me, taking my hand from my lap. When I opened my mouth to protest he said: "just wait." Taking my hand in his warm one, he set it over his heart. "Feel this?"

I nodded.

"This is what you and I have. This is what sets us different from them. We are alive Bella. We are living because it's our time to be alive. They are not. They have found a loophole and are literally nothing inside."

"But why should we punish them because of that?" I asked. "Why should we be the people who get to judge who is good and evil because of that?"

Sam sighed.

"The roles could be reversed Sam." I told him. "Why couldn't I start thinking that having a beating heart is bad? Why couldn't I start thinking that maybe wolves are bad because they kill too? They are built and meant to kill vampires. Killing is killing right? Your still doing the bad deed so why shouldn't I hate you too?"

"Bella," he said shocked and hurt.

"I'm just saying Sam," I said now moving my hand to his cheek. "I'm just saying that the roles can easily be reversed. As bad as it sounds, it's true. I want to be around all of you, but I want to be around them too. I'm not trying to push all of you away by doing so, but with everyone fighting on me on this, its making me push you all away."

"We just want what's best for you," he said looking up at me.

"I know what's best for me, and telling me I can't see them isn't it."

"Can we- can we just see for now?" he asked in pain. "I get what you are saying completely, I just- im torn Bells," he whispered.

"Yea," I sighed giving him a small smile. Dropping my hand I looked away. He got up and sat next to me on the bed.

"I'm glad you are okay," he whispered.

"I was always okay," I rebutted. He rolled his eyes and cupped the back of my neck, laying a kiss to my head. The place where his mouth touched now tingled and I could feel his body radiate off heat.

"Sorry," he said pulling away after realizing what he just did. I nodded, swallowing hard.

"What's this?" he asked referring to the white paper on my bed beside him.

"Oh!" I said realizing it was the lyrics I wrote today. "Nothing. Sam! Sam, give it back," I said reaching over him.

"Bella, what is this?" he asked reading.

I sighed, sitting back down next to him. Might as well let him read it all.

"Is this a song?" he questioned.

"Something like that," I muttered.

"This is good. Really good actually."

"Thanks," I said wishing he would just give it back.

"Did you make it or something? What was 'so yesterday'?" he asked not really getting it. I rolled my eyes snatching the papers back.

"You should probably get going," I told him. Emily was probably waiting for him.

"Bella I didn't mean-"

"Sam really. I think its time for you to leave. Thanks for making the trip up here though," I said dismissing him. I got up from the bed and stashed the lyrics away in my desk. He sighed loudly.

"It was good to see you Bella," he told me slowly walking out of my room.


	5. Chapter 5

After Sam left, I lay on my bed with some paper beside me and thought of some lyrics. I, of course didn't have a piano or drum set beside me, but I could always go over the Cullen's tomorrow.

The next morning I woke up with not a nightmare in sight. It must have been that I had too many things to think about that a nightmare just couldn't surface to my head. Going downstairs for breakfast, I found Charlie still sitting at the kitchen table with his uniform on.

"Why aren't you at work?" I questioned.

"I thought you and I should talk," he told me setting down his coffee and newspaper.

"Okay," I said curiously as I went to sit across from him with a glass of orange juice.

"I heard what you were saying to Sam last night." He started. "And I understand your point of view and your attachment," he said.

"Dad," I warned. He was making me sound like I was a little kid stuck to a stuffed bear or some addict addicted to a drug.

"I just don't want you getting hurt," he spoke cutting to the chase.

"I wont," I told him in a definite tone. Like I thought before, I trusted the Cullens. It was probably an odd thing to think but it was true.

"What the hell do you even do over there?" he asked with a twisted face.

"They have a drum set and piano." I smiled, "plus, Esme is a surprisingly good cook. She made the best Mac and cheese I have ever had in my life."

"Right," he said a bit oddly.

"So am I okay to go over there?" I asked.

"Maybe," he said picking back up his coffee and paper.

"Dad," I whined. Did we not just make progress?

"Bella, give your old man a few hours to think," he exclaimed tiredly.

"Fine," I huffed. Grabbing some toast, I headed upstairs to put on some clothes.

"Where are you going?" he called.

"To the beach," I said. If I wasn't cleared to go to the Cullen's yet, I wanted to go somewhere else.

After pulling my swim suit on and some clothes over it, I took my papers I was working on last night and grabbed a towel.

I gave Charlie a kiss, understanding where he was coming from too. I felt bad for what I said last night. And his efforts of trying to accept I wanted to spend time with the Cullens made me happy inside. He was trying- so I was going to too. Driving past the La Push boundaries, I quickly high tailed it for the beach. It was a nice day out again- nicer than yesterday. The sun was shining brightly and it actually felt somewhat warm out.

Settling into a spot, I read over my lyrics, trying to hum out a tune. I worked on it for hours trying to come up with the right rhythm to fit my words.

"Bella?" a voice called.

I turned, finding Embry walking towards me.

"Hey!" I said smiling up at him.

"What are you doing out here?" he questioned.

"Getting away from the house and the man in it. I'm sure you heard about my affiliation to the other side," I said rolling my eyes.

"Yea," he said sitting beside me. "Nice move by the way. I'm pretty sure you gave all the wolves a scare."

I winced at his words. That was not my intentions.

"So what are you working on?" he questioned looking at the paper and pencil in my hand.

"Oh, just some lyrics," I told him, now trying to subtly hide them.

"Can I see?" he asked.

"Sure," I said biting my lip. They weren't that good and I wasn't sure if I was finished with them. "They may suck a bit. I can't seem to get a good rhythm."

He nodded and read the words over.

("These Times" by Safetysuit)

These times will try hard to define me  
>And I'll try to hold my head up high<br>But I've seen despair here from the inside  
>And it's got a one track mind<p>

And I have this feeling in my gut now  
>And I don't know what it is I'll find<br>Does anybody ever feel like,  
>You're always one step behind?<p>

Now I'm sitting alone here in my bed  
>I'm waiting for an answer I don't know that I'll get<br>I cannot stand to look in the mirror, I'm failing  
>I'm telling you these times are hard<br>But they will

And I know there's someone out there somewhere  
>Who has it much worse than I do<br>But I have a dream inside, a perfect life  
>I'd give anything just to work<br>It's like I'm only trying to dig my way out  
>Of all these things but I can't<p>

And I am sitting alone here in my bed  
>I'm waiting for an answer I don't know that I'll get<br>I cannot stand to look in the mirror, I'm failing  
>I'm telling you these times are hard<br>But they will pass,

They will pass  
>They will pass<br>These times are hard  
>But they will<p>

These times will try hard to define me  
>But I will hold my head up high<p>

Sitting alone here in my bed  
>I'm waiting for an answer I don't know that I'll get<br>I cannot stand to look in the mirror, I'm failing  
>I'm telling you these times are hard<br>But they will pass

And I know there's a reason  
>I just keep hoping it won't be long 'til I see it<br>And maybe if we throw up our hands and believe it  
>I'm telling you these times are hard<br>But they will pass

They will pass  
>They will pass<br>These times are hard  
>But they will pass<p>

"These are really good," he told me. "Why don't you like them?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I guess it's easier to figure everything out with an instrument. I feel like the lyrics don't click right."

"Well Jake has a guitar," Embry said.

"Yea, I know. But he's probably still mad at me right now. So…"

"He isn't mad, just worried about you. You mean a lot to him." Embry said looking down at the sand.

"I didn't mean to hurt you guys," I told him softly.

Embry nodded. "So do you sing?"

I let out a small laugh, "not really. I mean, the Cullen's had me once, but its not going to be a repeated thing. I'm sure someone else could belt the notes out a lot better."

"The Cullen's have heard you already?" he questioned sounding a bit jealous.

I hesitantly nodded. "I was using their drum set when I thought of a song. So you know…I wrote it down, figured out a melody. And they just happened to be standing around watching me at work. So I sang for them."

"Well…do I get to hear you since im watching you at work?" he asked hopeful.

"I don't have a melody. Or a drum set," I blushed.

"The best ideas come to you when you least expect it," he said bumping my shoulder with his. "Maybe if you just started singing, it would come to you."

"Okay," I said biting my lip. Taking a deep breath, I opened my mouth and began reading the lyrics. My eyes went big. Embry was right, it was working! My head cleared of all my problems and I could picture everything I wanted to hear together.

Smiling at him, I watched him grinning at me.

"It worked!" I told him when I was done. He laughed, hugging me as I practically jumped into his arms. After that, he walked me home and went on patrol. I skipped into the house with an extra beat in my step. I could make music without even having an instrument by me.

"You look happy," Charlie said from the kitchen table.

"I am," I told him.

"Do I even want to know why?" he asked setting down some paperwork.

I rolled my eyes. "I didn't go to the Cullen's if that's what you are implying."

"Okay," he said now very interested.

"Even though I can do as I please, I do care about your opinion."

"So if I said you were allowed to go to the Cullen's," I spun around from where I was standing at the fridge.

"I would say I love you."

"Then you better say it," he said sighing a bit. Running over to him I gave him a hug and grinned. "Thank you!"

"Just promise me you will tell someone before going over there. I don't care if it's me, Jake, Embry, Sam-whoever. I just want someone to know you are over there."

"Will do," I said kissing his cheek. After that, I took a seat on the counter and we talked a bit. I gave him the down low about my music making, and he told me about some of his paperwork and cases he was working on.

"Oh crap!" I said spotting the time.

'What?" he called to me as I ran out of the kitchen.

"Online class!" I yelled back running to my laptop. Quickly logging on, I found myself to be one of the last ones to sign in onto my virtual class. The lecture took about 2 hours. I sat on my bed, trying my hardest not to fall asleep.

When we were finally dismissed, which I was unbelievably glad for, I headed downstairs to see Charlie again.

"Hey dad, I have to run to the bookstore. Did you need anything?" I asked.

"No, im good. Are you sure you can drive? You look pretty tired Bells," he said.

"Yea, im fine. I'll see you soon okay?"

"Sure. Have your cell on you!" he told me as I walked out the door. Getting into my car, I turned up the heat. It got pretty cold fast. I debated getting my jacket from inside, but shook my head thinking I could just run in the store real fast.

I parked in the streets of Port Angeles, paying the city meter before going inside. I was in the store for about 10 minutes, standing there trying hard to pay attention, when someone came to stand next to me. Glancing at the person briefly, I looked back down and then snapped my head back up.

"Sam?" I questioned.

"Hey," he said with coincidence in his voice. He put his hand over the back of his neck to rub it.

"What are you doing here?" I wondered. La Push to be like their turf. I always thought because they were wolves and protectors and all, that they didn't leave there or whatever.

"Just looking for a new book to read. How 'bout you?" he asked.

"School shopping," I told him holding up my small pile.

"You're going to college?" he asked.

"Taking online classes," I told him. He looked at me impressed.

"So how is it so far?" he wondered.

"Not too bad," I told him rubbing my forehead.

"Long day?' he asked watching me.

"Something like that."

He gave me a raised eyebrow. "Really long class lecture. Total bore. And now I have to read the back of like, 5 more books to make sure they interest me for when I do this research paper and all of that crap. I swear I could fall asleep right here."

"Did you drive here?" he asked concerned.

"Yea, but don't worry. I'm be sure to wake up before going back home _officer_," I said knowing what he did for a living. Charlie only brought him up like a million times today when we were talking in the kitchen.

He blushed a bit and I held back a laugh. Turning back to my book, I glanced at the title, the cover, and shrugged. Hey, it seemed good enough.

"Did you want to grab a coffee?" he asked as I was onto my next book.

"Now?" I asked.

He shrugged and stuck his hands in his front pockets, "whenever you are ready."

I bit my lip. Wasn't this breaking the rules of staying away from each other? What about Emily? Was she even with him?

Reading my face, he spoke up, "Its just me here. And we don't have to talk about…that…if you don't want to," he said referring to the imprint.

"Right. Umm… yea, sure why not? I could use the caffeine. Meet me back here in like 10?"

"Sure," he said with a smile.

"Cool," I smiled, adding my next book to my stack. Peeking up at him one last time, I continued my adventures around the store. When I had my five more, I went back to the register and paid for everything.

"Here you go," the woman said handing me my bags.

I gave her a smile, thanking her and wishing her a nice night.

"Hey," I said startled a bit as I found him at the door to leave.

"I saw you paying so I figured I would just meet you here instead."

"Okay," I said a bit oddly. Had he been watching me the whole time?

"You didn't get anything?" I said looking at his empty hands as he opened the door for me.

"Wasn't sure what to get. Nothing really stood out."

"Well what do you read?" I asked as we stepped outside.

"Books," he mumbled. I let out a laugh and rolled my eyes. "I meant what genre of books? Fiction, science fiction, non fiction, historical fiction…"

His face scrunched up and I thought of how cute it looked. "I guess im more of a classic kind of guy."

"Okay," I breathed. I definitely should have brought my jacket. "What about the Great Gatsby?" I asked.

"Never read it," he said taking off his jacket and offering it to me.

"You should ke-"

"I don't even need it. Warm blooded remember? Emily just makes me put it on so I look somewhat normal and don't stand out," he said holding it out for me to slip on.

"Oh, umm…thanks," I said feeling slightly awkward as he brought up his girlfriend.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Its okay," I said with a weak smile as I pulled his jacket closer. It smelled like him. Woodsy with a touch of something else- I couldn't place my finger on it. His jacket was nice and warm as I cuddled it to my body.

"I can-" I said trying to grab my bags full of books as he took them from me.

"I got them."

"I can carry them. I know they are kind of heavy and…right. You are a werewolf." I said reading his face. I forgot he had that whole super strength thing going on.

We continued to walk. "Are you sure?" I asked feeling bad. Here I was with his nice black leather jacket around me while he was in a black short sleeve tee shirt, carrying both of my heavy bags of books in this chilly fall night.

"I'm fine Bella. Don't worry," he smiled.

"Right," I breathed turning back to look at the pavement.

We made it into the coffee shop, settling into two comfy seats that faced the fireplace. Setting our things down, we quickly got in line to order something.

A man took my order, and then glanced over at Sam to see what he wanted. After taking his order, Sam pulled out a 10.

"You're paying for me too?" I asked feeling even guiltier (yet at the same time, my heart was melting at how gentlemen like he was). He smirked. I guess he could feel that.

"Well, thank you," I said when we got our drinks.

"You're welcome," he smiled as we sat down. The scene in my head determined that this would be a pretty awkward conversation, but it actually wasn't. He asked me about school, living with Charlie, and even asked if I was thinking about working. From there, I asked him about being a cop in Forks, the whole alpha thing, and all the responsibilities that went along with it.

It was almost two hours later when my cell phone began to ring.

"Hello?" I asked forgetting to look at the caller ID.

"Bella? You okay? I thought you would be home by now."

"Oh," I said mentally slapping myself. "I'm fine dad. Sorry, I uhh…ran into Sam at the bookstore and we went to grab a coffee.

"Oh!" he said with surprise. I held back an eye roll. He was always a fan of Sam. "Well take your time. I didn't mean to interrupt you two. This old man is going to go to bed though, so I will see you tomorrow for dinner okay?"

"Sure, okay. Oh hey dad, I was thinking about going to the Cullens tomorrow, but I will be home before you are to make dinner…just to give you a heads up and everything."

He sighed, "Okay Bella." We said goodnight one last time and then hung up.

"Sorry."

"Not a problem," he said staring at me. "So he gave you the O.K.?"

I shrugged. "Sort of. As long as I am to tell someone that I am going over there, and check in once and a while, I'm cleared to go."

"That's…good." He said. I bit my lip. His disapproval was evident.

'I know you don't like it," I said curling up on the chair, leaning my head against the back cushion.

"No I do. What makes you happy makes me happy. I just-…I don't trust them that's all."

My heart gave a painful squeeze at his words. What makes me happy makes him happy. Well truth be told, I haven't been very happy. So does that mean he wasn't?

"Well do you trust me?" I wondered.

"With my life," he said, not a doubt in his voice.

"Then you don't have anything to worry about," I whispered softly. I could feel him staring at me. Everything I was doing was now being clouded with self-doubt. Maybe pushing Sam away has been the wrong thing to do. Maybe I needed to rethink this all over. Looking at the time on my phone, I sighed. It was getting late.

"I should probably get going." I told him getting up.

"Let me walk you to your car," he pleaded.

"Sure," I said with my hands in my back pockets. Leading the way, I thanked him as he opened up the doors for me.

"Are you happy?" he questioned to me as my tuck came into view.

I looked at him confused. "It's just- there's something in my heart- something that I feel. And I know its you. I can feel parts of things that you can and I just-" he sighed, frustrated with himself. "I just feel like you are unhappy here."

I bit my lip and plastered on a fake smile. "I'm just still adjusting."

He stared at me. "No, I know that isn't it."

My brows furrowed again. How could he tell?

"Bella, I know it's more than that. I feel it. I mean, it not something I can explain. But, I just see it- in your eyes, the way you hold back from everyone. The way you phrase your words and hold back your smile. What-…what is going on? Is it because of your mom?" he wondered.

I tried to hide my grimace but he could still tell.

"Bella, if you are feeling guilty over that, you shouldn't. Your mom killing herself wasn't your fault." He said stepping closer.

"How do you know? You don't even know what happened." I rebutted with a snap. I shut my eyes, ignoring the ripple of pain that hit me.

"Sorry," I apologized. "Look Sam. I'm not unhappy-or- im not always unhappy. It's just going to take some time. Everything is so much different from Florida. I need to adjust and get used to everything," I told him. My heart was screaming at me to blurt out ' especially watching you and Emily together,' but I held it back.

"Is that it?" he wondered.

"Yes," I pronounced clearly, as I looked at him, making sure I hid my hurt from him deep down. He nodded and then put my books in the back of the truck. His chest barely brushed against me and I let out a shaky breath.

"Here, you should take this," I said pulling myself together.

"No, keep it," he said pushing his jacket back on my shoulders.

"Its yours, you should take it," I told him.

"It looks good on you," he whispered as he hovered over me. My heart quickened.

"What will Emily say?" I whispered back as he put his hands on my waist.

"I don't care," he told me. With a slow, soft kiss to my head, my eyes fluttered shut. My body pleaded with my mind to lean against him, but I didn't. Instead I just savored his presence. It was almost like he could feel my want though, because he bent his head down further, almost running the side of his face over mine. Flashes of his wolf doing the same thing to me when we were outside had my heartbeat against my chest faster. Slowly, his breath got warmer as he came closer. Pressing a small, warm kiss to my cheek, my heart melted into goo.

He stood there for a second or two before pulling away. Finding the moment to be over, he stood back giving me some space, watching as my eyes fluttered back open.

"Goodnight Sam," I said shakily as I hurried to the driver side door of my car.

"Night Bella," I heard him breathe as I shut my driver door and took off.

When I made it home, pulling my truck into the driveway, I shut off the engine and let out the breath I had been holding since I left Port Angeles. My determination was crumbling. Everything that screamed 'stay away from him!' was now starting to silence. Shoot, I was cracking. It was only a matter of time before I broke, and I think Sam was starting to see that.

Getting out of the car, I made sure to be silent as I went upstairs and put my books away. Throwing them on the bed, I stood there wondering what to do next. Sleep wasn't my number one priority anymore. That caffeine fix was for sure to have me up for a while longer. Settling beside my things on the bed, I noticed that I still had Sam's jacket it on. Touching it, I smiled, remembering he had it on. Blushing a bit, I laughed at myself. Here I was sitting on my bed, reminiscing about a jacket. Thinking about shrugging it off, I bit my lip. I really didn't want to yet.

Instead, I hopped off my bed, putting my new purchases away. After I was done, I decided to take a trip out back. Tiptoeing through the hallway, I made sure to be careful of some of those creaky stairs I heard when I was walking up. When I made it out safely, I pulled the jacket closer and sat on the steps.

It was so beautiful out. The whole world was going around, living their own life. The crickets were creaking and the owls were hooting. The noises almost became a comfort. I watched as my breath blew out like smoke. It really was cold out.

Rustling was heard from the forest and I knew whom it would be. Out came a black wolf staring at me, gently coming closer.

"You know I just saw you like 20 minutes ago right?" I told the horse-sized animal.

He nodded, "So…what? Did you follow me home or something? Because if so, I am going to label that as creepy," I told him.

His big head shook from side to side saying 'no'. "Well that's good to know," I teased a bit. It was comforting to have Sam around. My heart ached less.

"I thought Quil and Paul had patrol today?" I questioned to him. He bowed his head to me like I scolded him, but still watched me with his eyes.

"Sneaky," I told him a laugh. Sam was cute in his own way I guess. Silence passed us for a while, so I broke it again.

"Do you always come out here to watch me?" I asked him. He shook his head and nodded up to my window. Then, he scrapped his paw against the grass.

"You hear me and coming running?" I asked, finding myself not to be the best at charades. He twisted his head to the side. Walking closer to me, he pushed his nose against my heart.

"You can feel me," I whispered. He nodded, watching me. "You feel me and come running." He again, nodded.

I let out a breath and looked away from him. So he could feel what? My fear? Worry? Pain? Heartache?

"Well, that's nice of you." I said trying to let him know it wasn't a bad thing. I just wasn't sure how I should react to that.

"You know," I breathed, "its a lot easier to talk to you when you are a wolf. I don't know why…maybe because it's easier staring at you and thinking of you as a big furry dog, or because you don't look like the human you, either way, it's comforting," I told him. Thinking over my words, I winced, "no offense."

He just sat in front of me staring, his long tail swaying back and forth.

"Do you have control of that thing?" I asked looking at it. He turned his head to see what I was looking at, and he shook his head. Standing up, he began to chase it a bit.

I let out giggles, finding it to be really funny. He gave me with wolfy smile, his tongue sticking out the side of my mouth and I rolled my eyes with a grin plastered on my face. As the wave of calmness subsided, I looked back down at my lap and saw my hands playing with the sleeves of his jacket.

"You really should have taken this," I told him. "I couldn't imagine what Emily would have said when you came home without it."

He shook his head and let out a rough huffing sound.

"It smells like you," I admitted, not staring at him. "Your jacket I mean. And I know this is going to sound weird, but I like it. It relaxes me almost."

He let out a purr and I snapped my head up to look at him. He was lying down with his body flat on the grass. He seemed so perfect- his black fur coat, with a creamy white chest and belly- his tail, which was still wagging from side to side, and his dark chocolate eyes.

My heart felt heavy again. I knew I was sending mixed messages- one minute I was telling him to stay away from me and be with Emily, and the next minute I was practically crying that he was with her. I was letting him take me out for coffee and give me his jacket. I could feel how hopeful he was as I sat outside with him. It was an odd feeling.

"I'm sorry for always pushing you away," I breathed, turning my attention to my shoes. "Its just," I paused, "I'm not sure how this is all supposed to work. I mean, I get that we are meant to be together, but why? Why me? Why you?" I questioned. I let the wheels start turning in my head. I needed to get this off my chest.

"Love at sight just seems so…fairytale like," I told him. "I mean, nobody can have that good of luck. It just doesn't seem real. And what sucks is that even though I tell myself that, I still find part of me believing it could happen," I said looking up at the wolf. His head snapped up.

"You and me can't possibly be meant for each other," I declared staring into his eyes, "you barely know anything about me."

His brown eyes narrowed and he got up. "Sam," I called. "I know I have been avoiding our talk- about the whole imprinting thing- and truth be told, I still am, but I want you to know, I don't mean to hurt you. I just- want to do what is right."

He trotted into the forest and I let out a protest. "Don't do that. We shouldn't-"

He came out of the woods human, with a pair of jeans, which hung low on his hips while showing his very muscular upper chest.

"Do this," I whispered at the end. He walked over to me and I let out a sigh. What was I doing? I shouldn't have come out here or opened my big fat mouth.

"We really shouldn't talk about this," I told him as he sat next to me.

"Its long over due don't you think?" he asked.

"Has it been long enough that we can just forget about it?" I tried, putting some charm into my plea as I looked over at him.

"Nice try," he said glancing down at my lips and staring back into my eyes.

I let out a long breath and looked back at my shoes.

"A lot changed quickly for you," he started out, "and I know it was probably too much for you to handle all at once," he sucked in a deep breath. "But we need to clear the air."

I winced at those last words. Clear the air. Not only would we be talking about Emily, but what going on between us and what would happen from there.

"Emily," he deadpanned. I stiffened at his words. "She umm- is a fickled person," he described. "She can be this great girl one second, but the next, she can be quite a handful. The way she acted towards you at the bon fire- I just want you to know she isn't always like that. I think she was just jealous because she could sense something was going on between you and me."

"Wait," I choked out, "you didn't tell her about imprinting on me?"

"She doesn't know much about the supernatural world, other than that I am the alpha wolf."

"You can't be serious," I said turning to him.

"The elders didn't think she needed to know. Imprinting was considered to be a very rare thing, and I didn't want to worry her about it if it was to never happen."

"But it did," I whispered.

"That it did," he replied.

"See, this is why we should just forget about it. You have her…and I have…my sanity. We both are trying to hang onto them, so we should just continue our ways because so far, they haven't been too bad," I said trying to comfort myself.

"Yes they have," he said. I looked at him confused. "They have been really hard. I can't keep doing this to myself." He said.

I bit my lip holding back a long screaming 'nooo!' in my head.

"I keep trying to tell myself this is what you wanted, that this is how you wanted it to be, but every time I see you, or you get close to me; Every time I am practically in the same room with you, all I want to do is call you mine and kiss you. I look at you with Jake and Embry. Hell, sometimes I even watch you interact with Quil, and I feel so jealous because they get to hang out with you and I don't. When they show up for patrols after being with you, all I can do is smell your scent on them. And it kills me- it literally kills me. I can't go home to Emily half of the time because I know its not real. What I feel for her-what I felt for her-" he corrected, "Is no longer true. I'm wasting my time with her, yet, its what you want." He huffed.

I closed my eyes for a second and scrunched my face. "That's not what I wanted." I told him. "What I wanted was for you to be happy. To not feel like, because of this whole imprinting thing, you had to like me or you had to be stick around me because it felt right. I didn't want you to feel like the imprint stuck you with me and sealed our fate, because that isn't true. We can fight it. It may be rough but it could be the right choice in the end. You should have your own rights, your own thoughts, and feelings, instead of some pull that tries to tell you what to do and how you should think how you feel. I just don't want this imprinting thing to tie us together because it's just how it's supposed to be."

"But that's not how I feel," Sam argued getting up to sit in front of me. He took my hands in his and stared into my eyes. "I don't feel like I have to be with you, or that I am tied down to you. I can make my own choices. I truly want to be with you Bella. I want to take the opportunity to get to know you and experience life with you. Why does that have to be so hard? Why can't we try?"

"Because," I whispered breaking eye contact.

"Bella, I know it all sounds too good to be true, but it could happen. We could make it come true," he said with determination in his voice. He sounded so convincing, I almost gave in.

"I can't Sam," I said biting my lip. The phrase burned by head reminding me I hated hearing that. "I just- don't believe in the magic of imprinting like you do."

Retracting my hands, I slowly got up, pulling myself away from his proximity.

"What can I do to make you believe?" he asked.

"You cant," I told him turning to face him. "Its not something you can just tell me is real and have me jump into it with blind faith. I don't see what you do- sure, I can feel it. I feel the pull to you all of the time. I get that weird heart ache thing when you aren't around, and I even sometimes feel what you are feeling," I stated, "but I just- I cant wrap my head around the part where we can find a happily ever after in all of that."

"So what?" he asked sliding in-between the back door and me. "What are we supposed to from here? Go on like we have been? Because I am telling you Bella, I can't do it. I know you feel something for me- you just have to admit it."

"I don't want to," I swallowed staring at his chest. He sucked in a sharp breath. "You deserve someone better than me. You deserve-…you deserve the girl that can face any fear, yours or her own. Someone who is willing to stand beside you, helping you conquer them head on. You can do better than me. Chasing after the girl who can barely face her own fears is just a waste of your time, and that's me." I spoke.

Trying to settle my racing heart, I put my hand over his heart. His skin burned against mine.

"You're a great guy Sam. You're pretty much perfect," I laughed thinking about his body and smile. "Which is why you have to move on and find someone better."

"I don't want anyone else but you. You are perfect to me." He whispered.

"That's what the imprint makes you see," I told him with a sad smile. "I'm not perfect. I'm actually far from it."

My hand started slipping down, away from his chest, but he caught it, bringing it back to hold my hand in his.

"I think I love you," he admitted with a shaky voice.

"I know," I breathed, my voice now shaking too. I think I love you too, I wanted to tell him but I didn't. Instead, I looked up at him with a teary smile. Cupping his head down to lower closer to me, I let my tears fall from my eyes as I brushed the side of my face with his. Planting a soft, yet meaningful kiss to his cheek, I slipped my hand out of his and whispered a soft "goodnight," and going inside the house.

Leaning against the door, I cupped a hand to my mouth, holding back my sobs so I wouldn't wake up Charlie. A painful howl was sounded in the night, crying into the air, and I knew it was Sam.

My butt hit the floor and my tears cascaded down my face, running like a waterfall. What was I doing?


	6. Chapter 6

Shakily, I got up from the floor and went upstairs. Everything I said to Sam was true. There was a better girl out there for him.

The next morning, I trudged downstairs. My nightmares were even worse than usual. Not only did they seem so real, but it was like I could feel everything all over again.

"Morning," I grumbled to Charlie on the way to the fridge.

"You okay?" he asked looking at me.

"Fine," I sighed pulling my hair up into a ponytail as I looked for the orange juice.

"All out kiddo," he said pointing to the carton in the trash, which needed to be taken out.

"Great," I muttered shutting the fridge. Charlie shot me a concerned look as I grabbed some water from the tap.

"Bella!" A voice shouted walking into the house while slamming the door shut.

"Bella, are you Loca?" Jake asked me as he popped his head into the kitchen as his body almost went to go find the stairs.

"What?" I asked still waking up from Jake's abrupt entrance.

"You and Sam? He flipped shit last night," Jake said looking at me. Concern went over my facial features. What happened?

"What do you mean?" I asked almost terrified to hear the answer.

"We all phased after we heard his howl. Bella, we can't get him to change back. He is in so much pain; we can't even phase to help him. Its all too much," he told me.

"Too much what?" I asked confused.

"He's feeling too much- sadness, pain, heartbreak. I could see bits and pieces of what happened between you guys in his head but shit Bells, this is bad."

Guilt hit me hard and I knew I was responsible.

"What happened last night?" Charlie asked. "Bells?" he said turning to me.

I sighed and sat on the counter top. "Sam came by last night after I got home. I couldn't sleep and he just happened to be outside." I swallowed hard. "We got to talking, finally reaching the big 'talk' that we had been holding off."

"And?" Charlie asked as I stopped talking.

I closed my eyes. "I told him I couldn't be his imprint- that we couldn't be together. I didn't believe in it enough like he did, and he deserved someone better than me."

"Bella," my dad said in a sad tone.

"I know," I said, knowing this was my fault. "But everything I said was true. Dad, he deserves someone better than me. He needs someone that can chase away his fears like he does with mine. I cant be that girl for him. If I can't even fix myself, how am I supposed to fix him?"

"Bells, he doesn't need fixing," Jake said coming closer to me.

"Yes he does," I told him. "You may not feel it Jake, but I do. He's alpha, he has a lot of responsibilities. And Sam feels like it's all too much sometimes. He's afraid of messing things up or not being a good enough Alpha. He even worries if he's doing the right thing when he commands you guys to do things. He worries all the time, and I cant fix it."

"Bella, just being with the guy fixes it," Charlie told me.

"But its not enough," I argued. "That doesn't make the problems go away, it just subsides them till I am gone."

Both the men were silent.

"Look," Jake said coming to stand in between my legs. "I know you cant see it, but you are a great girl Bells," he said. "You are brave and sweet. You care about others but not people think. You are the queen of second chances and you make smiling contagious."

I blushed. "Sam can see that Bells," Jake whispered. "He can see all of that and more. I see it all of the time when we are on patrol together. I see how much he cares about you and wants to love you. And although I hate to admit it, he's the right guy for you. Not just because he imprinted on you, but because the way you look at him. I catch those little glimpses you give him. And I saw your reaction when he brought Emily to the bon fire. You need to give him a chance," Jake whispered.

I shook my head.

"Bells," my dad said exasperated.

"He needs to find someone else," I said with teary eyes.

"Why?" Jake pushed.

"Because im not right for him." I said.

"Did you just hear me?" Jake questioned. I nodded and closed my eyes, letting the tears fall.

"Just give him a chance," Jake bargained. I shook my head again. "Why not?"

"I just cant," I told him staring at his shirt.

"That's not an answer," he said.

"Yes it is," I replied.

"No it isn't. And you know it," he said.

I clenched my jaw together. "Bella come on, I know that you think this is all bogus, but to us, it's far from that."

"I know," I said.

"Then why do you keep fighting this? The man loves you for god sakes!"

"I know!" I yelled back at Jake. "I love him too," I said softly. He gave me a confused look. "But-"

"I'm afraid!" I cried out admitting my dark fear.

"Bells honey, there is nothing to be afraid of," Charlie said.

"Yes there is. There are so many things," I said looking up. "What if I screw this all up? Or make his fears worse? What if I don't do a good job being an imprint? I'm not meant for this world Jake. Dad, how can you not see that?" I asked turning to them both with teary eyes.

They stayed silent. "My fears are practically eating me up and you want me to help him? You both aren't thinking straight if you think that," I told them, pushing Jake back a bit so I can get down.

"What are you afraid of Bells?" Jake wondered. I looked at my dad and could see a hint of understandment on his eyes.

"I still have nightmares" I admitted, "every night." My breath came out shaky. "So I am not the right person for Sam. Karma just screwed us over, I don't know. But it's just not meant to be."

"Come see him," Jake pleaded catching my wrist before I could get out the kitchen. "Just come look at him and then decide."

"Jake," I sighed.

"Please Bells, just come with me."

Turning to look at Charlie, I found him looking at me with sad eyes. "Okay," I whispered. Jake grabbed the keys to my truck, opening my side door to let me in before going to open his own door. The car ride to La push was silent. My pounding heart was the only thing I could hear as the blood flowed to my head.

As my truck came to a slow, the butterflies in my stomach increased, and I thought I was going to throw up. Jake opened my door, sliding my hand in his.

"Jake?" I asked pulling him back. He looked at me.

"Why is he stuck in wolf form? I mean, why can't he be human again?" I wondered.

Jake walked back over to me. "When you are a wolf, your emotions become a bit more prioritized and it's almost like a switch you can turn on and off. You don't feel as much as when you are human and in more control. With Sam, I think he is just feeling too many things at once, that he cant get it together to phase back. His mind is in overdrive and his wolf is trying to figure it all out."

I nodded. Tugging on my hand, he led us to Sam.

There was a huddle of boys, which I noticed was everyone from the pack. They were all have dressed, looking at Sam with helpless eyes. Before Embry could speak my name in surprise, a voice ran out surprising us all. "Sammy!"

Emily came running up with Quil Sr. behind her. "She came looking for him at my place," he mumbled as everyone, except me, shot him daggers.

"Honey," she cooed coming to him. He let out a growl, lifting his head. Paul pulled her back and she slapped his arm away. "Get the hell off of me!" she yelled. Paul growled, trembling a bit. Stepping up, I put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a look to calm down. He let out a hard breath and I nodded for him to take it somewhere else. He needed to calm down.

As Paul pushed his way through the group, I saw Emily try again.

"Sammy, come on. You need to be human. We have a lot to get done around the house. I found the ring in your drawer," she cooed. Pain stabbed my heart. A ring? He was going to ask her to marry her?

He let out a whimper, feeling exactly what I was feeling. Spinning around, I felt the need to run. Hot hands caught my shoulders. "Jake, I need to get out of here," I told him.

"Come on Bells," he said trying to reason with me. I looked up at him with teary eyes again and tried to take some breaths. Sam needed to phase back and so far, it looked like I was the only one that could help him.

"I do," she whispered, stepping closer to him. "Sammy sweetie, I do." she cheered. He let out another growl, now watching her feet inch closer.

"Stop moving Emily," I told her with my eyes shut.

"Shut up," she snapped back at me. Sam's growls got louder.

Turning back to look at the woman, I shot her a look. "Stop moving before he rips your fucking throat out," I barked. Her eyes narrowed at me and then she looked at Sam. Sam was now on all fours, showing her his sharp teeth, practically daring her to come closer. Slowly, she backed away and huddled into the safety of the pack.

Seeing her not to be a threat anymore, he laid back down, whimpering in pain. Taking that as my queue, I took in a deep breath and hoped to the heavens I could get him back to being human.

"Sam," I breathed, slowing stepping away from the naked chest top men. "Its just me, Bella," I swallowed. He put his paws on top of his head, covering his eyes. It would be a perfect moment to laugh, if it wasn't such a serious moment.

"Hey," I said as I got almost a foot away. He pulled a paw away from his eyes and growled at how close I was.

"You're going to growl at me?" I asked a bit testy. He pulled a face and then laid his head down in submission. "That's what I thought." I told him.

"You have to phase back," I told him as I felt all eyes on me.

He gave a shake of his head telling me 'no' and continued to lie there. I threw my head back, letting gout a long sigh, and then turned to Jake. I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing.

He gave me a pointed look like 'come on!' so I rolled my eyes at him and continued. I looked at him, hoping something would pop in my head so I could talk to him, but nothing did. All I could think of were everyone's stares.

"I cant," I said aloud as I got up. Sam let out a painful whimper, pulling his head up to watch me.

"Bella!" Jake scolded as I walked back to them.

"No," I said looking at his chest. I let out a nervous breath, "you guys need to leave if I do this. I can't have you guys just stare at me like this. Its nerve wracking. I can't focus and as it is, I can barely breath. So you all need to leave. Now." I commanded. Jake gave me a small smile.

"I thought you were coming over here to back away from your word." He smirked.

I rolled my eyes a bit. "No, I didn't. So go," I said giving him a small shove. He nodded and gave me a kiss to the head. "We'll all be at my house."

"'Kay," I sighed. Watching everyone leave, I saw Embry give me a look of 'good luck' and then was off. Quil and Seth pulled along the protesting Emily, while Quil Sr. looked guilty following behind them. When everyone left, I turned back around and faced the black wolf.

"So, im not sure how this is supposed to go," I told him as I went to sit back down next to him. "Jake thinks I can get you back to being human, but I don't really believe him. I guess im kind of stubborn like that," I said with a small smile. He looked up at me. I sat there trying to think of something else to say, but I didn't know what I should bring up.

"I love you, you know that right?" I whispered. His ears perked up a bit and he took his head off the grass. I let out a shaky breath. "At least i think I do." He laid his head on my lap and I brought my hand to stroke his fur. I could feel some tension leave his body.

"What I said last night- I- I was telling the truth Sam." He stiffened and started to pull away but I wouldn't let him. "You deserve a better girl. I even told Jake and my dad this morning when Jake came barging in my house to yell at me," I laughed a bit at the memory and Sam hit me with his nuzzle, almost silently asking if I was hurt. "I'm okay," I smiled at him. I took a few seconds to gather my words, "they made me realize I was afraid too."

He looked up at me, tilting his head in confusion.

"I think that you need to phase back so we can talk about it," I bargained. He laid his head back down on my lap. "Come on Sam. What happened to the guy that always wanted to talk to me face to face? Where is he?"

Sam repositioned his head on my lap to get comfortable and I huffed, stroking his fur. "I know it's hard, dealing with all of the emotions but you have to try. I want my human Sam back. I need to hear some responses out of him."

The wolf whined. "Sam, please. I need you," I whispered. Sam immediately looked up to me, searching my eyes as he tilted his head.

"You're going to marry her," I said with some tears starting to pool in my eyes. The thought was ripping my insides out. He let out a loud whimper. Slowly, he withdrew his head and got up. His face brushed against the side of mine and he softly licked away my falling tears. "Please phase back," I whispered, hoping the need to take care of his imprint would trump his wish to stay a wolf. Taking the pair of shorts laying out on the ground for him in his mouth, he walked to the woods. With a bit of rustling, he came out human looking worn.

"I'm not going to marry her," he told me, coming to hug me. I nodded, snuggling my face into his chest. He held me tightly; one arm around my waist while his other hand was cupping the back of my head sniffing my hair.

"I bought it months ago before you came here. I thought I should buy it just incase the time was ever right. She must have found it Bella. I meant to return it, I just haven't had time." He said pleading for me to understand.

I nodded, hugging him tightly to me. I didn't care how wrong it was right now. I would deal with the consequences later. All I needed was him. He hugged me tight, hanging onto me like I was the last person on earth.

"I love you," he whispered kissing my head.

"I think I love you too," I told him. He pulled back a bit and I looked up at him, smiling just the slightest.

"You think?" he asked with amusement in his voice.

I shrugged, waiting for his next move. "Well, lets see if we can do anything about that," he said, lowing his head, letting his lips descend on mine.

Our kiss was feverous. It was like we couldn't get enough of each other, pulling and tugging at each other's lips. He took my bottom lip, licking it slowly before capturing my mouth again. I cupped the back of his neck, trying to get him closer to me as he yanked at my waist, trying to press more of my body against his. Our lips stayed together, kissing each other in such sync it was mind blowing. When I needed to breathe, I pulled away slightly, letting my lungs refill themselves with oxygen.

My head was spinning a mile a minute. What did I just do? What was going to happen? His forehead touched my mind and it calmed the voices.

He, too, was panting. His hands stayed settled on my hips, while he waited for my eyes to open. When they did, he let out a sweet laugh, just staring at me. I blushed at how attentive he was.

* * *

><p>Somehow, out of all of this mess, we ended up sitting on the grass in each other's arms, talking about everything. The kiss had both of us a bit hazy, but we worked through it nonetheless.<p>

"I want to be with you," he told me, staring at the side of my face. I smiled, looking down at our entwined hands. They seemed perfect.

"Bella," he said trying to scootch even closer to me than humanly possible. His chest was already pressed against my back while his arm was wrapped around my waist. "I have never wanted anything more than now. I don't want to be away from you," he told me.

I opened my mouth to respond but nothing came out. Reading my face, he waited me to say something. I could tell he was getting nervous, but I just couldn't find words.

My eyebrows furrowed and I thought real hard about what to say. "I'm scared to be with you," I admitted.

He looked at me hurt a bit but I could tell he wanted an explanation. I told him about everything- my fears of staying in Forks, of turning out like my mother, and of starting a relationship with him. I didn't want to mess things up, and I didn't want to get so involved with someone, and then later regret it when they broke my heart. I was scared of committing to someone, especially an alpha to a werewolf pack. I wasn't sure if I could ever comfort Sam like he could comfort me. I didn't feel like a good enough person to be with him.

His response was simple, calming all of my fears. He told me he loved me, with or without an imprint. I was strong and a damn good person, not only by risking my life today for him, but also by the way helped him phase back and I took care of Paul.

"You need to give more credit to yourself," he told me.

I nodded, still feeling a bit skeptical. Sensing it, he squeezed me in his arms and kissed my cheek.

"The guys are probably worried," I told him as he nuzzled the side of his face against mine. He hummed in agreement and I smiled. It wasn't like he was getting up or anything.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of him. The way his arm tugged at my waist, pulling me to him, making sure I was safe and secure. His hand, which he kept intertwined with mine, giving it little squeezes every so often. And his lips. They would give me kisses every so often. Sometimes on my lips, other times my cheek, jaw and neck. It was all so comforting. Savoring the feeling a little longer, I finally gathered enough strength to stop being so selfish and help him up.

Guiding him to my car, I gave him a weak smile. "You know this is the calming before the storm right?"

He pulled me back to him, so we were barely an inch apart. "It will all be okay," he whispered. I nodded, trying my hardest to hide the skepticism I felt.

He closed the gap between us, bringing his hand up to cup my jaw, running his thumb over my cheek, as he kissed me. Our lips danced together, parting as his tongue slipped in my mouth. He pulled back, nipping at my top lip and then taking the bottom in his mouth.

"We will be okay," he told me as he pulled us back. My eyes opened, clearing my head of the fog. This time, I nodded feeling like he was right. There was no doubt in my head (which could have just been from the amazing kiss he just laid on me) and I felt like everything was going to turn out all right.

* * *

><p>We pulled up to the Black's, both stepping out of the car. Slipping my hand in his, we walked inside.<p>

"Sam!" Jared called with surprise. Everyone turned and looked at Sam and I.

"Sammy!" Emily called running and jumping into his arms. Sam let go of my hand to catch her, showing his own surprised face.

"You did it," Jake breathed coming to hug me. I grinned a little. That I did. Paul came over to thank me, while Emily kept talking about her and Sam getting married.

"Em, I didn't ask you." He said.

"I know you didn't, you can ask me later. Don't worry, I will still act surprised even though I know what the ring looks like," she told him with a smile.

"No I mean, I'm not going to ask you. I don't want to get married to you." He said gently. Her eyes turned into slits and she jumped down from his arms. His free hand immediately seeked mine and I bit my lip, unsure if that was the best idea. Maybe what I wanted wasn't the right thing to do.

"What? Its Bella?" Emily screeched as she saw Sam's hand looking for mine. My head snapped over to the person who called my name. "Bella Swan? That's who you want to be with instead of me?"

"Emily, calm down," Sam called.

"Calm down?" She yelled to him. Emily glared daggers at me. Cowering back, Jake stepped in front of me to protect me. Emily truly looked scary.

"You man stealing whore! Why did you come here? Nobody wants you here! Nobody even likes you. They all feel bad for you! Stop kidding yourself. You don't belong here! Your mother didn't either. Why do you think she left? She saw the signs. Maybe you should too," she spat.

Her words hit every fear and soft spot I had. She knew how to be mean when she wanted to.

"Emily stop," Sam commanded feeling my heartbreak.

"I am not one of your mangy mutts Sam!" she yelled. "You don't get to command me like some little puppy dog!"

All of the guys growled. Sam looked too stunned to say anything.

"You come in and screw up everyone's life. What gives you the right?" she questioned with an edge in her tone.

"I-I," trembling, I didn't know what to say.

"I could have been happy," she said with tears in her eyes. "I could have had my happily ever after, but you ruined it. _**You**_."

My heart clenched with guilt.

"How could you be so pathetic?" She asked become mad again. "Stealing another person's boyfriend? Do you not have a conscious when sinking so low?"

Jake growled as he felt me trembling.

"Enough Emily," Paul said shaking.

"Shut up. All of you just shut up. This is between Bella and I. Take your loyalty and shove it," she barked. Turning back to me, her eyes sizzled.

"You're just like your mother Swan! I stared at you and thought for a second that maybe you were different. That I was being overdramatic when I saw you and Sam together out on your back porch. But god, how foolish was I. You probably just finished fucking him before I came to see if he was okay."

"No I-"

"Your mother disappears off the face of the earth, dropping out of your life, and you suddenly come here. Doesn't that seem a bit…odd? What did she do? Kick you out? Did you steal her man too? I bet she hated you. Nobody dares ask the question to what happened Bella, so I will! Where did she go? Where did your mom run off to? Did she try and get away from you? Did she pack up her things and leave? Or did she kill herself? Because that's what I would do if I had you as a daughter."

I sucked in a breath and looked at Sam with fear in my eyes.

"She did didn't she?" Emily said looking between us. "She killed herself? God, that is perfect. Her only escape from her daughter was death. Wow."

I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to run. I had to get away.

"Get out of my house right now!" Billy yelled coming through the back door.

"Emily Young, get the hell out of my house right now. Don't you ever come back. You show your face near or around me or the boys and _**you**_ will regret it." He growled. She looked at him wide eyed. Finding she was overpowered, she turned on heel and walked out.

My head zoomed over what happened. All of her words played over and over in my head. Tears pooled in my eyes and a hand was on my shoulder.

"Bella," Billy said softly.

Not even glancing at him, I ran out the back door and jumped down their back steps. Letting my feet take me wherever they pleased, I ran into the forest, sobbing my eyes out. Running and running, I found myself crossing the La Push border going to the Cullen's.

My name was being called somewhere but I didn't care, I needed to get away. Ignoring their calls I continue to run passing the border. When I got to their house I immediately knocked on the door.

"Bella? What are you doing here?" Esme said. Seeing I was upset she quickly rushed into the house trying to comfort me. "It's okay sweetie, you're okay," she repeated. Continuing to sob in her arms, she waited patiently until I calm down. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Leading us to the couch, she sat us both down. There, I explained to her what had happened. She comforted me as best as she could, telling me I could stay here as long as I needed.

"Where is everyone?" I asked finally. She gave me a warm smile. "They went out hunting. They should be back up later tonight."

"So you're all alone?"

"Alice and Rose are still here, they just went to see a movie."

"Oh," I said feeling as if I was intruding. "I should really go."

"No Bella, nonsense," she told me. "You are always welcome here."

I gave her a small smile. Telling her thank you, she led me upstairs to the drum sets and piano.

"Play your heart out," she smiled. "I'll get you some paper."

My heart warmed at her hospitality. She really was like the mother I never had. After bringing back the paper she left me alone in the living room, letting me do my thing. For that, I was also very grateful. She knew when to give me space and when not to. Settling at the piano, I began to run my hand over the keys. Note by note I started creating another song.


	7. Chapter 7

I was surprised to hear the front door of the Cullen's house open. Thinking it was Rosalie and Alice I continued playing. When footsteps became louder joining me into the living room I looked over to see who it was. Shock wasn't the word when I saw the whole Cullen family standing there.

"Hi," I said awkwardly. "Bella," Carlisle smiled warmly.

"I'm intruding am I?" I asked.

"Not at all Bella bean," Emmett said.

"So…how was hunting?" I asked breaking the silence. I felt uncomfortable as they all stood there watching me.

"Good," Edward said with a smile. "I got an unusual call though," Carlisle added, smiling as Esme joined him in the room.

"Oh?" she answered giving her husband a kiss on the cheek.

"The alpha wolf, Sam, was requesting to come over the border."

My breath came to a halt and I swear my heart stopped beating. "He said something about needing to check on you?"

"I-uhh-"

"I was surprised that he was calling and then I heard the situation."

"Are you okay Bella?" Alice said rushing over hugging me. "Edward called me to tell me what happened. I thought you would need a friend."

"Thanks," I blushed. "I'm sorry for bringing you all home."

"Bella, this hasn't happened since- well, ever. The wolf pack and vampires…Why didn't you tell us he imprinted on you?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I guess it was just different. I didn't have to worry about all those things when I came here."

"We aren't mad Bella," Edward said reading my face. I nodded.

"Bella, you are bringing us together." Jasper said. I smiled. That was good right? So then why didn't I feel happy?

"Another song?" Rosalie interrupted. I nodded slowly. "Lets here it," she encouraged. Turning back to the piano, I stared at the keys.

_(**"We Are Broken" by Paramore)**_

_I am outside_  
><em>And I've been waiting for the sun<em>  
><em>With my wide eyes<em>  
><em>I've seen worlds that don't belong<em>  
><em>My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize<em>  
><em>Tell me why we live like this<em>

_Keep me safe inside_  
><em>Your arms like towers<em>  
><em>Tower over me<em>

_Yeah_  
><em>'Cause we are broken<em>  
><em>What must we do to restore<em>  
><em>Our innocence<em>  
><em>And oh, the promise we adored<em>  
><em>Give us life again<em>  
><em>'Cause we just wanna be whole<em>

_Lock the doors_  
><em>Cause I'd like to capture this voice<em>  
><em>That came to me tonight<em>  
><em>So everyone will have a choice<em>  
><em>And under red lights<em>  
><em>I'll show myself it wasn't forged<em>  
><em>We're at war<em>  
><em>We live like this<em>

_Keep me safe inside_  
><em>Your arms like towers<em>  
><em>Tower over me<em>

_'Cause we are broken_  
><em>What must we do to restore<em>  
><em>Our innocence<em>  
><em>And oh, the promise we adored<em>  
><em>Give us life again<em>  
><em>'Cause we just wanna be whole<em>

_Tower over me_  
><em>Tower over me<em>

_And I'll take the truth at any cost_

_'Cause we are broken_  
><em>What must we do to restore<em>  
><em>Our innocence<em>  
><em>And oh, the promise we adored<em>  
><em>Give us life again<em>  
><em>'Cause we just wanna be whole<em>

When I finished, I felt somewhat relieved. I turned back to face the Cullen's and found the pack standing along with them.

I looked at all of them with shock. When did they come in? Why did they come in?

"You still remember," Jake said speaking first.

"I- yea," I said still a bit stunned.

"Drums too?" Embry asked. I nodded.

"You guys got here fast," I commented. Sam looked at me with a raised eyebrow. His arms still crossed in front of his chest.

"We'll let you guys…you know," Esme said nodding to her family. I gave her a grateful look, which she just brushed off with a motherly smile. As they all obeyed her, Alice came speeding over to give me one last hug. The pack stiffened and I hesitantly put my arms around her.

"I'll be here if you need to talk Bella," she chimed.

"Thanks," I blushed as she pulled away. Flashing me a pearly white smile she walked off with Jasper hand in hand.

"So…" I said, as we were all alone.

"You play here often?" Seth asked breaking the silence.

I shot him the most thankful look ever and nodded. "Yea, I like to come here and play their drums and piano. And as long as Emmett gets an exclusive, it's all good," I chuckled.

"You bet Bella bean!" his voice ran through the house. I grinned, starting to enjoy my nickname.

We talked a little more about my music, Sam being quiet the whole time. His silence had me thinking. Jake started easing me into talking about what happened today; just as were about to shove the elephant out of the room, Alice came yelling towards me.

"Bella! Why can I see your future?" she asked in a very mother like tone.

"What?" I told her confused. Her presence was shocking when she super sped in the room.

"I can see your future Bella Swan. And do you know what I see?" she asked. I thought about it for a second, getting why she was able to see it.

"No!" I said shooting up to cover Alice's mouth before she could say anything. "Alice don't," I warned. My mind was now made up, I could see that with Alice's arrival.

"Don't you 'don't Alice' me Bella! I shouldn't be able to see your future. I don't want to see your future," she told me with a hint of knowing in her voice.

"I know, and im sorry for that." I said, noticing Jasper walking up behind Alice. I could tell he felt bad for intruding in the room, but he was coming to get his wife after all.

"Stop right there Jasper," Alice warned. He did as he was told, shocked at her anger.

"Bella what you are about to do is stupid. You know that right?" she lectured. "Alice, stay out of this." I said politely.

"I'm sorry, what is going on?" Sam asked speaking up for the whole pack. I looked over at him briefly before looking away.

Alice gave me a disapproving look, even adding her hands on her hips to increase the effect.

"Alice, leave them be," Edward said coming in.

"Edward, you saw it. You have to tell Bella it's a bad idea," she pleaded.

"Its her choice," he said coming to stand next to her.

"But Edward," she said.

"Leave her be," he said giving me a small smile before leading her to Jasper.

"Thanks Edward," I whispered, knowing he would hear. He turned back giving me a nod, before leaving the room.

I let out a breath and turned back to the pack. "Sam can we talk?" He nodded stepping forward.

"Bells, you know we will just hear all of it when he phases right?" Jake said.

I rolled my eyes at my best friend. "It's the illusion that counts." The pack snickered and I led Sam outside to the balcony.

I stared out at the night while Sam stared at me. "Sam, I think I need to leave for a bit," I said gathering up the courage to look at him.

He searched my eyes, frozen for a second. "What?" he questioned. My heart drummed against my chest. "I think its best for me if I left Forks for a bit."

"No," he refused like it was obvious. I let out a shaky breath. I knew that it was coming.

"Sam, I'm not asking you," I said slowly. "I'm telling you."

"Why?" he questioned.

"Because it's the right thing to do," I said softly. He stayed silent for a while. Finally, he turned to face the night and leaned against the rail. "Is this because of Emily?"

I bit my lip.

"What she said to you- what she said to all of us…" he spoke.

"Was true," I said copying his stance. I leaned against the rail beside him, looking out at the stars.

"It was out of line," he corrected. "Whether it was right or wrong, she had no right to create such an outburst."

"She was hurt Sam," I spoke softly into the night. "What she was saying came from pain and anger. She didn't want to lose you."

"But she did- a long time ago," he said speaking to me.

"Everything she said," I breathed, now playing with my fingers, "just hit home. Every sore spot and every doubt I pushed away resurfaced." I turned, leaning my back against the rail now. "And I can't keep pushing them away. I need to deal with them, but in order to do that, I can't be here."

"I should have never met here," Sam breathed. My eyebrows furrowed. I wasn't expecting to hear that from him.

"Don't say that," I told him now leaning my chin on his shoulder. "She made you apart of who you are today."

"But if she wasn't here, you wouldn't be leaving," he said turning his head to look at me. His stare was mesmerizing. I got the chills just looking at him.

"That's not true," I spoke, smiling at the way he moved to hold me after seeing I was cold. "I don't think I really belonged here anyways."

"I think you do. You belong right here with me," he said whispering in my ear as he hugged me tightly against him.

"That I do," I agreed. "but I don't think this world was meant for me like it is for you. I have too many ghosts. Too many things I have been running from."

"So what are you saying?" he asked. I looked out into the sky and felt my heart drop. Turning into his arms, I put my hands on his chest. "I'm saying that until I can face my own fears, I shouldn't come back here."

"And how long is it going to take you to do that?" he wondered.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I wish I could give you a precise time, but I can't."

"You'll come back through right? You'll come back and we can be together?" he said pushing some hair away from my face. I looked up at him and nodded. "Yea," I replied, tears pooling in my eyes.

He sighed, hugging me close. Enjoying his warmth, I closed my eyes and melted in his arms. After a few more cuddles and hugs, we went back inside to face the boys.

"Don't bother, we heard," Paul said sitting on the couch. I sighed and sat down before Jake. "This is really what you want?" he asked.

"I think so," I said looking at Sam. Jake nodded and kissed my head. "Okay."

We stayed at the Cullen's house a while longer. I spent most of my time calming down Alice, telling her I would be back, she just couldn't see it. After that, I gave my thanks to Esme again, apologized to Carlisle one last time and then left with my boys.

"I cant believe you ran all the way here," Quil commented.

"I cant believe I actually made it here," I laughed as Sam wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"So what now?" Embry asked. "When do you leave?"

I bit my lip. "I don't know yet. Probably soon. My aunt said I was welcome any time."

"You've been keeping in contact with her?" Collin asked. I nodded. "Both her and Charlie offered to have me come stay with them after…well you know, after my mom killed herself."

They all nodded. "So anyways, her and I have been keeping tabs on each other. I think she is going to enjoy the news. She has been pretty eager for me to come out there and see her. She lives on a ranch in Kansas, so im sure I will help her with some of the responsibilities around there while enjoying the weather."

"How are you going to break it to Charlie?" Brady asked as my house was coming into view.

"Not sure yet," I breathed. "I think he already knew deep down that I was going to go, it was just a matter of time and the way things played out."

I felt guilt, and I knew it was from Sam. Tugging on his arm a bit, I shook my head and leaned my head on him. He had no reason to feel guilty. Emily wasn't his fault, nor was she his responsibility.

"Goodnight guys," I told them all as I got to my front porch steps. "night Bella," the replied, all going their own ways.

"Meet you out back?" Sam asked looking at me face to face since I was standing on the steps.

"As human or wolf?" I questioned wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Either or," he smiled.

"Wolf," I smirked. There was just something about the black furry ball of hair that I loved.

"You got it babe," he replied giving me a quick kiss. As he walked off, I watched him. "You know, I really should be jealous that you like me better as a wolf than a human," he told me walking backwards to smile at me.

I shrugged letting out a giggle. "Get over it." His eyes narrowed playfully and I let out a laugh. Shaking my head, I pulled back from the steps and went inside the house.

"Dad?" I called. Hearing the TV on, I walked into the living room and found him watching the game.

"You're leaving, I know," he said.

"How?" I questioned sitting on the couch.

"Billy called. Told me about Emily."

My eyes furrowed again. Just because he knew about Emily didn't give anything away. "Then Billy called again, said Jake told him you were leaving for Kansas."

I 'ohh-ed' inside my head. Watching his body language, I saw what seemed like anger and frustration. "I just think its better," I said gently.

He nodded. "Dad, I just want to clear my head, and I cant do that here," I said trying to get him to understand.

"What's so bad about being here Bells?" he asked me shutting off the TV. I now had his full attention.

"Its not you," I told him gently. "Sure feels like it," he quipped.

I sighed. "Its not- its just…everything here- its like I cant breathe." His eyebrows furrowed and he got up with a frustrated huff.

"Dad!" I said now standing up, sliding in front of him before he could leave the room.

"Get out of the way Bells," he told me.

"Just hold on," I said before he could yell at me. "I'm not leaving because of you. I'm not," I told him before he could protest again. He was just like me, so I knew I had to talk quick. "I just can't take it here. There are so many things I haven't dealt with."

"Like what?" he asked skeptically.

"Like mom's death," I said. His body softened so I continued. "I didn't get my time to mourn. I think I was too shocked to feel anything for a while. Seeing her body- it just took a lot out of me."

He stared at me, letting me continue. "So when I came here…there were a lot of things that reminded me of her- memories- like the way she placed and organized things throughout the house. Dad, they haven't changed from when we left. And the more I think about the old times, the more her death actually hits me." I sighed. "Its not a bad thing to keep the house this way, I think I just need to find a place to deal with all of that, and it cant be here."

"Why not the Cullen's?" he bargained.

"Because," I smiled, "When I mean a new place, I mean someplace not in the supernatural realm."

"Bells," he huffed acting like I was the difficult one.

"Dad," I said in an authoritative tone, "you were born into this world, I may have been at first, but im not anymore. And I need time to get readjusted to it. Vampires, werewolves…they aren't supposed to be real. They are supposed to mythical."

"But you and Sam are fine." He huffed acting like a 5 year old. "That's what the whole thing with Emily was about right? He finally broke up with her to be with you."

I cringed at the way he said it. "He ended things with her yes, but I wouldn't say things between us are fine. I don't know where we are right now, but I know we aren't doing anything for certain until I get back."

"And he is okay with this?" he asked.

I shrugged. "He isn't very happy, but he understands. What Emily said to all of us really got us thinking. And I don't just want to jump into a relationship like that. We did everything backwards. If this is going to work, I want to do it right."

He sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Dad, I just want you to back me up on this. I will be back. Its not forever, I want to clear my head before coming back, that's all."

"You'll be back for sure?" he confirmed.

"I will."

"Alright," he sighed kissing my head. I smiled. "But I want you to call me every now and then. Kansas is kind of far away."

"Okay."

"Alright," he said again. "Then this old man is going to bed."

I nodded. "You coming?" he asked.

"No," I smiled, thinking Sam was waiting for me outside. "I'm going to stay down here for a while."

He accepted the answer when I brought up making a call to Aunt Betty. With another kiss goodnight, I took the empty beer can from his hand and let him march up to bed.

I called Aunt Betty; leaving a voicemail as I recycled Charlie's beer can in the trash. From there, I pranced outside, searching my eyes around the yard for Sam.

A black wolf stood sitting off to the side of yard, letting its tail wag back and forth.

"Hi," I grinned, walking off the back steps to see him. He got up, walking towards me too. Taking a step back, I realized how big he was. Settling down on the grass, I laid against him as he put his head on his paws.

"thanks for understanding," I told him as I played with a blade of grass. He let out a dog like sound. Leaning forward, I gave him a kiss on his furry ear and laughed when he popped his head up.

Licking me full on the cheek, I let out a squeal and fell on my butt. "Eww Sam!"

He got up, putting his two front paws on each side of me, and gave me another lick to the face. "Sam!" I laughed out. His doggy spit was gross. My giggles continued until I couldn't breath. He had me laughing under him like a maniac.

"Okay okay," I gasped. "I give."

Stopping his action, he stared in my eyes. "You know, I could kiss you right about now if you weren't a dog."

His eyes went a bit wider, which caused a chuckle to escape my lips.

"Too bad," I sighed dramatically getting up. The wolf moved backwards, taking a quick glance over at me before running to the woods.

Shaking my head, I let the grin continue to spread across my face as I got up. Wiping the grass off my butt, I turned to go inside. Arms caught my waist and twirled me around.

"Sam!" I laughed. The ground was beneath my feet again and I squirmed as he tickled me with kisses on my neck.

"Come on," I smiled getting away from his embrace. He looked at me confused. Rolling my eyes, I dragged him into the house behind me, quietly shutting the door.

Moving to walk upstairs, he caught my wrist and gave me a pointed look. Removing that look with a kiss, I took his hand and had him follow me upstairs.

"Sit," I commanded as we made it softly in my bedroom, shutting the door with a soft click.

"You think this is a good idea?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, still following my command.

I let out a laugh. "Its not like we are going to be doing anything except sleeping."

He nodded, still looking skeptical. "I like it when you're with me. You comfort the crazy thoughts in my head," I admitted. "Now turn," I commanded again as I went to lift my shirt over my head.

Doing as he was told, I quickly changed into my pajamas and jumped in his arms.

"Now what?" he asked staring at me and my lips.

"Now we kiss," I smiled, slowly moving my head to meet his. Making his move, he quickly mashed our lips together, sucking and pulling for control. Rolling me onto the bed, we kissed a while longer before pulling away.

"Stay with me?" I asked.

"Wouldn't go anywhere else," he said gazing into my eyes. I gave him one more peck on the lips before settling next to him trying to get comfy.

We ended up somewhat spooning. I laid cuddled into his chest while he ran his fingers through my hair playing with my long brown locks. Everything about him was comforting-his smell, his touch, the way he played with my hair, even the way he breathed. The calmness I felt when I was with him lulled me to sleep, barely thinking of my fears.

I woke up with a start, jumping up from bed gasping for breath.

"Hey!" he said startled rushing over to me. He looked me over, not seeing any injury. "Its okay, im right here," he said hugging me to him as I was gasping for breath. When he pulled away gently, I ran a hand over my face and through my hair.

"Where are you going?"

"I have patrol in about a half hour. I was going to leave you a note incase you woke up."

I nodded, still feeling shaky.

"Are you okay?" he asked still holding my arms. I went to say yes, but my mind kept saying no. "just a bad dream," I croaked.

His head leaned to the side. "Are these the ones you get every night?" he wondered.

I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked up at him. How would he know anything about them?

"You come outside and sit on the back porch steps." He clarified. The light bulb went on in my head.

"It's silly," I brushed off as I withdrew myself from his grasp and slipped out of bed.

"Not to me," he spoke, grabbing a light hold around my wrist and dragging me to him. I stood in-between his legs avoiding his stare. Biting my lip, I debated on telling him my nightmares.

"Bella," he said trying to meet my eyes with his.

"I dream about my mom," I admitted. "I keep replaying the time when I found her hanging in our house."

He sighed in loss and rubbed circles on the top of my hands with his thumb. "Sometimes I feel the horror of the scene in front of me…and sometimes I swear I can feel like im the one hanging there instead of her."

"What do you mean?" he wondered.

"Its like I can feel myself being hung. The cloth being tightened around my neck, and the way my body is being lifted to pull me up onto the pull up bar."

"How often do you get these nightmares?" he asked in concern.

"Every night," I said hesitantly.

"Bella," he said gasping a bit. "Sam, you can't tell anyone," I begged. "Bella, you need to get this out. Talk about it with someone or…something," he said in full-blown worry.

"I am!" I argued. "I'm talking to you about it. Sam, please don't tell anyone. I don't want anyone to know."

"What about Charlie?" he bargained. I hesitated and shook my head. "No, he knows that I have them, but I don't think he knows the extent of what happens in them. Plus, he has enough to worry about with work. And," I said before Sam could protest, "I don't want him to freak out. I'm his daughter. I know he wants what's best for me, but…I just don't want him to know."

"Jake?" he pitched again. I shook my head again.

"He will worry enough for the two of us if I tell him. He will go into the 'protector' mode and probably never let me leave his sight. I'll most likely be bed ridden every night with him."

Sam made a face at that thought. "Sam, no one can really help me out with this."

"That's not true," Sam immediately disagreed.

"Yes it is, I have to face this demon by myself."

"We'll figure this out," he claimed, ignoring my previous statement.

"That's what im trying to do. A few more days," I spoke.

"You aunt?" he asked confused.

"I think it's just this place. There is too much that reminds me of my mom and its bringing on the nightmares."

He gave me a skeptical look. "Just come back to bed?" I pleaded. Giving him the puppy dog look, he sighed and cuddled with me again under the covers.


	8. Chapter 8

We laid together for a while, Sam making sure I calmed down before he left again to quickly phase and tell the pack he couldn't do patrol. I was a little worried that he would spill the beans about my nightmares, but he promised he try my best not to.

When he came back, I smiled and welcomed him with open arms.

"You think going to your aunts will solve everything?" he asked as I drew patterns on his shoulder.

"I hope so," I said honestly. "Sam?" I asked propping myself up on the elbow to look at him. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Do you think we will really last?"

"I like to think so. Don't you?" he asked turning on his side to face me. I gave a small shrug as I snuggled the side of my face into the pillow. "I just wonder what it will be like to have a fresh start. It was so complicated when we first went through the whole 'journey of the imprint' thing."

"I think we will turn out just fine," he breathed. Nodding, I laid on my side along with him, just staring into his eyes.

"We finally get to be together," he said with happiness, as he brushed some hair from my face. "I just hope you will still want to be with me when I get back," I declared rolling onto my back. He wrestled with the covers and snaked the hand that was around my waist, tighter against him.

"Why do you have so much doubt in us?" he questioned. I put my hands on top of the one he had around my waist in comfort. I didn't want him to get the wrong idea about where I was going with this conversation.

Taking a quick glimpse at the perfect man, I found his fist propping up the side of his head, showing I had his full attention. As my eyes dragged down further, I found his arm muscle flexed as it lay against the pillow. "I don't know. I guess I still just find it all hard to believe."

"Like what?"

"Like, the part where you are really broken up with Emily; Or that we are no longer fighting this imprint thing; or how about the fact that we are lying in bed with each other, knowing that we love each other- we said it and everything."

He beamed a bit and leaned forward kissing my shoulder softly. "I still can't quite believe that last part either."

"It's just crazy."

"Even this all happened, would you do it over again if you had the choice?" he asked carefully. I debated it with myself. Would I?

"Yea, I guess I would," I admitted. "Sure, I would try and spare myself some heart ache by not going to that bon fire, but yea for the most part I would."

He made a face at the bon fire part. "Would you?" I wondered.

"Not a doubt in my mind," he said. "But I think I would tell myself to break it off with Emily sooner, that way she wouldn't have been at the bon fire, and we could avoid what happened at Jake's."

"I don't know," I teased, "Uncle Billy had a shining moment when he yelled at Emily like that."

Sam laughed, shaking his head at my horrible joke.

"I love you," I smiled, rolling back over to be in his arms.

"I love you more," he said softly, kissing my head in the process. I smirked at his corny response. Something about it had me tingling inside.

* * *

><p>The day went by pretty quick. Aunt Betty had gotten back to me, telling me I could arrive any day or time. So, getting ready to pack my stuff, I told her I would be on the next plane out.<p>

I broke the news to Charlie, who seemed a little less happy to hear how soon I would be leaving. He accepted in nonetheless though. Offering to drive me to the airport, I took him up on it with a hug and a kiss to his cheek.

Now, I was just in my room packing up a bag. I found it was going much faster than I had imagined since everything was still packed up.

"Smile," I said pointing my camera at Sam who was sitting on my bed watching me.

"Not bad," I commented looking at the photo. He rolled his eyes as I packed the electronic device away. As I wandered around making sure I had everything I wanted to bring, Sam and I talked about what was going to happen with the Pack.

"They will understand," he said watching my face fall. "I know," I responded. "I just feel bad. They deserve a proper goodbye."

"You don't have time," Sam reminded me. I grumbled at his words.

"Come here," he commanded lightly. Walking over to him, I fit in-between his legs once again. "They will be fine," he said slowly. Looking into his eyes, all I saw was the truth, which made me feel a little bit better. "Okay, I believe you," I complained.

"Now was that so hard?" he joked. "Very," I spoke up. Ignoring my words, he pulled me down for a kiss.

"Hey! I love this song," I said tugging my lips from his. _**("Love Me For Me" by Ashlee Simpson)**_ came playing on the radio. I nodded my head to the beat, remembering all the lyrics.

"I used to sing this song in my room in Florida. My mom hated it," I laughed to Sam.

"_It's been three days  
>You come around here like you know me<br>Your stuff at my place  
>Next thing you know, you'll be using my toothpaste<em>"

I pushed my finger into Sam's chest as I went along with the words. Stepping out of his arms, I finished packing.

"_Step up, sit down  
>Get ready, let me tell you who's the boss now<br>Stay here, get out  
>Every time I turn around you're in my face<em>"

Getting in to the song, I began singing freely.

"_Don't care where you think you've been, and how you're getting over  
>If you think you've got me down<br>Just wait it gets much colder"_

I leaned over, practically singing my heart out._ "Here I am,  
>As perfect as I'm ever gonna be<br>You'll see  
>Love me for me<br>Stick around,  
>I'm not the kinda girl you wanna leave<br>You'll see  
>Love me for me<em>"

Sam looked pretty entertained as I sang, which caused me to blush. "_Shut up, come back_

_No I didn't really mean to say that  
>I'm mixed up, so what<br>Yea you want me so you're messed up too  
>I love you, I hate you<br>If you only knew what I've been through  
>My head is spinnin'<br>But my heart is in the right place  
>Sometimes it has to have itself a little earthquake<br>Here I am,  
>As perfect as I'm ever gonna be<br>You'll see  
>Love me for me<br>Stick around,  
>I'm not the kinda girl you wanna leave<br>You'll see  
>Love me for me<br>I've been waiting all my life  
>To finally find you<br>Just so I can push you away  
>And when you're crawling over broken glass to get to me<br>That's when I'll let you stay_"I sang with emphasis. I could somewhat relate to this song. It actually made me thing of Sam.

"_Oh, here I am  
>As perfect as I'm ever gonna be<br>You'll see  
>Love me for me<br>Stick around,  
>I'm not the kinda girl you wanna leave<br>You'll see  
>Love me for me<br>Love me for me  
>Whoa, here I am<br>As perfect as I'm ever gonna be  
>You'll see<br>Love me for me  
>Stick around,<br>I'm not the kinda girl you wanna leave  
>You'll see<br>Love me for me_"

Sam began clapping and I let out an embarrassed laugh. Bowing, I quickly put my hands over my cheeks to cover my blush. I'm sure I looked like a tomato.

"That was really good." He commented coming to hug me.

"Liar," I smirked as his arms traveled around my waist. "I know I have a bad voice."

"You are far from that," he argued, looking down at me.

"Well thank you," I smiled accepting the compliment. Agreeing to it didn't mean I had to believe it.

"Bella!" Charlie called. Immediately, I knew that we had to go.

"Coming!" I called to him.

"That's my queue," I told Sam. He looked like a lost puppy. Sighing, I ran my hand over his chest on last time. "I love you," I said as the bridge of his nose lay on my forehead.

"I love you too," he said kissing my head. I took a moment to savor everything I was feeling. My eyes fluttered closed, and I made sure to take note on the way he breathed and smelled.

"See you soon?' I told him, now staring into his dark brown chocolatey eyes.

"Ill be right here waiting," he confirmed. Reaching up, he met me half way and we kissed softly.

"I love you," I told him one more time. He was walking me down, but I didn't want my dad to see that PDA going on.

He brushed some hair away from my face, showing me with his eyes, not needing to repeat how much he loved me. We walked down stairs hand in hand-yes- he also had my bags in his other (what a gentleman).

Charlie took them from him, letting us say one last goodbye before jumping in the car.

"Call me later okay?" Sam asked.

"Of course," I breathed.

"I'll miss you," he spoke. I looked up him with my lip in-between my teeth. Giving him an impulsive kiss, I enjoyed the feeling for a few seconds before withdrawing.

"Don't go too crazy with out me," I joked and then went to walk away. Turning back, I stood in the doorway and stared at him. "And take care of the guys for me okay? Tell them im sorry for the not so existent goodbye?"

He nodded. "Will do."

Hitting the doorframe, I gave him one last smile before going on my way to meet Charlie in the car.

* * *

><p>"Bella!" my Aunt Betty called in cheer as I got out of a taxi.<p>

"Hey Aunt Betty," I said hugging the small older woman.

"Its so good to have you here," she breathed taking in the sight of me. "And how beautiful you have grown since the last time I saw you."

Blushing a bit, I hid my peering smile and picked up my bags I dropped. We stood outside for a few more minutes talking, until she showed me where I was staying. I took the guest room of course, which had a great view to the front of ranch.

"We have chickens and pigs. Our main specialty is horses though. If you feel up to it, im sure you can learn a few things around here."

"That would be great," I said excitedly. She showed me around a little bit more before we ran into a dog.

"Bingo!" Aunt Betty called scoldingly. "Stop chasing after the chickens!" The white and black spotted dog came trotting over to us with his tongue lolling out to the side. It reminded me of Sam.

"The dog is really named Bingo?" I asked my Aunt as I bent down to pet him. She nodded with a light chuckle.

"He seems to really like you," she noted as he cuddled his head in my side. Letting out a laugh I agreed with her. After giving me a full tour of their property (which was huge), she let me go and get settled. Immediately I skyped Jake. He was bothering me with his repeated texts me all day

"Hey," I smiled as he popped on my screen.

"Bells!" he cheered.

"So I think I might be the dog whisperer," I joked. "Oh really?" he asked, the view of him now shaking. He was getting up from his bed I think.

"Jake, what are you doing?" I asked starting to feel motion sick as the camera kept moving and the background kept changing.

"Surprise!" the pack yelled from his living room. I let out a laugh and waved at all of them. They are ridiculous.

"Have you been waiting there the whole time?" I asked all of them. The camera shifted back to Jake. "Yea, they've been here pretty much all day. Lucky me," he joked.

There were sounds of protests to Jake's comment and I laughed.

"So how's it over in Kansas Bells?" Embry asked walking into view.

"Good, I really like it. Its beautiful out here."

"Not as beautiful as La Push I hope," Jared joked sarcastically. "Of course not. Cloudy skies, mostly cold weather…how could I love Kansas more than what I just described about La Push?"

I got to talk to everyone while on camera for a small amount time. Each of them made me feel a bit less unsettled about being out here, especially Sam. He seemed really happy to see me, whether it was on camera or face-to-face.

"You seriously have a dog named Bingo?" Seth asked when I told them. "Seriously!" I giggled. "He's a white dog with blacks patches. Heck, he even has one patch of his fur on eye white, and the other black. Cutest dog of my life."

"How do you not sing that Bingo song when you call for him?" Brady asked seeming very serious. My grin spread. "Its hard not to. I'll let you in on a little secret. When my aunt first called him over to us, I sang it in my head."

They all chuckled as Brady accepted the silly answer. Talking with them for a little while longer, I found my aunt in the doorway waiting for me.

"Guys, I got to go," I cut them off. I heard a bunch of 'aww's and 'noo's. Giving them my final goodbye, I sighed off and shut my computer.

"Sorry about that," I apologized to her as she came into my room.

"Not a problem. I didn't know you left people behind."

"I did," I smiled. "Bella, did you even want to come here? I don't want you to think I forced you here."

"I came here on my own," I said. "But if you don't mind me saying, I think my permanent home is in Forks."

"I understand," she smiled. "Its just good to see you."

"You too," I grinned. After that, we talked a lot about what happened in La Push and what brought me here. At first, I was hesitant telling her everything. But as she showed me nothing but kindness, I let her know everything- how I was in love with Sam, how he was with Emily at the time, what she had said to me, and how I wanted to deal with everything.

"Well," she sighed putting her hands on her lap.

"I know I want to be with him Aunt Betty," I said as we talked about Sam, "I just don't know if im ready to take on the responsibility of being his girlfriend when he is the head of the tribe." Of course I didn't tell her about the supernatural world. Instead, I said that he was the boss of their tribe in La Push, which wasn't a lie. He kind of was...

"Sweetie, as long as you love him, you will work it out. By the sounds of him, he doesn't seem like the type of guy that would just force you to stand by him. Give it time. Truthfully," she spoke, "You already seem like you are willing to take the responsibility."

"And you know what," she added taking my hands, "don't think of it as such a tedious job. Feeding the all those men, making sure your own man is happy, is just a part of everyday life. I know you love to cook, so that shouldn't force you into anything, and that man Sam seems happy just having you at his side."

"I just worry im not strong enough. I just…I watch him and see how tough he is. How he keeps everyone in line and has everything running smoothly. What if I mess that up? What if I cant do it and just fall apart like my mom?"

"Bella," she sighed coming over to lie on the other side of the bed to hug me. "You are nothing like your mother. Renee just…wasn't good with keeping track of others. Even when she was younger, the only thing she was good at was taking care of herself. She didn't have the compassion for others like you do. I loved my sister," she told me, "but I knew she would have to grow up one day, and I think the day she grew up she realized she couldn't handle the real world and took her own life."

"Do you think I played a part in that?" I wondered thinking back to Emily's words. "Not a thought in my mind thinks you did. Renee was Renee-forever a child. You my dear, are nothing like her, and don't you forget that."

I nodded feeling uplifted at her words. That was one of my biggest fears- to screw up life like my mom.

"Come on, lets eat," Aunt Betty said patting my leg. We got out of bed each feeling better about our talk. Sitting down at the table, we had potpies, which were amazing.

"Alright, this old woman is going to bed," she joked with me as I finished drying the last few dishes. Giving her a kiss, I watched her march upstairs. Aunt Betty's words replaying in my head, giving me more and more comfort each time. Shutting off the kitchen lights, I went up stairs to my own room and called Sam.

"Hey," I smiled hearing his voice.

"I miss you," he spoke immediately. I let out a small giggle. "I miss you too."

"How's it going over there?" he wondered, knowing there was going to be more to it than I told the boys. "Its good. Already working its magic."

"Thank heavens," he breathed. "How was your day?" I asked getting ready for bed. "Not too bad. Had work, patrol- you know, the usual. How about you?"

I told him all about my day and even a bit of what my Aunt Betty said. I spread the enriching news and gave him hope of seeing me soon.

"Goodnight Sam," I whispered lying with the phone pressed to my ear.

"Night Bells," he said softly, neither of us hanging up.

* * *

><p>I woke up to something vibrating against my ear. Startled, I shot up looking for the culprit. Seeing it was my phone I checked it and saw a text from Alice. 'Your future is getting spotty. I am taking that as a good sign ;)'<p>

Laughing, I shook my head and replied quickly. After I was done, I sat on my bed thinking. I didn't wake up shaking or sweating. Thinking back, I remember having dreams about my mom, but they were as bad as before.

Jumping out of bed, I kept a little skip in my step as I thought I was one step closer to being healed.

The rest of the day, and week for that matter, went by without a hitch. I was learning my way around the ranch and even making a few friends. A horse named Shep was my favorite to ride, while Bingo stayed at my side practically every waking moment.

"You know, you haven't chased chickens in a while," I told Bingo as I got up on my favorite brown horse. He gave me a sideways look, silently wondering if I was giving him permission to chase them.

"Hey, its not my fault if you decide to go get them," I spoke. He gave me one last look before getting up and running off. Chuckling to myself I took off on Shep for a ride around the property.

* * *

><p>My days and nights went on like this. It felt nice living in peace for a while. Of course, I made sure to check in with Sam and the rest of the pack.<p>

Apparently this was a pretty stressful week for Sam. People were starting to wonder about the Cullen's age, so he had to deal with them, making sure they had to come up with a undoubtable excuse to pack up and leave (which Alice also informed me of). Plus he was piled in police paperwork that he pushed off for a while which I argued was his own fault.

Jake was busy with his own life, helping out his dad and keeping mine company. And the pack was jut off doing their own thing, waiting alongside the others for me to come home. I kept telling everyone I would be back soon, but I wasn't exactly sure when soon was.

My nightmares had been faded day by day since I arrived at my aunt's house. I felt myself becoming less shaky and more relaxed. Of course, when those few times I would slip up, my aunt was right there with a pep talk to comfort me.

Her and I developed a strange bond. It was almost like she was my mother figure now, but not quite. "More like a guardian," she called herself. "Your 'guide to life' guardian," she would joke. I also met her 'boyfriend' who she kept claiming as a 'good friend' but I knew they were public. His name was Joe, he was really nice too. Always friendly when he came around, and made sure to stop and talk to me every once and a while. It was weird to think my aunt had a boyfriend. Of course she was never married, but it was nice to see her happy in her older stage of her life.

"You are sure you will be okay?" she asked as I guided her out the door.

"Positive," I smiled as she walked over to Joe. He was taking her to some horseracing thing. I called it a date but she just blushed and told me it was two people going to have some fun.

"Call me if you need anything," she said. "You have Joe's number?"

"I have both of yours," I replied calmly.

"Okay," she sighed. "Stop worrying," I laughed. "I will be fine here. I can practically run most of this place without you."

She smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "I will be back around dinner."

"Which I will have set for you, Joe, and I," I replied cheeky. Her eyes lit up and she nodded. "Sounds perfect."

Giving a wave and a shout to Joe, I watched as they left the ranch.

"And she doesn't call it a date," I muttered to myself as I went to go put her bouquet of flowers Joe gave her in a vase.

Lounging around for most of the day, I decided to head out and take Shep for a ride. Turning off the TV, I headed out to the stables and saddled up.

We bolted out of the place and headed for the fields in a flash. It felt good to be on Shep. He was always so careful yet powerful. Plus, he was a really good listener when I fed him carrots. We stayed trotting along the fields for a while. The grass was getting to be long and thick. It was hard to walk in.

"You know, I will have to be leaving this place soon," I told Shep as I walked along side him.

He let out a horse like huff. "Yea, sorry buddy. I have soul mate to visit."

Shep stayed silent. "But I promise to come visit you. I'm sure Aunt Betty will have me back for a few more visits."

His head nodded and I kissed his nose. Relaxing with Shep a bit longer, I climbed back on him and let the guy stretch his legs. Taking him around the tracks and through the rest of the fields (not on my aunts property), we trotted home.

There was a tall dark figure standing at my Aunts property and I wondered whom it could be. Thinking it was one of the ranch hands; I took my time trotting back to them.

"Did you need something?" I called when I got close enough. The man still had his back to me. As he turned around I almost fell off my horse.

"Sam?" I gasped quickly jumping off of Shep.

"Hey," he laughed as I ran into his arms. "What are you doing here?" I asked excitedly.

"I couldn't take it any longer. I had to see you- in person."

I let out a small squeal and hugged him again. Was he really here to visit me?

"Sam," I smiled pulling away, "this is Shep," I introduced. The horse let out a 'neigh' and I rolled my eyes. "Fine, we can go back to the pen," I told him.

"You understand…a horse?" Sam questioned skeptically. I rolled my eyes and looked at him. "I'm the animal whisperer around here."

He chuckled and I broke my serious look. I guess im not very good convincer.

"So how have you been?" He asked with his hands in his jean pockets as I locked Shep back up.

"Good, real good." I said turning to him. He put his arm around me and I led him out of here. There was a loud bark and I turned to look for Bingo.

"Bingo?" I called as we made our way out of the stable. "Bingo!" I yelled.

He came running over to me with his tongue sticking out of my mouth. "Hey boy," I said bending down to scratch behind his ears.

"Sam, meet Bingo," I said introducing him to the dog.

"So this is the dog you've been talking about."

"The one and only," I smiled getting back up to be in Sam's arms again. I signaled Bingo to follow us as I guided Sam to the house. "My aunt is out till dinner," I told my boyfriend as I put food in Bingo's bowl, "so we have some time to ourselves."

"Perfect," he said while watching me from the kitchen table. "Now, maybe you can tell me why you are really here?" I questioned coming over to stand in between his legs.

"I'm here to see you," he told me with a small kiss to my lips. "You couldn't have waited a week or two?" I asked.

"Not in the slightest," he admitted. Kissing him again, I felt my heart melt all over. I didn't realize how much I really missed him until now. "You know, I didn't know you could leave La Push."

"I really shouldn't," he said. "I'm alpha, so I should go back soon."

"How long is soon?" I wondered. "Probably tomorrow or the day after that."

"That's really soon," I said sadly.

"You could always come with me," he requested. I made a face. Did I really want to do that this soon?

"Come on Bella, we all miss you," he whined.

"I haven't been gone that long," I protested. "2 and a half weeks." He rebutted. I rolled my eyes. So maybe that was a while. "I just don't know if im ready to go back yet," I told him rubbing his shoulders.

"Why not?" he questioned.

"I'm just not sure if I want to jump back into the supernatural world yet. Don't get me wrong, I miss you horribly, I just…I like it here."

"You're not coming back are you?" he questioned with heartbreak.

"I am," I spoke before he could kill himself with those thoughts. "I just don't want to go back yet."

"Its not that bad," Sam said. "The world we live in really isn't as horrible as it first seems."

I gave him a small look trying to understand. "Please, just think about it?" he asked.

"Okay," I breathed. "I'll consider it."

He gave me a kiss, pulling back, teasing me when I wanted more. For the rest of the afternoon, we hung around the house enjoying each other's company. Sam's time here really appreciated what we could have. It gave me some piece of mind and it made me feel all gooey inside that he flew all the way out here to see me.

"Bella?" my aunt's voice rang out.

"Aunt Betty!" I said getting up to meet her. "Hey Joe," I smiled. He gave me a nod and they both looked to the man behind me.

"Aunt Betty, Joe, This is Sam. Sam, this is my Aunt Betty and her boyfriend Joe."

"Close friend will do," Aunt Betty corrected giving me a look as she shook Sam's hand. "Well you are much more handsome than I imagined. I can see why Bella likes you so much," she claimed.

"Evil evil woman," I tisked at her while shaking my head. Sam knew I liked him, but I don't think he realized how much- until now. Sam shot me a grin before shaking Joe's hand.

"Well its very nice to meet you," Joe gruffed out. Joe also reminded me a lot like Charlie. He had that same manliness to him and a few of the same mannerisms. Setting out the place settings as the older people got situated, we waited for the lasagna to be done.

"So what did you two do all day?" she asked as we sat around the table with the pan of food.

"I, actually, took out Shep for a long ride before Sam surprised me."

"Have fun?" Joe asked.

"Tons," I smiled as I put more lasagna into my mouth. "I think his saddle needs changing though,"

"Okay, we can do that," Aunt Betty smiled.

"So Sam, how did you know where to find us?" Aunt Betty asked him.

"She mentioned it a few times so I thought I would come see her. I hope I wasn't intruding."

"Not at all," she smiled.

"I mentioned it once," I spoke, thinking it all over. Sam shrugged. "I pay attention."

Going back to eating, my insides just turned to mush a bit more. I only had to say it once, and it wasn't even that big of a deal, and he still remembered.

"How was the race?" I questioned to the couple.

"Not bad," Aunt Betty said looking at Joe. "We lost the bet on who would won, but it was fun."

"If she would have bet on the one I said, we wouldn't have," Joe said teasingly. "Oh hush," she spoke with a laugh. I watched the old couple smiling at the love. Whether Aunt Betty liked to announce it to me out loud or not, I could see it and I knew she wasn't denying it (except to me- I think she thought I was too young or something). After that Sam helped me with the dishes. As we finished, I found Aunt Betty and Joe were still out on their walk around the ranch.

"I missed you," I whispered to Sam as we stood in the middle of the kitchen.

"Missed you more," he spoke simply as he gazed into my eyes. Reaching up for a kiss, he gladly gave me one, making sure he me just how much he missed me.

I broke away standing back flat on my feet.

"Come with me," Sam pleaded. I closed my eyes and felt horrible for letting him down. "I'm not ready yet."

"Yes you are," he said. "I can see how light you move around here. You don't seem to have a doubt in your mind. Please Bells," he asked putting some hair behind my ear.

"Not yet," I told him with my ear to his heart. "I just can't yet."

He sighed and kissed my head.

"Give me a few more days okay? I promise I will be home real soon."

He looked into my eyes not saying anything. Putting my forehead to his, I sighed. Why was this so hard?

Joe and Aunt Betty came in a few minutes later and she gave me a look. "Bella, Joe and I were out looking for Bingo but couldn't find him. You think you can come help me out?"

I nodded, gently pulling away from Sam. "I'll be back," I whispered to him and then followed my aunt out of the house.

"You okay?" she asked.

I nodded, stuffing my hands in my back pockets. "You have that look you first had when you came here," my aunt pushed a little farther.

I let out a laugh. "I'm okay."

"Feel like talking about it?" she inquired not giving up. I let out a loud sigh and titled my head up to the now starry sky. "Sam wants me to leave with him tomorrow."

"And?" she asked not finding a problem with it.

"And, im not ready to go back yet. I feel like I could make more progress if I was to stay here."

"Bella," she laughed, "Honey, there is no more progress to make. You healed yourself all on your own."

Kicking the dirt, I glanced over at the stables. "I'm scared to go back."

"I can see that," she said. "Why?"

"Because everything is so complicated back home. I feel like…being here there is not a single stressful thing here."

"From what I remember, things wont be as stressful anymore," she said. "Your worries concerning your mother are fixed, that Emily girl is out of the picture, and you are willing to take a leap of faith with Sam. So what else could it be?" she wondered.

I bit my lip. Sometimes I wish she knew about the magical world.

"Everything is just so different there," I mumbled, "what if I end up losing it again? What if I can't take the pressure or I start having nightmares again?"

"Then you are always welcome back here," she told me coming to a stop. "Have a little faith in yourself Bella. You are a magnificent girl. And if you ever need me, I am a phone call away."

I felt a little better after she gave me a hug and we started walking back. "So I should leave tomorrow?" I asked her. "You should leave whenever you are ready," she told me in that kind voice of hers. I nodded and opened the door for her as we reached the house.

"Bingo somehow made his way to the living room. Seems he never left the house before dinner…" Joe said oblivious to what was actually going on. I smiled at Aunt Betty, holding a laugh as she rolled her eyes. I found Sam looking over at me with curious eyes, so I nodded to the stairs.

Leading him to the guest room, I shut the door behind him.

"You okay?" he wondered. I nodded and walked into his arms. All I needed was his comfort right now.

"Let me get changed and then we can talk," I told him as I pulled away to go get ready for bed. When I came back out in my pajamas, I took Sam's hand and led him to the queen sized bed. He took one side while I took the other.

"I want to go with you, but I think I need to spend a few days saying goodbye to my aunt and giving myself some closure."

"Alright," he said without any whine to his voice. I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked up at him. "Alright? No 'why Bella' or 'please Bella'?"

"I heard you and your aunt talking," he told me. "Stupid werewolf hearing," I said letting out a frustrated sigh as I rolled onto my back.

"Hey," he said coming to hover on top of me, "its not a bad thing. Hey, don't be ashamed," he said pulling my hands away from my face. "I understand okay?"

I nodded.

"Our world can be a hard place to live in. I'm starting to see that now. I guess I just never actually realized how difficult it could really be because I was grown up into it."

"I'm sorry I'm not going back with you tomorrow," I told him as I put my hand on his cheek. "Don't be," he whispered rubbing my wrist.

He leaned down to kiss me softly. From there, I told him about my days here and everything there was to know. I informed him my aunt didn't know anything about his secret except for that he was the alpha of the 'tribe'. He let out a loud laugh at that. There was a small knock on my door and both Sam and I turned to see who it was.

"Oh, I was going to bring Sam some blankets for the floor but I guess you both have the sleeping arrangements sorted out," Aunt Betty said.

I blushed a little and shook my head.

"Don't worry Aunt Betty, we won't be doing anything except sleeping."

"I hope not," she said with a pointed look. She gave Sam and I a friendly smile, saying her goodnights and then was off to her own room.

"I like her," Sam said tugging me to his chest. "Me too," I whispered as he shut off the light.

"Night Bells," he whispered kissing my temple. "Night Sam," I replied before falling asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

I woke up to someone groaning beside me. "What is that?" he grumbled out. I lifted an eyelid open and found it was the sun. Chuckling, I rolled over and kissed his cheek. "That is the sun."

"You're kidding me," he groaned out tiredly. I let out another laugh. "A lot different than Forks and La Push huh?"

"So different," he mumbled bringing me to snuggle with him.

"Can you turn it off?" he wondered as he was drifting back to sleep. I held my lips together so I wouldn't start bursting out laughing. "Let me see what I can do."

Sliding out of bed, his arm went searching. "No," he whined. "Where are you going?"

"To shut off the sun," I laughed. Giving him another kiss on the cheek, I walked over to the window and pulled the drapes together.

"Better?" I wondered climbing back in. "So much," he mumbled hugging me again.

I lay against the headboard with a pencil and pad of paper in my hands as Sam slept. Every now and then I would glance over to watch him and smile. He really was the center of my world.

I finished my next song. Peering over at Sam, I still found him still sleeping. So I bent over, sliding the guitar I found when I first came here out from under the bed. Strumming it lightly, I began playing with some chords. As I came up with some sounds, I softly began singing.

_**("I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz)**_

_When I look into your eyes_  
><em>It's like watching the night sky<em>  
><em>Or a beautiful sunrise<em>  
><em>There's so much they hold<em>  
><em>And just like them old stars<em>  
><em>I see that you've come so far<em>  
><em>To be right where you are<em>  
><em>How old is your soul?<em>

_I won't give up on us_  
><em>Even if the skies get rough<em>  
><em>I'm giving you all my love<em>  
><em>I'm still looking up<em>

_And when you're needing your space_  
><em>To do some navigating<em>  
><em>I'll be here patiently waiting<em>  
><em>To see what you find<em>

_'Cause even the stars they burn_  
><em>Some even fall to the earth<em>  
><em>We've got a lot to learn<em>  
><em>God knows we're worth it-No, I won't give up<em>

_I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily_  
><em>I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make<em>  
><em>Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use<em>  
><em>The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake<em>  
><em>And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend<em>  
><em>For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn<em>  
><em>We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in<em>  
><em>I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not<em>  
><em>And who I am<em>

_I won't give up on us_  
><em>Even if the skies get rough<em>  
><em>I'm giving you all my love<em>  
><em>I'm still looking up<em>  
><em>Still looking up.<em>

_I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)_  
><em>God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)<em>  
><em>We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)<em>  
><em>God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)<em>

_I won't give up on us_  
><em>Even if the skies get rough<em>  
><em>I'm giving you all my love<em>  
><em>I'm still looking up<em>

"That sounds amazing," Sam said as he moved to kiss my shoulder. "Hey, you're awake," I smiled back. Setting my guitar down, I turned to kiss him.

"You're still song writing," he said to me, sounding more like a statement than anything.

"I am," I smiled. "They are good. Really good," he commented.

"You haven't heard all of them yet. I've only played this one, and it didn't mean to be in front of you," I joked as I nudged him.

"I heard a part of the one you played at the Cullen's. And I read the one titled 'So Yesterday'. That was about me right?" he asked. I blushed a bit.

"Okay so you've heard one and a half."

"I also heard you singing when you were packing."

I blushed. "Okay, that's two and a half."

"I also heard the song you sang when you hung out with Embry."

"How?" I questioned stunned. When I sang in front of Embry that was probably the rawest thing I had ever done. Not only was I without any instrument, but that song was kind of close to my heart.

"He was thinking about it when he was phased with Seth, who told him about it and then passed the memory along to Paul. Then Paul was thinking it when he phased with Quil, who was out on patrol when I came to see you that one night."

"Oh," I blushed. "Gosh, I really hate your werewolf abilities sometimes," I mumbled to him. He let out a laugh and kissed my head. "You sounded beautiful."

"That's not the point," I blushed. "But thank you." Eventually we made it downstairs for breakfast. Aunt Betty had everything set out for us, already down doing work at the ranch. We made our plates and ate across from each other. It was odd not having a lot to talk about. I felt like I got out everything I needed to say. Somehow we found the topic of the pack, which then led us to talking about Sam's departure time.

"I should probably leave soon," he said as we sat on the couch together. "You don't even know the flight times yet," I complained. He pulled out a piece of paper that had the departure times.

"All I have to do is show up to the airport."

"Great," I huffed.

He raised an eyebrow me. "It shouldn't be too big of a deal, you said you were coming home in a few days."

"I am," I confirmed before he worried. "I just... I don't know. I liked having you company. Leaving after lunch is really soon. I wasn't expecting it."

"Well if it's any help…I'm here right now."

I let out a laugh and snuggled closer to him, "yea, it does."

He caressed my hair for a while, sometimes twirling it around with his fingers. "You think I can call you when I get back?"

"You better," I claimed, wrapping my arm around his stomach. "I'm gunna miss you- even though it's for a few days," I whispered sadly to him.

"I know," he sighed. "I'm going to miss you too."

"You sure you don't want to stay longer?" I asked. "I mean, its not like you have to pack or anything. You didn't bring anything."

"That's because it was barely a 24 hour trip," he told me kissing my nose. "And yes, I have to get home. I need to shower, put on some new clothes, and," he sighed, "I have work tomorrow."

"You didn't take the day off?" I questioned. Wasn't he going to be exhausted?

"No, I forgot to call off when I got here so I will go in late."

"Ekk," I said pulling a face. "Have fun with that."

He gave me a face, which I quickly kissed away, giggling in the process.

* * *

><p>Sam left when he said he would. He called for a taxi right after we had lunch. I gave him a long deep kiss telling him to text me when he got back to La Push so I knew he had made it okay. He gave me his promise and kissed me one last time before getting in the cab.<p>

The rest of the time spent at the ranch felt pointless without Sam. I could feel that constant ache in my heart and I knew it was the imprint. I tried to brush it off or call him every once in a while, but it was still a bother.

* * *

><p>When I woke up the next morning, just days after Sam had left, I put hand to my chest, rubbing it. How long was I going to be able to take this? Rolling out of bed, I got dressed and headed downstairs for breakfast. Aunt Betty had the table all set up. There were pink, orange and white gerbera daisies in a vase in the middle of the table, plates full of food, and a 'happy birthday' ribbon, which pageant people wore.<p>

"Well good morning!" My aunt cheered with a party hat on her head. "Happy birthday."

"Thanks," I said blushing a bit. "This look amazing," I told her, pointing to the table.

"Well I wanted to do something special for the birthday girl," she smiled as she set some orange juice in front of me.

"You didn't have to," I said thanking her for the glass.

"Its your special day! You are 20."

"I am," I said feeling a bit odd. 20 seemed so…much more like an adult age now.

As she sat down with me, eating her own plate, we discussed when I was going home and what I wanted to do today. It was funny how I forgot my birthday. With everything that happened, it just slipped my mind.

"So how are you going to enjoy your day?" Aunt Betty asked as she cleaned up our plates. I stood up to help her but she just repeated 'no I got it,' and had me sit back down.

"I don't know. It might just be a regular day. Maybe I will take Shep out one last time before I leave tomorrow."

She nodded. "That sounds good. Make sure you call your father and give him a heads up you are coming back tomorrow."

"Right," I smiled. I was excited to see him. Giving my aunt a kiss on the cheek, I raced upstairs to get my phone. Calling the Forks police station, I waited for them to hand the phone to Charlie.

"Bells?" he called.

"Hey dad," I smiled.

"Did you need something? Is everything okay?" he wondered with worry.

"I'm great," I sparkled. "I just wanted to let you know I was going to come home tomorrow. Is that okay?"

"Sure," he said with happiness. We talked a little bit more on how I was doing, what was going on at home and work, and then he wished me a happy birthday.

"Thanks dad," I smiled over the phone. It was nice to know he wouldn't forget the day. There was some shuffling in the background and his voice came back over the phone. "I have to go Bells. See you tomorrow okay?"

"Sounds good dad. Be careful, I love you."

"Love you too," he chuckled and then hung up the phone. After that, I called Jake, praying he wouldn't remember my birthday. It wasn't that I didn't like the day I was born, because I did. I was one of those people who loved waking up on their birthday, finding it added a bounce to my step. It was just, with Jake, he was overly excited. Not only would he be belting out the happy birthday song at the top of his lungs, but he would be sure to equipped me with all of those silly things like a crown, a sash (like what my aunt gave me, except with some bigger and bolder words that said happy birthday) a button, a shirt (which he found at some store that said 'today is my birthday, say happy birthday to me- most embarrassing shirt ever), balloons, and even a bouquet of flowers. For some reason he found my birthday to be the best time of the year to embarrass me.

"Hello?" a voice asked.

"Hey Jake," I smiled.

"Bells!" he shouted in happiness. "Happy Birthday!"

From there he started singing out the happy birthday song, and it led me to a fit of giggles. He could be so corny sometimes (and I secretly loved that).

"Thank you," I smiled.

"Please tell me you brought your birthday shirt with you," he said.

"No," I laughed, "Sorry. But I do have a sash from my aunt. I kind of feel like im in a beauty pageant."

"Good," he chirped. "At least you have something on."

"Yea yea," I joked. "So I am coming back tomorrow, you okay with that?"

"For real? Tomorrow? That's awesome. I will be at your house," he laughed.

"Sounds good," I chuckled. We talked some more. I had to keep steering him away from my birthday topic. He was on the verge of bellowing out the happy birthday song again.

"Aw crap Bells. I have to go on patrol. Can we talk later?" he wondered.

"Well I will just see you tomorrow," I bargained. He let out a huff but gave his okay. With that, we said our goodbyes and hung up. I was just about to call Sam when Bingo started barking and my aunt started yelling. Sliding off my bed, I sent Sam a quick text saying 'be home tomorrow ;)' and closed my phone. Racing outside, I found Bingo barking at the chickens, running after them.

My aunt stood at the entrance at the field with concern on her face.

"The chickens got loose somehow and Bingo went chasing after them. I cant get him back," she said. Putting a hand on her shoulder, I brought her some comfort. Another bark sounded through the field and I rolled my eyes. Sticking two fingers in my mouth, I let out a loud whistle and called for the dog.

Immediately he came running for me, jumping up on me.

"Hey boy," I cooed as I scratched the top of his head.

"I don't know how you do that," my aunt said impressed as she walked away. I let out a loud laugh and went to grab a tennis ball to play with Bingo.

* * *

><p>After hours of playing fetch, I told Bingo he would have to find someone else. My arm was killing me. Trotting off, I went to go visit Shep.<p>

"Hey my favorite animal on the farm," I joked to the horse. "Ready to go stretch your legs."

He let out a horse like huff and I unlocked his pen. Putting a saddle on him, I jumped, swinging a leg over him, and commanded him to go. We went around the track, jumped the fence and galloped through the fields. The sun was just starting to set when I got back with him. After getting him settled back in, I went skipping up the steps to the house.

"Just in time," Aunt Betty smiled.

"Another birthday meal?" I questioned at the now decorated kitchen.

"I thought the place needed some more decorations," she teased. I shook my head, admiring how special she was trying to make my birthday.

"This all looks amazing," I said glancing at everything that was on the table. There were bowls of fruit and vegetable salad, bread, and fancy drinks.

Setting down the chicken dish, my stomach growled. It looked delicious.

"Dig in," she commanded as she put the oven mitts away. As we ate, we talked about what went on during our days. She laughed when I told her about Bingo.

"That dog is crazy," I told her. She let out another laugh. Suddenly Bingo came trotting over and hopped up on my lap, taking the rest of my chicken from my plate.

"Hey!" I called to the dog. He was trotting off back to the living room. My aunt let out another laugh, practically in tears.

"Serves you right for talking about the poor dog like that."

"It was the truth," I grumbled now picking at my salad. When it got late, I told my aunt I would be upstairs packing.

"Movie is in ten!" she called. I shouted an okay, rushing to get my things together. Exactly ten minutes later, she called me back down.

We sat on the living room couch together and watched some action movie. See, that's what was great about my aunt. She was more like me than I thought; yet she had her own style, opinion and life.

Bingo and I fell asleep during about half the movie. When it was over, my aunt got up, bringing over a blanket, covering me with it softly. She gave me a kiss to the head and shut off the lights, letting dream a peaceful sleep.

And that was my last night. A perfect ending to my story.

_**A/N: The end? Let me know!**_


	10. The Final Chapter

My welcome home was…surprising to say the least. When I walked into the house, everyone shouted 'happy birthday!'. All of the guys were dressed in party hats and had blowers in their mouth. A banner that read 'Happy Birthday Bella!' was behind them decorated with numerous colors.

"Wow guys," I said breathless. They really did shock me.

"And that tops the year I surprised you in school with a tub of cupcakes," Jake boasted.

I laughed, that was a good memory. I remember sitting in school listening as the teacher announced my birthday. Getting up to pass out my treats, Jake came strutting in with a whole package more. It was one of the best surprises.

"It definitely does," I smiled, hugging him as he came walking over to me.

"Good to have you home Bells," he breathed hugging me close. "Good to be home," I said.

"And thank you for doing this," I told him, referring to the party. "Of course, I just don't know how I am going to out do myself next year."

I rolled my eyes. What a cocky man.

Everyone came over with a round of hugs for me. Charlie was one of the last ones, after Sam, giving me a big hug and kiss.

"So kiddo, how do you like it?" he questioned looking at our mini party.

"Awesome," I smiled in confirmation. It really was great. Out back, they had some steaks grilling on the grill, along with corn on the cob.

"Hey…where are everyone's imprints?" I questioned. Looking at Quil, he shrugged. "We didn't know if you would want them here."

"Of course I would!" I said. Quil smiled.

"Plus, if we are having a party, we might as well go big or go home, right Jakey?" I questioned. He hooted in confirmation. That was something I learned from him.

Making the guys go get their girls, I looked over to Paul.

"Go get your mom," I commanded.

He gave me a look of pain. "Bella, I don't want any-"

"Paul, it's the right thing to do. She needs to get out of the house. And its not like I have anything to hide anymore; nothing bad will happen. Just give her a chance."

He nodded, slowly getting up and thanking me. After he left, I cuddled with Sam. My dad and the rest of the boys went to check on the steaks with him.

"I missed you," he sighed kissing my forehead.

"I missed you too," I breathed.

"Am I allowed to call you mine yet?" he wondered. I laughed. He would feel possessive at a party.

"Will it make you feel better?" I questioned. He gave me a look like 'duh!'

Chuckling again. I nodded. "I guess I am yours."

He let out a hum of contentment hearing those words. Leaning down, he gave me a very possessive kiss.

"Let just…take it slow okay? I don't want any mistakes," I hesitantly said as we pulled away.

"Nothing we do will ever be a mistake. But okay," he said softly. Rubbing the side of my face against his, I felt my body melt. He seemed to be able to do that without even saying anything. I felt more relaxed than I ever have, and choosing to be his, couldn't have been the more right thing to do.

* * *

><p>We went out back hand in hand. I laughed at Sam when told me some lame joke Brady told him when he was on patrol.<p>

As we passed my dad, I gave him a quick kiss and looked over at the steaks. They weren't looking too burnt…yet. The laughter was cut short though when Paul came walking in with his mother. I could see the anxiety plastered on his face as he brought her in. Tugging Sam, we walked up to the two of them.

"Letty, would you like to get something to drink with me?" Sam questioned holding his arm out like a gentleman.

"Sure," she smiled. Taking his arm, she let go of Paul and gave us a smile. Sam squeezed my hand one last time before letting go.

'Want anything?' he mouthed as he walked away. I shook my head, giving him a loving smile, and then turned to Paul.

"Please stop worrying," I begged in the slightest. "I wanted you to bring her here so you didn't have to worry about her at home, not so you would have a freak attack here."

"I just don't want her to cause trouble," he said watching her.

"Paul," I said gently as he went stiff watching his mother pick her drink.

"Have a little faith. Sam would never let her take alcohol here. And hell, there isn't even alcohol being served. Please, relax a bit."

He let out a breath, letting his shoulders slump and his body to mellow out a bit.

"Your mom-…you have nothing to worry about." I corrected. "Everyone knows, there's nothing to hide, and I want you to have fun. You deserve it."

He nodded still watching the two.

"Paul," I said commanding his attention. He looked at me.

"She is a great woman-she just has a problem. Today, I promise you, we can handle it. She wont take a sip of alcohol and she will be in the best hands possible-all of ours."

He looked at me, dying to let in the hope.

"I promised I would help you through this, and that's what I am going to. But please, in order to do that, you need to trust me-and her," I said. "She wants to get better. I see it, and I know you do too. Let tonight just be tonight. Take the babysitting free card tonight okay? Your pack mates can handle it."

He suddenly pulled me into a hug, which I was a bit shocked about.

"Bella, what did I do to deserve your kindness? I just…I don't get it." He said pulling back.

"What do you mean?" I asked as we started walking into the party. "I have been a jackass all of my life. I use girls, I am pretty much mean all the time, I have a huge temper issue and I really don't care about anyone but myself. So why be nice to me? Its not like I have been overly nice to you," he said confused.

I laughed a bit. "Paul, just because you haven't shown me your Mr. Brightside doesn't mean you deserve to be treated like crap. I look at you like I look at anyone. You're no different from Jake, Seth, Sam, or anyone else in the pack. Yes you are a total jerk in the guy sense," I stumbled out, "but I don't know, I see a lot of me in you. Having an alcoholic as a mother isn't something you should think of as a punishment. Sometimes life just screws you over."

He looked at me surprised. "Why do you think I would think that my mom is a punishment towards me?"

"Oh please," I scoffed. "I used to be right in your shoes. The way you watch her like a hawk and make sure she isn't rude to others. You care; you just don't want to show it. And it makes you mad because people give you pity. You think that because you are such a screw up of a child that you deserve this. Am I wrong?" I questioned with a raised eyebrow.

He slowly and hesitantly shook his head 'no'.

"Exactly. I used to be in your shoes. Believe it or not, I used to be kind of a jerk at one point too. Whenever people would try to sympathize with me, I would brush them off or tell them they had no idea what they were talking about. And as people kept pushing, I pushed back harder. Sometimes I would yell at them saying it was none of their business or I would call them out on something else. Either way, I had a temper too."

"Please don't tell me you were a womanizer too…but in a guys sense of course," he groaned. I laughed, like loudly laughed.

"No, I didn't, thank God" I chuckled as I calmed down. "I actually mostly kept to myself. There were those one or two people that actually knew what was going on, but stayed out of my life for the most part-just how I liked it."

"So what happened?" he questioned as we got our own drinks. He offered to pour mine, which I accepted.

"I got my mom help and learned over time, she wasn't like this because of me. I wasn't the horrible daughter I thought I was. It was just her. She chose to get herself lost in the unraveling problems of her life. She wanted to feel numb and drink her everything away. And until she would have that life altering moment-the one where you see how everything has played out right in front of your face- I couldn't really do anything. All I could do was be there every step of the way to make sure she didn't hurt herself too much, and give her all the opportunities I could to make her see what she was doing to herself was hurting everyone."

"But then why did she end up killing herself? I mean, if she was a recovered alcoholic, then why take her own life?"

I thought about it for a few moments as we grabbed a seat across from each other. "I don't know. I'm not sure why she killed herself." I looked down in my drink. "All I know is that whether she was recovering or recovered, she still was battling the issue. It was an every day thing."

"So…one day she just lost the battle?" he asked a bit confused.

I shrugged. "Maybe. But I don't think so. I think she killed herself because she saw what life was really like."

I looked up at him. "See, something you have to know about my mom was that she was always a child. Everything we did together and every talk we had…was always childish. We never had those grown up talks or sat down and discussed our feelings. It was always the fun stuff. When she wanted to paint the house green with finger paint, that's what we would do. If she wanted to bake cookies and then eat them all before dinner, we did. And as I grew up, I saw that parents had rules. They may have fun with their children, but they kept it within reason- and Renee wasn't the type of person for reason. She was impulse-all the time."

I let out a dry laugh and stared back at my drink. "I remember when we were living out in Florida. We would go down to the beach almost every day. It didn't matter how much homework I had or how busy I was, she would always brush it off saying 'come on Bella, just for a few hours. You can get it done later,' and so I would follow her lead. We would put on our bathing suits and lay out in the sun staring at the everyone. Sometimes, she would even pick up a guy or two."

"Wow," Paul breathed leaning back.

"Yea," I breathed following his actions. "She was always the kid at heart kind of girl. And then one day I think she realized just how hard life could really get. Phil broke up with her, who was only older than me by maybe 8 or 9 years, her job got more stressful, and I was off at college. There was no more fun time or flirting with other guys; instead there were just bills and an empty house. An adult needed to be in the house and she just couldn't be one."

He gave me a sympathetic look as he took in my whole story.

"Renee had her own story- her own life, and so does your mom. Your mom was not like mine. She cared for you at one point. She was probably one of those moms who would read you bed time stories at night and tucked you in to bed. She would pack your lunch and drive you to school. My mom wouldn't do any of that. It required something she didn't have- motherly instincts and patients. I think that, if you give your mom a chance, you can help her. It will be worth it."

I stared at him for a while as he became fixated on his drink. I knew he was taking it all in.

"So where do we go from here?"

I smiled at him. "We enjoy the party. Clear the worries from your head for a bit."

"Is that even possible?" he asked. I glanced over at Sam, laughing as I saw him wrestling with the rest of the guys.

"Sometimes if you let go, it is."

* * *

><p>Charlie called us for dinner, serving the (surprisingly) nice looking steaks. We all sat around a big round table, laughing in each other's company.<p>

All in all, it was the start of a great night.

* * *

><p>"So, I think its presents time," Jake said wrapping his arms around me from behind. I let out a laugh seeing how excited he was. "Sure."<p>

Retracting his arms, he went to call everyone over. Kim and I laughed at his silly ways. He was a handful at times.

I found it nice to hang around Kim. She was pretty shy, but if you were to strike up a conversation with her, she could definitely hold one. I admired her openness and kind tone. She had nothing but nice things to say, especially when it came to Sam and me. The few times when I would strike up Jared, she would blush like a tomato and give him those dreamy eyes. It made me giggle.

"Alright, lets start out with…Brady and Collin," Jake said reading the tag to my gift.

Opening it, I found a bunch of DVDs and a gift certificate to the movies.

'This is awesome guys, thank you," I smiled. They both nodded proud of themselves. Next I opened Kim and Jared's and I found blank music sheets and a personalized binder to hold it all in.

"Guys, this is so sweet," I said. Running my hands over the cover, I smiled at my engraved name.

"My turn," Jake smiled coyly. I gave him a strange look. What was he giving me?

"Close your eyes," he said. I sat there hesitant. "Come on Bells, it will be worth it, I promise," he whined.

Nodding, I let out a sigh and hoped he wasn't lying. He held out my hands and put something light in my hands. It almost felt as if it was…a guitar?

Opening my eyes I found it was a guitar. Jake's guitar to be exact.

"Jake," I breathed as I ran my hands over it. I saw J&B carved out on the top in cursive.

"I know it was mine even though we called ours, but since I don't really know how to play anymore and you do, I thought it should be rightfully yours."

"But Jake I mean…you've hand this for a long time. It used to be your moms," I breathed.

"I know, but I want you to have it. I think she would too. It belongs to someone with talent; someone who can actually take the time and play it."

"Thank you," I said completely touched. I stood up, hugging him tight. He was the sweetest guy I would ever know.

"Way to show us up for the people who still have their gift unopened Jake," Seth grumbled. I let out a laugh and wiped away the emotional stray tear.

"I love anything you guys get me. It's the thought that counts, especially because you didn't have to get me anything. I haven't really been the most present thing in your lives."

"Just because you had your lover's spat with Sam doesn't mean we didn't like having you in and around the pack," Brady shrugged. I smiled at him. Maybe Jake was rubbing off on him.

"Thank you," I said softly.

Next was Charlie. He stepped forward giving me a nicely wrapped box. Taking off the top, I found a photo album.

"Your mom was going to start it when you were little. When she had the idea she immediately had to go out on the hunt and look for the perfect book. But…you know your mother," he said with a certain tone. "She never got around to it, so I thought I would give it a shot."

"Dad," I breathed as I picked up the book. I felt like it was so fragile. Renee was once touching this. She actually put some motherly thought into something for me.

"This is amazing Dad, thank you," I said tearing up again. "Gosh, what is with you people? I am practically bawling."

"Nah, you'll survive," Embry said hugging me.

"Alright big guy, where is your present?" I asked as he was smirking.

Walking over to the table, which held only a few small boxes left, he picked one up and threw it at me.

Catching it with ease, I unwrapped it and found a deck of cards. I gave him a confused look.

"Thought you might want to brush up on your game of rummy before versing me again," he smirked. My face broke out into a grin.

"Oh, I will. But just so you know, you might want to buy a pack of these for yourself. We all know you need some major help building card towers AND playing slap jack."

He rolled his eyes but chuckled nonetheless. "Oh, its on Swan."

"Bring it Call," I teased right back. With a wink my way, I blushed like a tomato. Laughs were all around and I looked to Sam.

"Your next bud."

He looked slightly nervous to be honest. I wasn't sure what he got me, but he didn't seem to sure of himself.

"Okay," he said catching the present Jake threw at him. He slid it in front of me, waiting for a reaction.

Slowly, I pulled away the bow and opened the box. Inside was an opened letter. It was from some music publishing company.

"I sent in some of your music. They said they liked your lyrics and would like to send them to some recording artists to meet with you. They want to use your songs."

I stared at him and then the paper. At the bottom of the box was a business card with a persons name and a number on the back.

"I told the guy it was a surprise so he said to have you give him a call when you could talk. They seemed really interested."

I looked back at Sam. He seemed antsy, waiting for a reaction. Thoughts couldn't come to my head. It was like…nothing.

"I…I love you," I laughed standing up and going over to hug him. He let out a breath and melted in my arms.

"Sam, this is…unbelievable. Thank you."

He nodded, kissing me softly. "I just hope you are not mad I had to dig through your drawers a bit."

I shook my head. "No, im not. You had a reason to, im not mad."

He broke out into a grin and kissed me again. "You know, you have been holding out on us. There were a few songs in there that I haven't heard."

I rolled my eyes. "Not every song I make requires you all to have a listening session."

"Oh, I think it does," Embry corrected. I rolled my eyes and teasingly shot him a dirty look.

"Okay, well I would like to get on with my present- I mean ours," Paul corrected as Seth shot him a look. Seth handed Paul the last box, which was shaped like a jewelry box (because it was long and skinny) and he handed it to me.

Unwrapping it slowly, I found a folded up note.

_Dear Bella, _It read in perfect cursive handwriting,

_Sorry we couldn't be there to celebrate your special day, but we do have something for you. Your talent for music is a real gift. And with that, we would really like to give you a place to express it. Inside this note there should be a key. Please take it to our house and find your surprise._

_All our love,_

_The Cullen Family_

I glanced back up at the two wolves. "Did you go see the Cullens?"

"I think you should just follow the instructions on the note for right now," Paul said cryptically.

"But can you cross the border?"

Seth nodded, "Sam did some editing to the agreement.

I spun around to Sam with a raised eyebrow. "I couldn't tell you about it or else it would have given it away."

"Given what away?" I asked confused.

"Just…come on," Paul said guiding me by the shoulders. The pack and I walked through the woods as the grown ups and imprints hung back.

"Guys, what's going on?' I questioned as we got to the mansion. I opened the door and found a bunch of rose petals and candles lit around the house. Seth gave me a nudge and I followed them.

Upstairs on the main level of their home, I found a twisted staircase off to the side of the living room, which was definitely not there before. Peeking back at the Pack, I followed the clue and went up to the newly built room.

Inside I found myself standing in a mostly glass surrounded room. It faced out to the beautiful forest, almost as if I was standing in the middle of it. At first, I was totally confused. The room had red walls with pictures of musical artists who seemed to be my favorite. My lyrics I first wrote at the Cullen's were hanging up in a frame on the wall, along with some of my other work.

"What?" I asked looking all around. There was a piano off to the corner of the large place, along with a complete drum set made by TAMA.

"They can't be serious," I gasped as I saw the drums were the Superstar Hyper-Drive. From there, I saw a few guitars, electric guitars, and other musical instruments.

"Its all yours," Paul said.

I stared at him wide eyed. "Its all mine?"

"Of course Bella, why wouldn't it be?" A pixie like voice asked. I turned to Seth and found him holding up a laptop with Alice on the screen.

"Alice, Esme…Carlisle," I said beyond shocked. They were all there.

"Are you all crazy. This is- this is-"

"All for you Bella," Edward said with a smile.

"We want to hear some more songs from you Bella," Rose said nicely, "And we better get the exclusive Bella bean," Emmett joked. Rose slapped him on the back of the head and I laughed.

"We wanted to do something special for you Bella," Jasper said. "Oh you did it," I said amazed.

"Good," Esme smiled. "I just hope I bought the right drum set. The man at the store was not very helpful, and surprisingly, I do not know much about drums," she laughed. Carlisle gave her a kiss on the head.

"Esme, you did wonderful. I cant thank you all enough," I gushed.

"Oh don't thank just us," Carlisle said. "Seth and Paul built the place since we had to leave. They had most of the responsibility."

My head shot to the two. "Are you serious? You guys did this?"

"Wasn't as hard as it looks," Seth grinned. I gave both the two a huge hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," I said over and over.

"Thank you, " I spoke to the Cullens. They all smiled and laughed.

"Enjoy it Bella," Carlisle said before they closed off.

"This is unbelievable. I can't believe this place is mine. And you all did this," I said looking at the pack.

"What can we say? We are just amazing like that," Seth joked. I launched myself into his arms again and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

He blushed and I went back over to Paul. "And you say you haven't been overly nice to me," I murmured in his ear. He rolled his eyes and smiled at me.

Going over to Sam, I hugged him. "Thank you for letting them do this. And for letting me come back here. I cant believe it," I said ecstatic. He gave me a kiss to the head.

"You're welcome. I'm glad you like it."

"Plus, we can see you from over there," Jake said pointing out in the forest.

"The line?" I guessed looking up at Sam. He nodded, smiling a bit coyly.

"Okay," I laughed. "I'll take that."

* * *

><p>We came back from the Cullens and I gushed about my present. I just couldn't believe it. Letty looked over at Paul, smiling and giving him a kiss to the cheek.<p>

"I'm proud of you," she whispered. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around her, melting into her hug. I gave him a smile and leaned into Charlie a bit more.

Things were shaping up, just how I liked them.


	11. Epilogue

Ever since my 20th birthday, I have been spending most of my time at the Cullens place. I created a bunch more songs, which Pete, the man from the music industry card Sam gave me, really seemed to like. He set me up in meetings letting me get together with artists like Ryan Tedder from OneRepublic, Jesse McCartney, Demi Lovato, Michelle Branch, and many more. It was amazing to feel this rush of excitement when I had a big meeting with musical artists. I felt empowered and strong. It was like nothing could bring me down.

The day I got to play guitar with Jason Mraz was probably my favorite day. Not only did I have Jake's guitar with me, but he also gave me some tips and wanted to write a song with me.

Things were going great, if only they could stay that way.

Paul's mom did get better. I gave him all the tips I could and he ended up checking her into an alcohol rehab. She was supposed to get out in a few months, as she was responding well to the treatment.

Jake had imprinted a month ago, to a girl name Sarah. Ironic huh? -His mom's name being Sarah and all too. She was a sweet girl; very soft spoken but head over heels in love with Jake. They made a great couple.

Quil was staring to get to know Claire a little bit better since she was getting older. Their relationship had been growing well and I think he was happy about it. He could feel more things for her and get a reaction out of her. Claire was growing fast.

Embry was still a great friend as always. He didn't have an imprint yet, but it was a possibility he wouldn't. Either way, that fact didn't bother him. He was happy with just being him. It was interesting teaching him the drums a few weeks ago. Sometimes he would take a few trips to the Cullen's with me and practice, which made the days more fun.

I hadn't seen the Cullen's in a while. Apparently they were in Alaska visiting some people. Alice had predicted Edward getting married to this woman named Tanya, but the future was still unsure of course.

Speaking of the future, Alice still couldn't see mine, which meant I was still with my loveable wolf Sam. He was doing great too. My dad was thinking of stepping down from being Chief of Police since Harry Clearwater died of a heart attack. He said he wanted to help take care of Sue, his wife, which made me curious again. I wondered if my dad had imprinted on her. Just because he was no longer phasing didn't mean he couldn't imprint- I even checked with Sam about that.

So anyways, Sam was being considered for Chief while still being the alpha of the pack, and mostly everyone was doing well.

Seth and Leah were having a hard time dealing with their father's death- Leah more than Seth since she had a fight with Harry before he passed away. It actually caused her to phase into a wolf, which shocked us all.

No one thought females could phase, which had me in a bit of fear. If Leah could phase because of her wolf genes, that means I could too.

"Hey," Sam said bouncing up the steps of my music room.

"Hey lover," I smiled, watching him walk over to give me a kiss.

"How's the next song coming?" he asked looking at my paper.

"Not the best," I said truthfully. Setting my drumsticks down, I put the paper on the floor and walked into his arms.

Jared and Kim were still going strong too. They were actually getting a place together in a few days. Kim was just on her last 'house hunt' for the day to make sure the place she picked out for her and Jared was her favorite.

"You ready to go?" Sam asked.

"As ready as ever," I told him with a kiss to his lips. He slid his hand into mine, leading us out of the vampire house and back to his place.

I spent most of my time at Sam's, finding it was easier to hang out there. His place was nice. It was meant for him. His kitchen was slightly smaller than I liked, but it was cozy. Everything about his house was.

I kept quite a few things at his place, finding it easier that way. Every time I would accidently leave a little bit more behind each time, he pushed for me to live with him. As much as I wanted to, I was too traditional. I was raised to get married first before moving in with someone, but I wasn't going to tell him that. Marriage was the last thing I needed. It was a scary thought. I was only 22 after all. _**(A/N: Yes, I set this so two years have passed.)**_

We grabbed a quick dinner, him cooking this time. We had grilled cheese and soup. Well I did. Sam had a lot more than that. He ate the sandwiches but alongside that had a salad, almost a loaf of bread, some lunchmeat, and some fruit.

I fell asleep during our movie, which I did quite a lot too, hence me leaving things here. He plopped me into his bed and we fell asleep just like that.

Most of our problems these days concerned Collin and Brady. They were starting to figure out what the life of a wolf was really like- all of the responsibilities and commitments. They were having a hard time dealing with all the talk at school and lying to everyone. This caused them to lash out at the pack more than often, Sam in particular. Many times it would end in Brady and Collin needing time to themselves in wolf form, while other times it concluded in taking a few trees down, which concerned the La Push community. They didn't understand how trees were falling down so quickly in such a short amount of time.

I loved life here. No longer did I feel like the imprint controlled my relationship with Sam. I think I got it through my stubborn head that Sam chose to be with me, just like I chose to be with him.

Rolling over, I opened my eyes briefly to see the 26-year-old man sleeping beside me. He was gorgeous. Literally. Sam was everything I wanted in a guy. Tall, dark, and handsome; he had the kindness in him I wish other guys would have, he always supported me and cared for me like no other- I was living my own little fairytale.

"I love you," I whispered to him before sleep succumbed me again.

_**A/N: So I think this is the end. I don't have much to add to this since it seems like a perfect place to stop- A happy ending for the most part. =)**_

_**I may add a sequel, you never know, so you might want to be on the look out, but no promises. (I really cant think of what to put for a sequel).**_

_**Hope you all liked it! Any ideas to what a sequel should include? (Again, it may not happen …)But I'm open for ideas so hit me up!**_


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